i have a dilemma. thoughts? advice? hear me out?

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There's no way a 4 year wait will ever happen, people that young just do whatever their friends do. I hate overprotective parents with a passion, I remember this 21 year old who had to ask her mom to do anything. It's pretty messed up that she's off limits to you since you both might be on the same wavelength. Rules are rules though and you don't wanna tempt fate, I don't know how they are where you live, but people over here are more than happy to get the authorities involved in other people's business (and there are plently of authorities to go around).

People told me this when I dated younger boys but I didn't listen.. but I'm going to give it a shot anyway:

A word of caution to you, sean. 14 year olds have no idea of what they want in life. It would be in your best interest to not take her too seriously. There are always exceptions to this, of course, but the vast majority fit the category.

On that note, and considering the legal aspects, it would likely be best to continue being friends for a while as you said.

I've definately been there.. my largest age gap was a little over 3 years.. 18(me) and 15(him) and it only recently ended.. but it was quite the emotional rollercoaster. No one could have ever disuaded me from liking him, though. I personally don't consider age to be any kind of a relevant factor in relationships but I have repeatedly been proven wrong so perhaps you can learn my experience.

Seanmw, you are a 19 year old adult, she is a 14 year old child. The likes of Janissy and laura123 make some very good points here. The last thing you want is to be labelled a sex offender or a paedophile as, no matter how nice you are as a person, as soon as you have a label like that, in the public eye you are scum. If you were to ever go to prison, you would be treated very badly in there as sex offenders/paedophiles are seen as being the lowest of the low whether she consented to it or not. Sorry to be blunt but that's how it is. If you can remain friends without acting on these feelings, then great. But if you cannot, then you need to cut her out of your life completely. I am not doubting her feelings for you here, but I think she is flattered to be getting such positive attention from a good-looking older guy.

When I was 13, I dated a 20 year old and was flattered by his attention. However, there did come a time when he wanted things to get physical (after I turned 14) and I didn't want to, so it ended. Plus my family found out and hit the roof. They threatened to call the police on him so that was another reason why it ended. It was all very stressful. I look back on it and wonder why he put himself at risk by dating me at all. I realised that it was only a crush towards the end as well. I am also glad that I wasn't ready for sex as I think it was something I would have regretted later on. He never dated a minor again. Just speaking from experience.

I genuinely hope you can either wait a few years or meet someone else around your age who you will like instead. I also know from experience that, when you feel for someone, no matter how old you are, it's not easy to just get over people (if this is what you choose to do). I just hope you don't make a decision that's going to get you into trouble as it won't be worth it for either of you.

I'm cool with waiting. The point of my posts is that you are putting yourself at legal risk and that a 14 year old girl is still a girl and not dating material.

If you want to wait, go ahead and wait. She might be a very nice woman in 4 years. Store her email address somewhere, continue to live your life, date other women. And in 4 years go ahead and touch base with her, wish her a happy 18th birthday, see how she feels.

Waiting is fine.

I agree that a 14 year old is dangerous territory, but I wouldn't rule her out as a dating potential for a 19 year old. Studies have shown that women mature at a faster rate, add AS into the mix and you have a guy who needs experience. Today, a 19 year-old isn't as experienced as a 19 year old may have been in the past. My grandpa was on his own at 17, my dad was already married at 19, nowdays, guys get married into their late 20's or early 30's and I know more than a few who live with their parents up until that point. I consider a 19 year old to be in the same ball park as a 14 year old, they're both teenagers who have lots of living ahead of them, uncle sam just decided on a number for adulthood and stuck with it.

I personally go for older than me, but it isn't because of a "connection" it's just preference.

Sean, we are all on your side. We do NOT want you to find yourself in a heap of trouble. Message boards sometimes come off sounding harsher than people mean to sound.

Reread the posts, absorb the information and consider all the advice.

You don't have to take any of it.