Why do a lot of women do this...?

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15 Sep 2009, 3:14 pm

You sure your not a guy pretending to be a woman? The short answer would be because they are crazy, and/or because they can Seriously, I think a lot of this behavior comes from insecurity, emotional needs not being met (sometimes these needs are impossible to meet), and the fact they crave drama and excitement...if they don't have it, they create it.

Persephoneia
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15 Sep 2009, 3:22 pm

SilverStar wrote:

You sure your not a guy pretending to be a woman?

The short answer would be because they are crazy, and/or because they can

Seriously, I think a lot of this behavior comes from insecurity, emotional needs not being met (sometimes these needs are impossible to meet), and the fact they crave drama and excitement...if they don't have it, they create it.

This is actually partially true, but I feel the need to clarify that this does not a apply to all women. -_-* Men also have needs--some men have more stereotypically (and I use that word intentionally) "feminine" needs, and some simply have needs that are a bit different.

Sure, some women can't control their emotions, but the same thing goes for men. Also, some women simply aren't terribly emotional, just like some men.

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ZEGH8578
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15 Sep 2009, 3:23 pm

Persephoneia wrote:

ZEGH8578 wrote:

its nt behaviour. they love that sh**.,
as anna says, if you dONT do it, then its wrong cus your supposed to nag and complain and rip on his hobbies.

it makes guys happy to have their hobbies ripped by their gf. NT guys that is. whom i dont understand.

Wow, I'm offended, because that is a sweeping generalization and a stereotype. Enjoy your NT bashing, though--I hope it makes you feel better about whatever's making you do it.

Moving on.

No, OP; not all women have the behaviors you listed. Actually, very few of my friends exhibit those behaviors. As I'm typing this, I see Janissy's response and whole-heartedly agree with it. Plus, many of the things you listed are usually symptoms of bigger problems within a relationship. For instance, a woman that constantly texts or calls may not trust her partner (which could be because of a variety of reasons). I'm not excusing the behaviors, but just saying that something bigger may be going on than the negative interactions between your mother and the other person.

what ARE you rambling about?
my entire post was "NT-bashing" but you liked it but was offended by it? were you offended cus i generalized women, but not offended that i generalized NT's?
and pff, piss off w implying that i must be hurting or something, now your offending me.

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Persephoneia
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15 Sep 2009, 3:37 pm

ZEGH8578 wrote:

Persephoneia wrote:

ZEGH8578 wrote:

I suppose I forgot to add an :roll:

to convey my sarcasm.

Which actually means you are now the one that's rambling. :/ And you can take your pick of whether I was offended by your ignorant generalizations of women or NT, because either would have been correct. However, now that you've replied with your drivel, I am no longer offended because I've considered the source. Troll.

Anyway! I, in general, feel it is important to differentiate between the behaviors of individuals, and the characteristics of large groups of people. It would be silly to say that everyone within a group is alike.

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Spokane_Girl

15 Sep 2009, 4:01 pm

I don't believe it's an NT thing that women do. It's a woman thing just like it's a man thing to be lazy and be slobs but I know not all of them are that way, same as women. Heck I've heard about how b*****s women are and it doesn't offend me because it's true. Even I can be a b***h. I mean we get our times of the months so it can make us moody and hard to be with.

On AS partners I found it hilarious how women were blaming men things on the AS and I was so happy when a woman stepped in and said it was a guy thing, not an AS thing. I was like "At least there is one smart woman there." Spitting in the kitchen sink for one, putting their dirty clothes in the wrong spot. I never had a problem with anyone spitting in kitchen sinks because dishes get washed in there and they go in the dishwasher so why does it matter that spit goes on them? You just rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher.

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15 Sep 2009, 4:11 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:

it's a man thing to be lazy and be slobs

Huh??? How do you work that out? Who built every building you see? Every road? Laid every inch of cable that makes the internet? Mined the fuel that keeps us warm? Built 98% of everything we call "civilization" with their labour? Disposes of the rubbish? Exploits entire continents to provide cheap food and toys for their family?

