Hmmm, he thought he was the anti-christ? We know a guy who thought he was God, he tried to throw himself off a building to prove he could fly. Needless to say, he got put in a psychiatric hospital, but when he came out he still thought he was God.
Phoenix, at just 19, you sure sound like you've had a lot of crap. Aren't you sick of relationships yet? Anywho, lets go through why I'm the perfect guy for you:
- I never go to camps->never meet good looking ladies->never fall for the blokes I do meet.
- If anything, you'd be the one to throw me out of my house. I'm prone to physical abuse cause I don't defend myself.
- Well, I do punch stuff on occasion. But better something than someone. Of course, better nothing than anything, but you can't have everything.
- I won't break up with you, you'll have to break up with me. Why would I do that? Someone willing to go out with me in the first place doesn't come along every day.
- See above point.
- I'm not psychotic or paranoid. See below for character witnesses.
- I'd be more worried if you WERE broadcasting: "Hi, I'm Phoenix_kitten, I have mental problems. Lets be friends."
- I already know about your mental health. You'd have to be crazy to go out with me anyway. I won't complain.
- Can your mum cook tasty sweets? "--nt ---k m-- mmth thull!" Translation: Can't talk, my mouth's full.
- Can't really say ahead of time what I'd say if you broke up with me. I'd probably just go read a book and hope you change your mind soon.
- I think my "best friend" would be happy you're with me regardless of anything. I have the impression they think I'm gay, ha.
- I don't lie.
- If it aint broke...Are you broken?
What do you think? How perfect am I on a scale of 0 to 1? Don't lie to me...Don't funk with my heeeart! I forgot the best part, I live in Perth, a couple of thousand km's away. The perfect guy, who you don't even have to see. "What's that, you want to see? Just a sec." /me copies a picture of Brad Pitt's body and pastes on his face.
Character Witness Statements:
Best Friend: "Danlo is a cool guy, quiet till you get to know him, and even after."
Brothers: "Danlo can be quite a guy, though often he's aggravating and pisses me off to no end."
Note: Disregard the last half of the statement made by person(s) named Brothers.