Not Forcing Stereotypes and Conventions

Post Reply New Topic

Wow, thanks!

Erm...you're forgetting the IQ and the daunting height.

An NT male I met this summer -quite by accident- decided, after I turned down his offer of a boring movie date (he'd made it clear during a few IM sessions that all he wanted to do was get into my pants, and I had zero sexual interest in the dumb, sloppy oaf), that I was "weird and boring" because of my severe social anxiety, etc. He deleted me from his roster of Arsebook "friends" soon after. Same as it ever was...

I heard this question asked by few women more than one time. So there's some truth in some stereotype after all....

I'm a little confused with this question because I've often had trouble in following conventions and stereotypes. Up until I got older I realized I felt different or didn't feel like I could identify with the "typical" female. As I got older, the pressure did get tough. I found it difficult to fit in and relate to people in general. I also grew up in an area where most kids were in the upper middle class while we were below it. So following a convention and trend was very hard for me. I was teased a lot in school especially with the clothes I wore.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is it's always been hard for me to conform and function normally like most people. Then again, there are probably people who are female and NT who also struggle with fitting within the cultural bounds of being a female. I've never really trusted stereotypes since they are usually potrayed inaccurately even though there may be some truth behind them. Take for instance D.W. Griffith's potrayal of black people. He wasn't the only directed around that time either.

Other than that, I don't feel as pressured as I did when I was a teenager to follow a certain pattern of behavior that's considered "normal". Even my taste in music has never been trendy, popular nor "in". I love a wide range of music because of how it sounds not because it's in vogue. I guess this is where the differences between following a certain pattern of conventional norms and following the beat to your own drum split.

I will say that following social structures and trying to be something I'm not would stress me to death. I've never even been good at learning the conventional way much less going by a rigid set of rules.

So you DO have guys who are sexually interested in you, you just turn them down because they're below your standards.

HAHA! That was *one* male - and the only "real-life," under-50 male who's made any sort of direct overture in years, by the way. But yes, I turn men down because I HAVE standards, toots.

Wow! Where do you live, down in a rabbit hole or something?

It's just fine to have standards, just I was thinking maybe you were no more sexually open that the typical woman, which would mean you could easily have difficulty finding partners. But if that's the only one to even express interest in years, then that's a different story. Though I might throw out my standards in that case

Oh, and by the way, why don't YOU try approaching some guys?

Huh?

No - though, as I'm currently stuck in the wilds of small-town, narrow-minded CT, I might as well be...

I'm very open-minded sexually. I'm also 6'1", man. Haven't you been paying attention? Men don't approach me at all, unless they're bold as brass, utter nutjobs (and NOT in a good way), or have nothing to lose, I guess.

Sorry, but I'm never sleeping with old, fat, homely, or extremely-short men (or any combination thereof - which is pretty much the only type of male that ever bothers with me). So it looks as though I'll remain here in the nunnery.

Because the only tall, skinny, attractive men around here happen to be in *high school*, and I'm not a paedophile.

Oh, and I also have severe social phobia.

Wow!! Considering your job situation and your dating prospects, it's a real shame that you never were able to get out of there. Rural towns are good for certain things, like scenery, often safety, etc. But it seems the bad parts have really screwed you over.

I hope that an answer comes to you soon. It seems you're in the kind of situation where either you'll continue to be stuck, or else your life will change and everything will get set straight in one huge "bang" such that you won't look back.

I'm not sure sexually open means what you think it means

Erm...I said "currently stuck" - please see/read my PM.

Yeah. See, that's what I'd hoped would happen every time I moved away from here...alas.

Well, what did you think it means. I meant, willing to be physically intimate (in some way, not necessarily full-out sex) with a large proportion of men, and with relatively few conditions as to the type of relationship.