AS Standards-Likes and dislikes in the opposite sex

Page 2 of 5 [ 69 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Veresae
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,023

13 Jul 2009, 12:57 am

Some of us, myself included, have a tendency to get overly attached to relatively unnecessary traits. Sure, all NT's do too, but with aspies, it's different. More intense.



bdhkhsfgk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 May 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,450

13 Jul 2009, 4:04 pm

Lonermutant wrote:
I like skinny women, preferably with long hair, who loves to give massages and get anal sex.


:lol: :lmao:



Dilbert
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,728
Location: 47°36'N 122°20'W

13 Jul 2009, 6:53 pm

Instant turn-offs: out of shape (polite way of saying 'fat'), too conservative, religious, ignorant, uneducated, substance abuser (including alcohol and tobacco), bigoted.

That's it. I'd go out with any woman not in the list above.

An NT woman would not go out on a second date with me. No one ever has. I freak them out every time, due to no action or words on my part. It is the whole non-verbal body-language eye-contact thing we are all familiar with.

That said. My dream girl would be a tall athletic woman, with a college degree and a good career, book lover, outdoorsy, prefers a coffee shop over a bar or a club, well versed in science and classical knowledge (history, philosophy etc...) and has never stepped foot into a church/mosque/synagogue/whatever.



Hector
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,493

13 Jul 2009, 7:07 pm

Dilbert wrote:
substance abuser (including alcohol and tobacco)

That might rule out a lot of otherwise good potential matches...



Dilbert
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,728
Location: 47°36'N 122°20'W

13 Jul 2009, 7:13 pm

Hector wrote:
Dilbert wrote:
substance abuser (including alcohol and tobacco)

That might rule out a lot of otherwise good potential matches...


Don't I know it! :(

The real diabolical thing is that I'm very good looking and in amazing shape. Girls stare and often take pictures when they think I'm not looking. And yet in this society I can't find a stable relationship with someone compatible. I just can't.



Cynic
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 92

13 Jul 2009, 8:31 pm

poopylungstuffing wrote:
I have a thing against foul body odors

Fishy women are just as bad. :P



UnrelentingHorror
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 225
Location: The county of oranges, California.

14 Jul 2009, 2:47 am

Hector wrote:
Dilbert wrote:
substance abuser (including alcohol and tobacco)

That might rule out a lot of otherwise good potential matches...


Hey you are aware there is a distinct difference between use and abuse right?
For instance, a couple beers now and then no biggie, getting tanked constantly and letting it destroy your life. That would be abuse



Saspie
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2009
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 402
Location: Sydney

14 Jul 2009, 4:22 am

I am not too fussy but major turn offs are people that are:
-religious or spiritual
-submissive
-weird smelling (bad or even just an odd smell)

Those things are deal breakers. Then there are kind of the second stage stuff that I look for, which is all fairly typical - average to good looking, funny, intelligent, shared interests. I went through a lot of people to get the almost perfect partner (no one is perfect but I think my partner comes pretty close).

I do not think my list of attractive features is unusual compared to what NTs desire except perhaps I am much more accepting of nerdy people who may not be the best looking.



Hector
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,493

14 Jul 2009, 7:14 am

UnrelentingHorror wrote:
Hector wrote:
Dilbert wrote:
substance abuser (including alcohol and tobacco)

That might rule out a lot of otherwise good potential matches...


Hey you are aware there is a distinct difference between use and abuse right?
For instance, a couple beers now and then no biggie, getting tanked constantly and letting it destroy your life. That would be abuse

Well, the term is vague so whenever I see someone use it I don't think it necessarily means that the "substance abusers" in question are the #1 drug users; I'd be first inclined to believe many people in fact fell under that. A large portion of people I know my age who drink do so largely in order to get drunk, which I think falls under abuse. Also the great majority of people I know who smoke cigarettes in particular seem to have some sort of dependence on it.



OddFinn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jun 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,276
Location: Finland

14 Jul 2009, 8:48 am

For some reason I have always liked girls/women who were older than myself. My wife is over four years older compared to me.

I also like:

1) honesty

2) smiles

I dislike:

1) demands

2) yelling


_________________
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.


b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

14 Jul 2009, 8:58 am

i have no preconception of who i may like.
i love someone if we stimulate each other and we care about preserving each other in safety. if we yearn to return to each others company, and if our thirst for each other is slaked at our reunion, then that is love i believe in.

i am very shallow as far as stuff like this goes so that is all.



poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

14 Jul 2009, 1:15 pm

b9 wrote:
i have no preconception of who i may like.
i love someone if we stimulate each other and we care about preserving each other in safety. if we yearn to return to each others company, and if our thirst for each other is slaked at our reunion, then that is love i believe in.

i am very shallow as far as stuff like this goes so that is all.


That sounds about right to me.

It is very mysterious what attracts me to a person. Being able to muster some sort of comfortable connection is the first step.
I guess I find that attractive...the ability to connect with them without feeling uncomfortable...that means I enjoy their company.
I won't notice other attractive features until after I have made that sort of connection..and usually by that point, I am blind to their flaws.



