Challenging the idea of conventional relationships

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I think if and when you're ready, you'll know.



I do the same. Flirting is fun and a boost to the ego is a good thing, IMO.



Thank CJ. I don't know if I'm in a good place, because I feel like I'm in a difficult place, to be honest. But I also feel that I'm evolving. If things get to stationary for too long, I get antsy. I find I have to keep evolving and testing myself and my limits to be happy. To keep figuring out more pieces of the puzzle.

Ego boost a good thing? That doesn't sound right...

I'll agree on the flirting being fun though...

What's wrong with an ego boost? You can have a healthy ego. It's not automatically a negative trait to possess.

Well, you seem to have a positive outlook, are optimistic and have a plan. If that isn't a good place, it should do for now.

What is considered non-conventional?

That's true.

I think that varies from person to person. For me non-coventional is a long distance commited relationship without having the end goal be plans to live together. It's not FWB. There's a committment that it's just the two of you but no one is forced to give up their current lifestyles/living arrangements/freedom. If things change and both parties want to live together than that's fine. I would be open to the idea. But I don't want to set out with that being the goal to achieve.

I am probably going to stick with conventional relationships.

I still feel that I would do better with a fellow Aspie, based on past experience, and one with the same interests.

I do realize that I may have to travel to meet someone, but for me, the aim would be to live together, get married, and start a family.

^ I already tried it which is how I figured out it didn't work for me. Married another aspie, 20 year history, 10 years together, 2 kids.

But there are people who can pull it off and do it well.

Even though I think about sex as much as the next non-asexual guy, I just can't do a FWB situation in good conscience.

For me, FWB is a sexual relationship with no committments. What I was talking about, and stated earlier, was that there's a committment. So it's an exclusive relationship (no other partners) but you don't live together. I think those are two different things.

Interesting that I have thought lately about this too, the idea of alternative relationship styles. Maybe it's part of the continued evolution of society that alternative relationships become more accepted. The idea of "living in sin" would have been unheard of in most societies 50 or 60 years ago and now it is readily accepted to the point that governments recognise defacto couples and grant them the same rights as married couples. Likewise we see polyamorous arrangements becoming more accepted, and gay relationships and so forth.

I think AS means we look at theworld differently anyway, and we have to look at how our unique needs are met. It may be that CelticGoddess finds that she and her partner do very well in a together but seperate arrangement, both having space to regenerate and find themselves, but able to come together when it comes to matters involving kids or to spend some time together. I personally prefer not to think of it as FWB but as RWD, relationships without drawbacks. Space and time apart and time together. All that is needed is the ability to maintain balance and flexibility, but a lot of that comes down to making sure we endeavour to keep the lines of communication open.

john

RWD

FTW

I've recently realised that by far the most satisfying relationships I've had have been in my head. Even while seeing someone, I would feel closer to the fantasy character I was attached to and have a deeper relationship with them. The physical side was also much better. I'm wondering whether that's what is most suitable for me after all. I haven't admitted it to anyone because they'd probably ridicule or lecture me.

^^hey I've always thought that was normal.

some of my best relationships have been in my head

Yay, I'm conventional in some way!