Why do girls want cocky, arrogant guys?

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Well I am fifteen in September and I also live in Britain.

Awww. Oh well, maybe you could hook up with Malcolm? He's in the UK and in your age range.

You do know what Hooking up means, don't you, Sean?

One night stand + similar acts.

Really? I always wondered what a lot of these terms mean.

Consider someone saying "Oh, yeah, they're going out.". It could mean that, in the future, they will go out on a single occasion. It could mean that, in the present, they regularly go out on such occasions. It could indicate that they are in a relationship. It could indicate they're having wild monkey sex every waking hour of the day.

I always wonder if, when I would try to get a girlfriend, and in a sense, ask them out (in the relationship sense of the term, but not that bluntly). I always wonder if "going out" means "having sex" or not. Like, do you want to have sex with me or something. Myself, I only intend to communicate my feelings or the desire for a relationship. But evidently everyone in my high school is drinking and having sex a lot (not that those are necessarily bad, I just don't relate), even, like normal straight-edge people.

It'd be nice if people were more direct and didn't use all these ambiguous terms/double entendres. See, hooking up, to me, seemed to be an appropriate term, like, why don't you guys get in contact.

Weird.

at my school hooking up just means anything from kissing to having sex.

Okay, so "hooking up" has a whole spectrum of meanings, but I was thinking of hooking up to go on a date- the tamest and most innocent of definitions.

that's what i thought you meant, too.

Sean: YOU ROCK OUT LOUD EVEN MORE!

Except I'm not actually looking to "hook-up" with anyone, in any of the five hundred or so definitions.

Oh.

*Sends virtual hugs to Malcolm* Don't be sad.

Thanks.

ma_137,

You raised a very valid subject regarding your observations of these women who steadfastly refuse to break off with these goons that do nothing but sh!t all over them all the time. I think this topic deserves to be examined further. Thank-you for broaching this one.


chamoisee,

I think you painted an excellent picture with your posting up there about the qualities you seek in a man and you certainly shed light on how a male can be "alpha" in a mature and sensible way. I wish I could say the same about some of the women I date


And now to take this thread on a bit of another tangeant, I would like to touch on this thing known as co-dependency: that is these women who seek out those types of guys usually have low self-esteem. Because of this low self-esteem, it is these goons that give them what they feel they "deserve". This being mentioned, I invite you all to have any input you can offer on being in a co-dependent relationship.

On the personal level, I recently had the very good fortune of meeting an extremely rare gem of a woman I could relate to on every level, being this E.T. from Arturus that I am We both have much in common, share a lot of the same interests, and we've had and still do have many great conversations. OTOH, when we had our first date, I could see that she had a hidden agenda. A later phone call to her place brought out the truth: her possessive and ornery "macho" goon of a boyfriend (huh?) snatched the phone from her, barely giving her the time to utter "hello", and came on the line. Enough said here.

I've always been a good listener by nature but with this woman, there had to be a bit of boundary-setting: "Talk to me about everything and anything that you like or are into, but please, let's leave the subject of your life with that man FULLY AND COMPLETELY OUT! !! There, I made it clear to her that it is an issue that "I leave entirely up to you to deal with in whatever way you see fit".

Although I've accepted her friendship, only time will tell what will really transpire. The unfortunate truth here is she doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to break off clean from that relationship and it seems to be a hallmark feature in every co-dependent relationship I've known of. I'm no psychological expert, this is just my 2c worth.

Now that I've offered an example I'm curious to see what response this will generate.

Not all cocky, arrogant guys are bad.

Someone had to say it... hehe


"Not all nuclear material is bad..."

No but the potential is there...


GA

one has to wonder WHY they are cocky and arrogant. often it hides a deeply insecure person with low self esteem.

i think what chamoisee means by "alpha male" (well, i do - sorry if i'm putting words in your mouth, chamoisee) is the type who is confident without being obnoxiously overbearing with it. that's my sort of bloke, cos i feel safe and "looked after". after all, i NEED looking after, on occasion, for all my big-gob-ness, and appearance of confidence.