LolaGranola
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 10 Aug 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 382
Location: 1994

14 Jul 2009, 1:25 pm

I have no type. I've been attracted to all kinds of peope with very different personalities and appearences. The only thing I will not tolerate is abuse. Or a drug habit. I will not sit around and watch somone destroy himself. This goes for friends, too.


_________________
"I've been really, really anti-social for the past few years, and I'm just starting to get over it, and come out of my shell, and be able to like people again" - D'Arcy Wretzky


poopylungstuffing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge

14 Jul 2009, 4:17 pm

Astheticly, I have had a few silly fetishes as far as looks go. I used to sorta like short, pasty guys with big noses...there were a couple I have admired from a distance when I was younger. As an early-teen, I had a crush on Rick Moranis.

I am attracted to unsusal-ness.

When I first met my main partner...I only noticed his physical features just so much as to recognize him when I saw him later...he looks like the Anglo-Saxon representation of Jesus (with a beer gut)
Women might gush over his big blue eyes and long wavy brown hair, but that is certainly not what makes us compatible. He is a big funny--silly obsessive packrat visionary creative man-child..first and foremost.
He is also very patient and tolerant, and a very good driver.

Turnoffs: He can be wreckless and he has lied to me and cheated on me a bit..and has a knack for saying insensitive things.

My other partner is physically beautiful in a very quiet and exotic and unusual sort of way..and it pisses me off when people have said bad things about his physical appearance...he is bald on top and small framed-slender and has funny teeth....with long hair and a beard and glasses... he is like a cross between Mr. Spock and an elf...He was my friend for years before I ever allowed myself to take notice of the beautiful features about him....He is ASish and left-handed and synethetic and vegan and effeminate and has a really strong code of ethics...and all kinds of other stuff...He is a rare and special bird. (who I hyperfixate on :roll: )

Turnoffs: He gets testy like a little kid...or humphy...like a female companion who expects you to read her mind....he likes being impossible...and he does not eat enough so I constantly have to worry about his well-being...sometimes he can be impatient and sometimes he can hurt my feelings.



Veresae
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,023

14 Jul 2009, 9:03 pm

Likes: Sweet, compassionate, understanding, intelligent, funny, random, weird, naughty, realistic, level-headed, low-key, doesn't get pissed off much, long crimson hair, elegant gothic make up and clothes (black eye make up, pale skin, dark lipstick, corsets, black Victorian-era dresses, etc.), similar taste in music and film as me, confident, busty/buxom/well endowed, creative, sensual, seductive, gamer girl, hates Twilight (lol), decisive, masculine in personality but extremely feminine in appearance, talkative, entertaining, considerate...

Dislikes: argues a lot, smokes, religious/spiritual (including anyone who believes in astrology), hates a lot of things I like (so if you like My Chemical Romance and rap and Twilight and American Idol, then we wouldn't work), has or wants kids, lies a lot, into BDSM, does drugs, republican, insecure, inflexible, suicidal, doesn't read or looks down on anything that requires her to do any reading, overly lazy, has borderline personality disorder, is asexual, gets angry easily, immature, indecisive, racist, violent, wears perfume, overly spontaneous and can't stick to a plan, is super busy and has no free time, slu*ty, cheater, plays games, isn't direct, complains ALL the time about EVERYTHING, overly normal, looks down on anything "weird," always wears blue jeans or other normy-wear, short hair, blond hair, NO hair, body hair, tan or dark skin (sorry! I'm not racist, just don't find it attractive in romantic/sexual partners), quiet, crazy, neurotic, drives hella fast, always wants the music up hella loud, cold...

Naturally these are not my expectations, but they're still my likes/dislikes.



hyder13
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 133
Location: Charlotte NC/NYC NY

14 Jul 2009, 9:05 pm

sunshower wrote:
Likes: intelligence, open-mindedness, kindness.

Dislikes: stupidity, close-mindedness, nastiness.

Appearance: no preference, as long as they're healthy.

I've been told I'm abnormal in my preferences and the traits I focus most strongly on in a prospective partner, and I'm starting to figure I'm very abnormal because even people on this site have relatively normal preferences.

But I'm glad I am the way I am, because having appearance as a first/very important preference doesn't make sense to me. Of course, I consider healthiness to be a prerequisite, but as far as varying genetic features go - I don't consider that.

How unutterably boring, choosing someone mainly because of appearance. In my opinion, you may as well go out and buy a nice ornament instead. It would give you the aesthetic quality you're looking for, and chances are you'd get along with it better.

basically the same as her except yelling is also a major turnoff...oh and I would prefer a spiritual person as I am very much into it, Christians or Muslims are fine with me.


_________________
We are like boats dashing together; our eyes are darkened, yet we are in clear water.~Rumi
As melhores coisas na vida são livres


Last edited by hyder13 on 14 Jul 2009, 11:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.