My thoughts on modern dating.

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I stand by the unlikelihood of you having casual sex with your female friends. Everything is possible given how many people there are, but some things are more likely than others.

There are plenty of women who have flings with men they are merely attracted to and won't ever really love and women who have one night stands with men for a myriad of reasons; getting back at an ex, instant attraction that dissipates in the morning, alcohol.

But since that is so far out of the norm it's pretty unlikely.

A big part of it is the awkwardness. After sex, it is very hard for women to just carry on with a man as though nothing has happened.

Thus the appeal of the man she doesn't know all that well- the friend of a friend.

There is no right way or wrong way to treat sex, as long as all parties involved are on the same page.

Way to many ethics & morality here.

Have some fun.

Don't knock acting like a pig til you've tried it.

From what I've seen in real life (a very long life, though of course I haven't met everyone) and heard about and read about, when a woman has sex with a man she will never love it is generally either because the relationship burns out before it deepens into love or it's an encounter with a man she doesn't know terribly well. Your friends who are women? They aren't just going to hop in the sack with you and then hop back out again. Well, they might. But since that is so far out of the norm it's pretty unlikely.

Chill out.

and no, that's not even close to what I said. I said most people have sex, and love might come later if it comes at all. I never said sex automatically means the people will fall in love.





Explain to me how I am supposedly the cynical one. therange is over there calling all men pigs in a derrogatory fashion.

I'd like to see how you reconcile that.

But are there women that would go from friend to lover? I'm not talking about casual sex, but developing a relationship from a friendship... because that is seeming less and less likely as time goes on...

But are there women that would go from friend to lover? I'm not talking about casual sex, but developing a relationship from a friendship... because that is seeming less and less likely as time goes on...

Certainly. I've done it myself. I was friends with a boy in highschool for many months before we started dating. And there are several female posters who have described having a relatinship happen that way. And I've seen it lots of times with people I've known over the years.

But it isn't happening to you. So something is going on. Something that I don't think we on the board are equipped to parse out because it probably involves body language or demeanor or "vibe" or some other intangible that needs to be seen in real life to be analyzed.

Clearly you have what it takes to make women feel comfortable around you, so you aren't plagued with the dreaded "creepy" factor.

What's missing is that "zing" that makes friendship deepen into something more. Perhaps you are giviong off an asexual vibe, or seem too needy. I can't tell just from posts. You are going to have to enlist the help of a (male) friend that sees you in real life to figure out this one.

douchebaggery

I dont know about that then, never heard of people who first have sex, and then fall in love.

I stand by the unlikelihood of you having casual sex with your female friends. Everything is possible given how many people there are, but some things are more likely than others. There are plenty of women who have flings with men they are merely attracted to and won't ever really love and women who have one night stands with men for a myriad of reasons; getting back at an ex, instant attraction that dissipates in the morning, alcohol. What seems rather more rare is your dream woman who has sex with her male friends. Although she must surely exist somehwere (every type of sexual variation exists somewhere) she's not as ubiquitous as you seem to be hoping. From what I've seen in real life (a very long life, though of course I haven't met everyone) and heard about and read about, when a woman has sex with a man she will never love it is generally either because the relationship burns out before it deepens into love or it's an encounter with a man she doesn't know terribly well. Your friends who are women? They aren't just going to hop in the sack with you and then hop back out again. Well, they might. But since that is so far out of the norm it's pretty unlikely.

edited to add: let me put it this way- if there was a woman amongst the women you know who has sex with her male friends just for casual kicks and not looking for anything particularly meaningful other than a good time with a guy she knows, you would already know it by now. What seems a doomed effort is trying to sell women who want no part of that. If you want a one night stand with a party girl, don't look amongst the women you already know. If any of them did that, you wouldn't be on here wondering why they don't. A party girl is more likely to have her one night stand with somebody who is at least one degree of separation from her; a friend of a friend, for example. Not always, but again, if you knew any women with the "sleep with my guy friends" preference...you wouldn't be posting on here. A big part of it is the awkwardness. After sex, it is very hard for women to just carry on with a man as though nothing has happened. Thus the appeal of the man she doesn't know all that well- the friend of a friend. She won't have to go back to normal everyday friend interactions with him and pretend the sex didn't happen. Sex changes everything- at least for most women it does.

If you want a party girl you have to go to parties. Or nightclubs. Or bars. Or any other place where there are umpteen young people having a noisy good time. A girl who wants to get crazy is not going to be hanging on the margins. She's going to be right in the thick of things.

I cant really agree with the points raised in that article... just because I see sex as a very emotionally intimate act means I'm a "boring" guy that "doesn't like to have fun"?

I don't understand what's so casual about two people taking off their clothes and doing the mating dance together? Sex was meant for two purposes: procreation and for two lovers to express themselves.