So many interests, yet no girl seems interested.

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All the interests in the world won't help, if you don't have a personality they like. I'm not saying you have a bad personality, I'm just saying you haven't met a girl who is compatible with yours. The interests are a bonus to a relationship, not the basis.

I kind of disagree with this. If I don't share common interests with someone, I don't see any point of ever being around them.

But you have to have their interests and personality that they like. Which is pretty reasonable, because I dont know too many guys who would date a girl who's a total ______ to them. Also for men a girl has to look good.
For women he has to have personality and share some interests
For men she has to look good and be nice (treat him good).

Understanding anothers' thoughts and feelings, are way more important than having someone to go rock climbing with. If you love somebody you feel comfortable being around them, and trust them with every aspect of yourself. Love doesn't care if your mate wants to go fishing with his buddies, or if she loves to crochet. When there are common interests, that just makes things more enjoyable. They are not a requirement. You should be with someone because you know you should be with them. It's something you feel, not something you do.

NT women are usualy into thier social circle. That's thier interest. And, of course, music. So if you have a wide range of musical tastes, that helps. Unless you want to be a Metrosexual (which is a technique), stop trying to have mutual interests.

Mutual interests are how girls get guys, because Guys want to talk about stuff. Guys dont have friends who arn't interested in the same things. A girl who likes sports and can talk sports will always have a date. A guy who likes sports might go to a sports bar, where there are women who have learned it's a great place to pick up guys who have jobs and hang out with NTs.

I personaly have dumped every girl who has ever mentioned an interest in sports or country music. Check please. If she's into speed metal or opra or something unusual for a girl, then we can talk. Even if I don't like it, I like that she doesn't follow her gender.

When you get to college, join the drama club, any music organization you can find. If you want to find mutual interests with girls, join groups that are predominatly female and where the males are expected to be effeminate, nerdy, or wierd. You hang out with the cheerleaders and female jocks, so your not above hanging out with chicks. But stay away from the jock scene. Your not going to be alpha hanging out with the football team unless your on the team. Your inner jock should be a secret. There is probably a romance novel club. Join it. Romance novels are chick porn. Protest something. Protest anything. Go metrosexual. Hang out with the outcasts. Left wing causes have women who sleep around. Right wing causes do not. You figure it out. If your small and/or skinny become a vegitarian-female vegitarians expect thier men to be skinny. I hate actors..They are professional liars and deserve do admiration. I find the very fact that people get scholorships for acting offensive. When I went to college, my interests were heavy metal and dungions and dragons. Not exactly the first choice for chicks. But I when I joined the drama club BAM! Compaired to the guys there, I was butch. I was all of a sudden an alpha-male. I grew my hair long and got the goth/brooding artist thing going. And it actually expanded my horizons. There was a whole world out there that I was ignoring because I was stuck in a fantasy world. I started hitting concerts and underground clubs and actually had a life. You can too. But hanging out with the cheerleaders is probably not going to do it.

I disagree --- TOS and deadeye, re-read the OP's post. He just got out of high school. He's going to go from a pool of people what was maybe 3,000 people max to a pool of people that will be probably in the 10,000 to 40,000 range (depending on the campus) -- that's a lot bigger pool to choose from, and the AS/nerd/eccentric -compatible pool will numerically be much bigger. He's already taking the steps that some of you guys refuse to do, making an effort to be social and out there. He's going to land a chick.

Honestly, I really think so many guys overthink this, or self-sabotage. I think from previous threads we know that certain people here know they have to fix things (personal image, the hours they actually leave the house, getting involved, living someplace other than home with mommy and daddy), yet they don't and expect things to change on their own. Everything I've seen in my life says that life just keeps getting better after high school. High school is probably the worst your social situation will ever be (unless you were a popular kid, in which case it's probably downhill from there). In college and the rest of life, you have numbers, maturity, and life lessons on your side. Let's not scuttle this guy right outside of the harbor.

I would agree, it does get better as you get older, if you are proactive. If you sit at home and play video games and expect love to fall in your lap, aint gonna happen.

I have been trying for years to find a female Aspie who likes the Simpsons and South Park, but have not found any that are single.

Just the OP here to clear something else up. I am not an introvert, as many of you seem to think that I am. As a resident of Buffalo, I regularly attend Bills and Sabres games and was even at the Bandits (our local indoor lacrosse team)'s championship game. In addition, I have sat behind the glass at a Phoenix Coyotes game and a few rows from the court at a New York Knicks game AND at a Phoenix Suns game. I'm even going to a Pittsburgh Pirates game this Saturday against St. Louis (hoping to meet Albert Pujols before the game during batting practice). Finally, the only video games I do play are sports games, I have no interest in World of Warcraft or any other games of that type, so if you thought I was just a desperate, reclusive hermit, you're wrong.

