What NT Women Want

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The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Feb 2020, 2:55 pm

Well, in my case, did let her go - without any attempt to stop her (I know she wanted me to do so, but I chose not to).

Karamazov
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27 Feb 2020, 3:04 pm

^ Yeah, I got my dad to turn up with a big van and we packed everything we could of mine into into in a single day.
Left her crying on the doorstep.
But: I’d had enough of being kicked and punched for failing to be NT, so forced myself through it.
Collapsed into a heap at my grandads two days later.

Even when you know it’s the right choice, it still hurts doesn’t it?

Have whichever of the following you feel most comfortable with:
•Manly bear hug.
•Firm but not too firm handshake.
•Light kiss on the cheek.

Fnord
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27 Feb 2020, 3:05 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

magz wrote:

But honestly - I'm tired of having my experience invalidated based on dating site statistics. I have nothing to do with dating site statistics, I never joined any and I don't care for them. If you want to meet interesting people of your type, don't go for the statistical average, rather do interesting things you like and meet others doing the same. Even if you fail to find romantic love, your life will be much more enjoyable.

This is one of the best statements I have ever seen on this site. Single people of WP, read this carefully rather than the ridiculous "clickbait" articles you can read online. It ultimately didn't matter if 1%, 10% or 90% of people on dating sites liked me, all that matters is that 'extraordinary' people (in my case my wife) do...

All it really takes is one other person.

The_Face_of_Boo
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27 Feb 2020, 3:21 pm

Karamazov wrote:

•Manly bear hug.
•Firm but not too firm handshake.
•Light kiss on the cheek.

Eww, emotions...

To clarify, I let her go to immigrate - a chance that may not happen to her again. She expressed twice that she's very uncertain and asked me what I think is best for her; even on the evening before the flight.

Karamazov
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27 Feb 2020, 4:22 pm

^ yes: I’m very sentimental, and you’re having a hard time so that’s how I react! :lol:

That’s very sad, I don’t know what else to say at the moment...

(sighs)

Teach51
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28 Feb 2020, 12:34 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Karamazov wrote:

•Manly bear hug.
•Firm but not too firm handshake.
•Light kiss on the cheek.

Hugs Boo nevertheless

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The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Feb 2020, 4:51 am

Teach51 wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Karamazov wrote:

•Manly bear hug.
•Firm but not too firm handshake.
•Light kiss on the cheek.

Hugs Boo nevertheless

Jakki
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28 Feb 2020, 6:19 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Whenever guys say these facts on this forum are quickly labeled as sexists and misogynists.

You forgot to mention height btw.

Agreed. Women are generally allowed to stereotype or chirp misandry, but men can't speak the same of women.

Tiana,
What about NT women who are gay, trans or bi? Or is the list heteronormative (as well as ableist)?

this is true , i think but this list does , betray some real life realities i feel.

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XFilesGeek
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28 Feb 2020, 9:44 am

Jakki wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Whenever guys say these facts on this forum are quickly labeled as sexists and misogynists.

You forgot to mention height btw.

this is true , i think but this list does , betray some real life realities i feel.

People are allowed to talk about their own personal experiences. What they are not allowed to do is generalize them to half the population.

If you see "misandry" report it.

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Fnord
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28 Feb 2020, 9:51 am

XFilesGeek wrote:

If you see "misandry" report it.

There it is!! ^^^

XFilesGeek
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28 Feb 2020, 7:03 pm

Fnord wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

If you see "misandry" report it.

There it is!! ^^^

Seriously, people claim there's this horrible "misandry," but they never report it.

cberg
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28 Feb 2020, 7:50 pm

Misandry hasn't come up forcefully in a while but I think it's a pretty major presumption to say prejudice somehow suddenly isn't a problem anymore.

Seriously?

It's a cop out to typecast people who describe societal ills as whiners. Were feminists just whinging too when they asked for room for equlity? If people aren't standing up for themselves nobody really has any rights in a state of nature.

Give guys a break. We are here talking about our lives just like you.

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cberg
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28 Feb 2020, 7:57 pm

To be clear I am not saying prejudice is to blame for my social isolation, I'm just stating that prejudice is obviously an awful thing in general.

I don't care about false assumptions & unwritten rules. I am more interested in the many parts of any female mind that are free from this BS.

draconis.lignum
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29 Feb 2020, 3:22 am

cberg wrote:

For what it's worth, all autistic people really want (from a guy's standpoint at least) is to be accepted enough to spend more time comfortably with people we care for.

Most of us aren't averse to making changes to make that happen but it seems like everyone is focused on ways we all have to conform instead of deviating from the norm whatsoever in order to be closer to people.

I like being clean, presentable & agreeable to women in any way I can. I work full time to make that happen & it takes all the energy I might ever use to keep in touch with anyone. I really wish I could find time for women in my life to talk about these things with me & I would value that tremendously. I get the vibe that's not about to happen. No one is open about ASD struggles in my personal life.

I don't think OP means any offense but accomplishing all this on a daily basis can be painfully exhausting for people with ASD. From what women are writing here it's difficult to see why I shouldn't give up. It's simply pointless to fight human nature. Perhaps it's good advice & I know I've been following it for years, I only feel more alone now than ever though.

cberg, is your feeling alone now related to not having the time for women in your life and talk with them?

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draconis lignum
AQ 38 RAADS-R 150 Aspie-Quiz AS 148 NT 80 FQ 62 SQ 104 and now?

quite an extreme
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29 Feb 2020, 9:17 am

cberg wrote:

The big problem with ASD is to get body language and expectations of women right just because it's a nonverbal and emotional thing. For people with Aspergers it's very important to learn eye contact. It's an advantage if you get people emotionally right if you do it. One thing that you should be aware of with NTs is it that they sense your feelings and like or dislike you just because of the way that you are. For this you need to care about your body language. You don't need to blend in but you have to be at least a positive way. That means not being a depressive, very unsure or self-doubting way or afraid of the people around. Otherwise you'll face a negative prejudice in general.

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Last edited by quite an extreme on 29 Feb 2020, 9:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

Mona Pereth
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29 Feb 2020, 9:19 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

magz wrote:

I fully agree with the above. All of my friendships and romantic relationships have been with 'extraordinary' people too. However:

GiantHockeyFan wrote:

Besides if I can get and stay married anyone can do it.

Don't assume that "anyone" can follow in your footsteps. For example, one's ability to find 'extraordinary' people depends to a large degree on where one lives, and not everyone can afford to move to a better place.

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