Janissy wrote:
therange wrote:
A girlfriend would give me something to do, no pun intended. When I was dating the first girl I was dating, I at least knew that two times a week, we'd go out or hang out and we'd talk on the phone in between before things fell apart. With a girl that actually wants a boyfriend and is into me, it could boost my social life and like I also said make me a better person. While it's up to me to get better, girlfriend or not, having someone that cared other than family and seeing my life genuinely and postively impact an attractive, nice female's life would probably motivate me.
My problem is the same one someone else is facing, but also with the not driving. I don't live in an area conducive to dating. I don't live in the middle of nowhere, but I suppose people meet each other in these parts through social circles. Even for one night stands (which I don't want) the bars are in Boston and Boston is a pain in the a$$ to get to, driving or not. Not even the prospect of meeting an attractive woman could make me want to go there. So that leaves the neighboring towns...and random approaches at shopping malls, bookstores, and such if I want a selection of decent looking unmarried women, and I don't currently have the balls to randomly talk to a stranger. I can have a convo, but randomly going up to a girl and saying "hi" is difficult for me.
People meet each other in these parts through social circles. That is your answer right there. You need to get out and meet more people in general. The more people in general that you know and meet, the greater the chances that you will be invited to a social gathering where there are girls or that you will be introduced as friend of a friend. What is hlding you back is
not your location. You would have just as much trouble in the middle of a city. What is holding you back is not having or not having enough social circles. Don't go looking for girls. Go looking for people. Once you know people, you are in a social circle. And that is where people meet their mates, as you correctly guessed.
Not completely true. I've become friends with modelers who have founded an association. But they mostly build modern military aircraft, tend to drive away people who model cars, civilian aircraft or other stuff, have shown no interest when someone else invited them to a party at his home with girls (he even took one with him one day so that they would see what sort of girls lived in his neighborhood) (and since I don't drive, I couldn't go over there by myself, as his place lied past the hills surrounding the city where there's no bus route), and spend saturday nights at their club watching TV or videos together, and have verbally expressed their lack of interest in serioous relationships with women. So much for "meeting their mates there"... even Star Trek or anime fans have more of a social life. They may be my friends, but I definitely don't want to spend my saturday nights with them. Unfortunately, my other friends with whom I used to go out on saturdays have each gone their separate ways by now (taking courses at the university with no time for going out, working, or even doing one of those same things abroad), and it's become too hard to get back together, even though we all would like to. And with older friends from the university or school, it's even worse (although a friend from school organized a barbeque some weeks ago where I met guys who I had not seen in several years, though they are all married by now). And the people from the workplace hang out on friday nights (even though we must work on saturday mornings) instead of saturday nights, which I don't find right (they have shown up at work next morning with a hangover more than once, after partying until 4am or so). And I don't like to go out all by myself much... I'd say in the end it *is* a lot about being able to have easy access to places where you can meet other people to begin with.
25 Sep 2009, 12:24 am