P.S. RIP Arena Football League- 1987-2009 (I had front row season tickets for the Buffalo Destroyers in 2000)

This could be it. Being aspies, we often get lost in our interests too much. NTs are more people-oriented. What do your cheerleader friends do for fun when they're out of uniform? Do you come with them?

Well, I hope I didn't imply that personally, though my argument pretty much applies to anyone with focused interests, and this includes you. You are saying things about where you sat that would probably really impress really hard-core sports fans, mostly guys, but not necessarily everyone else. So that might be sort of a turn-off -- like most of us Aspies, you're obsessing on your hobby pretty strongly.

Nothing wrong with that, but don't think that every cheerleader or even most normal women will jump at that or be excited. Most cheerleaders are just there for the attention and to be around big guys, or to get a foothold in the entertainment industry (and a minority to be around very pretty women).

You need to think about what your audience might be interested in. For sure you can find girls that are into sports, but know that a lot of them are into sports because their man is. You need to make sure you talk about normal things too, movies, TV, broad topics of conversation. You might be coming off as sort of a sports nerd right now, and believe me, nothing is more boring to someone who isn't into teams, sports, stats, etc. than someone else spouting on and on about it. At the best, I can listen to them if they make it at least some kind of human interest story without the numbers, but after that, my eyes roll back and I start looking for something else to do.

And unless you have an interest in psychology, art, fashion, or entertainment, your chosen field is not going to be that particularly populated by women... And god forbid you're into highly technical fields like an engineering field, hard sciences like physics or chemistry, or something like information technology (my chosen field)... then the number of women drops dramatically, and the few that are there are either snapped up real quick or they are the type that are so incredibly studious that they don't have time for relationships... I don't blame them for it (it's their life and not any of my business), but it does reduce the number of single women you're going to interact with in college to near-zero...

That said, if the OP is into a female-centric field like some of those I mentioned, I take back what I said because you won't have any problem then...


To be honest, I was better off in my later years of high school (after I cooled off from being impulsive and overly aggressive) than I am now... Women then would at least feign interest in me (if only to use me, but still, some used less than others, and some users still return at least something for my efforts)... nowadays, they just ignore me (or keep me at arms length)...


Let's not feed this guy false hope...

Maybe this is a glass half full/half empty thing -- I've certainly met CS and Engineering major women whom I've found attractive, and who were neglected by their nerdier/low testosterone/socially inept classmates. A guy with balls and confidence could clean up. Also, if you like Asian or Indian women, you're in the right place.


To be honest, I was better off in my later years of high school (after I cooled off from being impulsive and overly aggressive) than I am now... Women then would at least feign interest in me (if only to use me, but still, some used less than others, and some users still return at least something for my efforts)... nowadays, they just ignore me (or keep me at arms length)...


Let's not feed this guy false hope...[/quote]

I think he'll be fine -- the guys in college that didn't get any chicks didn't try, or were too scared to act on the girls that were throwing themselves at them. Yeah, you gotta clean yourself up and watch what you do and say, but at the end of the day, most colleges are imbalanced to have more women than men, and those women want a man!

You obviously haven't been to an engineering school, then... Imbalanced to have more women than men my ass... my college is 80% guys...

That's why I was mentioning certain fields... if you're a guy into something technical (as I am), you're not going to get anywhere...

You're correct -- my school had everything -- liberal arts, art, engineering, etc.

I still can't help but notice that all of the girls I'm attracted to at work are CS/engineers....

Girls don't really care about what you're into, but more about how you act towards them and how you make them feel. Also, would you say that, just based on social worth (social worth being your physical attractiveness, how easily likable your personality is, status, etc), are these girls out of your league? They're all well aware of this if they are indeed out of your league. Don't worry about these high school girls, college is coming up and from there you can really start to work on how people perceive you because you're starting fresh.

During college, what you should aim to do is approach as many girls (whether you're attracted to them or not does not matter in this case, all you want to do here is get really good at jumpstarting mutually fun and enjoyable conversations with girls about basically nothing [in other words, you want to get good at flirting with them and being comfortable putting off a vibe that you're not some asexual creature]) outside of your dorm's social group as you possibly can to tweak how you act around girls and attune yourself to the signals girls send when they're attracted to you. While I haven't gotten into a relationship yet, doing this my last semester before I graduated immensely helped with my understanding and experience with girls.