drowbot0181 wrote:
After a lot of deep thought on the matter, I have come to the conclusion that I am just so lonely that the slightest expression of interest in me from another human being is completely overwhelming.
This happened to me when I when my wife and I hit a bad patch (her brother was dying, and we were fighting about financial resources and other things). I felt like I wasn't loved as much anymore, and suddenly went into this mode where I was trying to be social, make friends, and maybe find another love interest or outlet. I wanted to prove to myself that I was still valued. So I did end up cheating, but it almost completely screwed up my life. Now things are much better, especially since I have a new hobby that seems to refocus a lot of my aggression and interests into something that thrills me but doesn't detract from my relationship. My relationship is also much improved now, strangely in part because of the cheating I did (which she found out about), but I would say cheating usually isn't as easily forgiven normally.
So you're having a normal reaction -- the key is to figure out what is going on in your current relationship, and whether you can fix it, before you move on to another person. Also consider diving into some new hobby, especially one involving your kids.
But, if she does cheat on you again, you might need to find an understanding about what the new rules are -- I wouldn't stay with someone like that unless I could cheat too, and we both were being safe in our sexual practices.
What was her rationale for cheating in the first place?
03 Jun 2009, 3:31 pm
