Any experiences with Mail order brides?

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I can tell that this is a very sensitive subject for some.

This thread was on Russian brides--the other one on Vietnamese.

I'm sure that there are plenty of Russian women who are very sincere. On the other hand, given that we are talking about Russia, I'm sure that there are plenty of scams, too. So, beware.

From what I understand, Russian women may have a hard time finding a suitable Russian husband because so many Russian men are alcoholics, smoke, and are unhealthy.

On the other hand, if you are thinking about sponsoring her in the USA, brace yourself for a bureaucratic nightmare--I think that our Immigration and Naturalization Service starts from the assumption that every Russian citizen is a KGB spy, and good luck proving otherwise.

I think I'll hold off on this mail order bride thing until I'm done with grad school.

I tried learning pick up artist stuff but gave up on it after deciding it wasn't working out, perhaps I'll give it another try for a little bit.

After that, I think a Russian bride is worth a try. Worst case scenario, I get divorced which won't be too painful with a solid prenup in place.

Anyone else have more info about Russian or other east European brides? Thanks for all the people that have chimed in so far, its all very interesting.

The ads with mail order brides seem way more disturbing to me than escorts selling themselves off online.

Just looking at most of the pics of gorgeous women who are desperate enough to be married with a stranger overseas seems crazy as well as risky imo.

Hey if love happens...I'm all in favor of it! I just don't see how arranged marriages would work out especially if one obvious reason is to be in the land of so-called opportunities $$$...

I thought about it before, in the past. Not seriously though. I always viewed it as a prostitute service, only with a really good selection. Perfect for a single guy who never gets laid.


The problem was that I was always broke, so i never got to try it out.

This topic comes up on WP from time to time. Here are few things to think about and look into.

First and foremost, I encourage you to try to realistically assess your needs for personal space and your level of coping in this world. At the risk of stating the obvious, a wife (or husband) will intrude on your personal space, and maintaining a marriage will require time and energy. (Personally, I have a hard enough time just trying to get by in this world.)

Second, this article
http://www.worldpress.org/Europe/2111.cfm
discusses the different scams out there, and the things legitimate agencies are doing to try to weed out the con-artists.

Third, take a look at the profiles on a few marriage web-sites. (I will send you some urls via PM, so as to avoid spamming problems in this thread.) Don't just look at the pictures --yes, some of the ladies are very pretty-- read their brief self-descriptions. I think you will discover that a lot of these women are outgoing, adventuresome people, who are looking for a husband to start a family with. They like travelling, hanging out with friends, going to restaurants, dinner parties, clubs, etc. In other words, they are a lot like the people on regular dating web-sites. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but do you share those interests? (When I was in my late teens and early 20s --long before I had ever even heard of Asperger's-- I tried to be more outgoing and sociable, but I was never any good at it.)

Finally, I have not tried this, but you might have better luck finding someone with similar interests, personality style, etc., by using one of the dating web-sites targeted at “geeks” and “nerds”; see the articles "Testing: Nerd-Dating Sites" <http://www.nerve.com/regulars/quickies/nerddating/> , and "Better Mating Through Circuitry" <http://www.nerve.com/screeningroom/books/interview_virginiavitzthum/> . (You probably should not visit Nerve.com's website if you are surfing from work.) Also, a web-site for science geeks, which is not mentioned in those articles, but which someone else suggested in a different thread, <http://www.sciconnect.com/>.

If your a woman and you have sex with a guy who can't provide for you or your child if you get pregnant, your no less pathatic than a guy trying to order his wife through the mail. American make all kinds of irresponsible decisions because we think "love" makes it right. Aspergers is not an excuse for irrisponsiblity, nor is being in "love".

marrages are a socio-economic ventures designed to provide mutual security and a stable environment for procreation. People who are in love are the absolute worst at deciding if they are right for marrage. Sometimes the get lucky. But being in love is like being drunk, there are chemical changes in your body that impare decision making. So mail order is probably no more hit or miss than falling in "love".

You simply cannot order or buy "love". You should also not have high expectations of fidelity from her, she may desire NT companionship, as your relationship will be awkward and emotionaless at times. You should demand that she be descrete if that happens. You should have high expectations of yourself as financial and health care provider, if money goes away, she probably will too. If you have poor hygene habits, odious sexual desires, or are a total slob/neet freak, this araingment will make it difficult. She will be anoyed by your quriky habits. Have no expectations her beauty will last. It's easy to be skinny in eastern europe. It's hard to stay thin in America. The drain on your finances and her emotions will get worse as her beauty decreeses. Pretty girls who start loosing thier beauty also start loosing thier influence, and get realy grumpy and depressed.

Mail order brides are trying to get to America and make a new life for themselves and thier family, and they are willing to suck up being in a marrage with someone they don't love in order to do it. The one thing all mail order brides probably have in common is that they have given up on "love".

So, if you order a bride through the mail, you should never, ever expect "love". You should strive to have a marrage that is functional and not miserable. You should no more expect to fall in love with a girl you hire at the office than one you order through the mail.

The hotter she is, the more expectations of wealth she will have. If you wash dishes at the local taco bell, and you got an extra 10 grand when Aunt Suzi passed, forget about this araingement. You should make at least six figures (or more if you live in a big city). Expect her to take all your money in one way, shape or form. The nicer she is the more she will cost (she will want her family over here). Sex with any woman capable of bearing children runs the risk pregnancy, which riskes a life long emotional and financal drain. And you deserve what you get for wanting something you didn't "earn".

You will have to curb looking at other girls or porn in her presence, as she will take this as a threat to her survivial and start taking "backup" steps. You should provide her a room to herself, allow her a budget, allow her to work. Spend a few years before deciding if you want children.

You should not have any expectations of sex. If she's not into you, she's not into you. Cohersing (threatening to have someone deported) someone to have sex, even a spouse, is a form of rape and is not only immoral, but punnishable by jail time in most states. This is the best case.

Don't be suprised if she's a bipolar drug user, gets pregnant the first and only time you have sex, then runs away with her mafia boyfriend/cousin and you spend the rest of your life trying to save your kid from an abusive, drug-dealing violent step-family. She didn't volenteer to get mailed to some looser in the states because everything was perfect where she was at.

Bottom line is-You can't buy love, but you sure will pay for it.

Here is another movie that I recommend for you:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450664/

"Je Vous Trouve Tres Beau"

Do you find any of these men to be appealing?

http://mailorderhusbands.net/order/

No, wait, here are some mail-order French husbands:

http://www.bridesagency.com/french-grooms.html

Do you like wine, cheese, and French baguettes?

pandabear, russia is a corrupt place, litterally, it has amazing corruption, crime and murder-rates, but... i would REALLY not worry about a mail order bride messing me over.

MAYBE the "service" take your money, and you get no bride, that could happen

but i dont think the bride herself will mess w you, considering shes most likely afraid in in a foreign place miles from home, likely pretty much broke, and stuck w a guy who, for all she knows, ordered her to get someone to vent their aggression on.

ive never even heard of brides causing trouble. all they want is an oportunity outside russia and are willing to be pretty much SOLD AWAY for that purpose. i sincerely doubt theyre gonna start causing trouble.

If you're really interested in Russian women, I would recommend going to Russia yourself for maybe a couple of months, and checking out the ladies yourself, and skip the matchmaking service.

What if you ended up married to a shrew? You'd have to tame her, then.

Well, here are some practical tips:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0Ohz_KQOyE[/youtube]