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15 Sep 2009, 4:21 pm

ManErg wrote:

Spokane_Girl wrote:

it's a man thing to be lazy and be slobs

Don't take things out of context. :roll:

Try reading her post this way:

Spokane_Girl wrote:

I don't believe it's an NT thing that women do. It's a woman thing just like it's a man thing to be lazy and be slobs but I know not all of them are that way, same as women.

For review, what does that bolded text in the quote say?

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Shebakoby
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15 Sep 2009, 4:48 pm

Janissy wrote:

I suppose because nobody's perfect, although I haven't known any women to do everything or even most of the things on the list, many women will do at least one or two at some point.

Have I ever done anything on that list with my husband? Of course! To be specific, I dragged him to things he would never have wanted to go to if he wasn't dating me (this was back when we were dating). He saw movies he didn't like and visited museums that bored him to tears. He took me to those things at my request because I wanted to do them and he wanted to spend time with me (not for nothing are chick flicks also called "date movies").

But it works both ways. I saw movies about sports that were as boring to me as chick flicks were to him. I also accompanied him to sporting events I wasn't interested in and car museums and car shows.

If it's just a one-way street it's hassling and aggravating. But if it's a two-way street, it shows that each of you will make accomodations for the other. Somebody who insists on only ever doing his/her thing and not being willing to do the other person's thing too isn't a good partner, IMO. It has to go both ways.

Some of those things are just mean- like belittling a hobby or interest. But the nagging a man to do chores or handy things- if you scratch the surface on that you will often find a woman who works full time and comes home to ALL the housework because her husband/boyfriend "doesn't like housework". I have luckily avoided that particular battle because early in our relationship my husband and I divied up areas of expertise so there are some things he always does and some things I always do and some things we both do. But if I did everything and he did nothing? Yeah. There would be a fight. And I'd be one of those women that baffle you with wondering why anyone would nag a man to do something.

Well I don't mean men that do -nothing-...but then, don't they go to work every day too and do hard work? If a man does nothing I'd ask the question of why the woman is even with them.

OH I forgot a HUGE one on my list:

-the woman, having found the IMperfect man, tries to change him.

Women should NEVER try to change a man. This will only lead to problems, fights, and eventually divorces. If he doesn't measure up in some way that annoys the heck out of the woman, why would that not be a dealbreaker? And if she's trying to 'fix' an alcoholic, bless her heart she isn't going to get anywhere even if her intentions are good.

Merle
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15 Sep 2009, 4:48 pm

Quote:

I don't understand it. I don't understand it AT ALL. Clearly these things irritate the man and cause strife in the relationship. WHY would she do it?! Especially the stuff about his hobbies (and I'm not talking about pr0nz here). I would NEVER do ANY of that to a guy...yet I'm single.

They lack power and control in the relationship. Because they are unable to control the relationship, they influence the relationship in a fashion - via nagging and whining.

Flip it around. If the guy didn't like what the girl was doing, and it was her house, he would leave "I am outta here". If it's his house, he'd boot her, "If you don't like it, why don't you clean it or leave?".

If he wants to go out and have fun and has money, he goes out and has fun, "going to hang with the guys this weekend". If it's her money, he nags for some free time "can I have some money to hang with the guys?"

Most women nag. Guys get upset. The relationship suffers. The problem is there are more women out there that nag and pester, and it eventually shows.

If you're an exception... Congratulations (are you h4wt? haha) well, it's tough to prove out because it takes time, "she is going to wig out, she is going to wig out, she is going to wig out".

Do relationships end because of this? No. But this is a factor to breakups.

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15 Sep 2009, 4:53 pm

Merle wrote:

Quote:

Eh, I don't usually wig out unless someone demands that I do something that I don't want to do. You know, like a parent would?

*shrug* Well, I'm not ugly though I do have a bit of a gut. 5'7 235-240 lb.

Spokane_Girl

15 Sep 2009, 4:55 pm

ManErg wrote:

Spokane_Girl wrote:

it's a man thing to be lazy and be slobs

Because lot of men don't help out around the house with household chores such as laundry or cooking or washing dishes or even sweeping and they tend to leave their dirty clothes all over the place or forget to bring their dirty dishes to the sink or putting them in the dishwasher. Instead they rely on the woman to do all those things. Hey women work as hard too at their jobs and they don't come home and be lazy and be slobs even though some of them are that way. So I do not buy that men are just too busy with other things like their job and paying the bills to help out around the house because if women can do it, then so can men. Some women pay bills too by writing the checks and mailing them off. Paying the bills only takes a few minutes. You just sit down and write out the checks and put them in the envelope and lick it and put a stamp on it, address it and put it aside and do the same thing with another bill and then you mail them all off when you're done. I could never understand why my parents said paying them is a lot of work and takes a while to do. I've done it and it only took me a few minutes. Both my parents paid them.

Heck if women can raise their kids and clean the house, then so can men. I just don't buy the "they have other things to do" crap and buy "they are too busy doing other things to even have time for the housework or help raising kids."

And thank you clever kitten for pointing out my words. I do wish people read everything I say or understand English. It's different if English is their second language.

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15 Sep 2009, 5:04 pm

This is like a thread on religion-instant conflagration. The only comment I wanted to make is about the withholding sex comment. It bothers me that it's always assumed that the woman is punishing the man by not wanting to have sex when she's pissed off. Consider that for her the sexual act is an expression of emotion as well as a physical release and to have sex when she's not liking you so much at the moment feels degrading to her.

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15 Sep 2009, 5:14 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:

Heh. Doing the household stuff is not considered important to a lot of guys, why? Because there's no time table attached to it.

Work is important because there's a clock ticking. Same with sports. Laundry done today, tomorrow, etc. isn't as important. Plus, you can always "make do" which isn't possible in endeavors with a deadline.

Re: Bill paying a few minutes? It depends on your living situation.

E.g. Mortgage #1 and #2, Power Gas & Electricity, Property Tax #1, #2, Magazine subscription, home owners insurance #1 & #2, vehicle registration #1, #2, etc. This isn't atypical. Most families with a vacation home or a second mortgage to pay for big purchase are going to have this. If you cannot pay all your bills off with one pay check, you will be balancing things. For most people (who live in apartments) it's no big deal.

But you do have folks who have to manage property tax (>1 paycheck occurs bi-annually or quarterly) in additional to vehicle registration (annually), auto insurance (bi-annually), and home owners insurance (yearly). If you make over $109k a year, this adds another wrinkle as your FICA adjustment steps in and you get more.

Do you own your own home? Do you have kids?

These are HUGE factors as to how long it takes to manage your bills.

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15 Sep 2009, 5:18 pm

Edit...deleted. Sorry double post.

Last edited by SilverStar on 15 Sep 2009, 5:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Persephoneia
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15 Sep 2009, 5:24 pm

Women can be b*****s. Men can be b*****s.

Men can be slobs. Women can be slobs.

The trends vary from culture to culture, but more importantly, traits will vary from person to person. "Bitchiness" is not reserved for women alone, and is quite a stereotype, in my opinion. Yes, I menstruate, too; however, I don't let it affect my behavior toward others. My entire argument isn't that my experience is the norm, but that every experience is unique, regardless of gender.

Ah... Facepalm to sexism and exclusive language, from both the penises and vaginas.

(BTW, WP isn't iPhone friendly; forgive me if for any typos or choppiness above.)

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LePetitPrince
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15 Sep 2009, 5:25 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:

ManErg wrote:

Spokane_Girl wrote:

it's a man thing to be lazy and be slobs

That all depend whether the wife is having a job or not....

If she's working then it would be so unfair if the man is not helping with household chores.

If she's not , well... then the man would do only his part of the contract.....

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