Well, it finally might happen.

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Well I changed my mind. Can't believe I was even considering this. Casual sex with someone I'm not attracted to would be going against everything I stand for. Writing more in a new post.

I thought you were attracted to her? Make your bloody mind up

Yes but you're not NT are you? I was talking about therange and his cougar remember

Of course I'm not NT! That's part of the reason why I don't give a rat's arse what anyone - including family - would think of anyone I might "bring home."

I'm a "cougar" as well, at least in today's idiotic parlance. I've never thought of myself as such, though, because I've never really been interested in older men.

I don't understand why ppl want to lose virginity anyway. Once you lose it you can't get it back. So that should be a readson NOT to have sex ... unless you really really want to to the point that it becomes worht it to lose a virginity. But still you have to want it REALLY badly because sex will only last for a period of time, but virginity will be lost forever.

See this post: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt86324.html

I think it most of it besides it being natural comes from cultural and social pressures. When I was in school there was a lot of this labeling about anyone who hadn't lost their virginity yet although it depended on the said gender and situation but you could definitely feel that it was one of the most dominating factors within social pressures.

But yeah....I've never understood it either....

When I saw a movie "where the heart is" they have represented lost virginity by a torn teddy bear, when the father raped the kids. So, ever since that, I feel sorry for virginity or it being lost.

As far as social pressure, it just means that the teddy bear is hated for no reasdon. If they all hate teddy bear, OF COURSE they will put pressure on you to kill it, or make fun of you if you didn't. But wouldn't this make you feel even sorrier for that teddy bear, since everyone hate it for no reason. Don't you see how that teddy bear cries because of all this hatred that ppl have towards it? Wouldn't this, alone, make you want to COMFORT that teddy bear, and cherrish it, rather than kill it? Wouldn't that make you want to be virgin to make a safe home for that teddy bear that is hated by everyone?

That teddy bear also reminds me of my ex, Jennifer. The relationship lasted for almost two years, but only first half a yaer was for me. Ever since she got sick half a year into relationship, I decided to stay for her, because I felt sorry for her. I would have left her long ago if it wasn't for that. But then, after she got sick, she lost all her friends. Her own family didn't fully understand her. And she got into trouble in school because of being sick for a long time. As a result, she became depressed. While depressed, one thing she said was "I am so lonely". I remember it forever.

Well, don't you hear that teddy bear say "I am so lonely", since it is hated so much by everyone, that everyone wants to get rid of it? That torn teddy bear reminded me of Jennifer who was suffering. I really hope that kid kept teddy bear even after it was torn. I certainly would not throw it away if I was that kid.

They probably won't match up simply because the odds are against it. Yes, people win the lottery, but figuring out your 'ideal' this early on is simply not realistic



I doubt that. Too many analogies to drug use, marijuana and premarital sex leading to 'indecent' behavior to name. Basically, this one action doesn't define or dictate who you are.



You're simply nervous/anxious. Happens to many people, but expresses differently.



Wonder how the 48 y/o is going to take it.

I don't want to have sex because of the pressures of society. I want it because I want to experience what it's like, preferably when you're in love with someone, or at the very least, when you find someone very attractive and feel like you're on a similar page as them, even if not the same exact page.

The 48 year old milf offered neither of these. Of course, I didn't word it to her like that. I told her I was waiting for someone special and closer to my age. She took it fine and wished me good luck.

I understand.

However, in many other aspects of life, people practice. Driver training is on PoS cars. Skiing is on bunny slopes and rental ski's. Pilots practice in simulators and single engine planes. Soldiers train maneuvers and use targets before fighting.

However, relationships are different. First loves, first marriages, first times are all considered 'special' even though they're awkward, painful and prone to mistakes. People second guess performance and generally think about the techniques (hand goes where? who's on top? too soon, too slow?).

Do women expect their prince charmings to be awkward virgins? Do men?



Good

For me, having sex with someone I don't have feelings for would be dually bad...would not be enjoyable, and would get attached since sexual activity is more than a handshake for me.

I can attest to this from firsthand experience: I had a couple of one-night stands several years ago, with guys I felt nothing for (they were acquaintances). To say the sex was lackluster would be an understatement.

The thing is, I've come to grips recently with the stark reality that I'm probably destined to be alone. Years of solitude, combined with online friendships that have frustratingly-little chance of turning into anything "real" have given me a different perspective on the notion of "relationships." I can no longer logically entertain the notion of one person as the be-all and end-all of everything. I'm often attracted to guys' minds/personalities but not their faces/bodies, and vice-versa; in a "perfect world," I'd probably be polyamorous. In this highly-flawed version, however, I haven't had so much as a date in the last 3 years. I miss the sex most of all; it's definitely not just a "handshake" for me, either, but this life of involuntary celibacy is killing me. If a young(ish) dude who didn't utterly repulse me were to proposition me at some point, I'd probably take him up on his offer.

Well, some cant help their locale. LA 2019 has only one guy that women seem to want, so i can understand the slim pickins.

Meh. I'd have gone for the deranged, homicidal, brilliant Batty over Deckard, probably...

Still limited to 2 choices out of who knows how many. ><

Erm, that's 2 more choices than I've got in "real life," ffs.

Well, wish i knew what to tell you. I know a lot of us are picky about what we find in a companion, myself included. A lot of our issues could be pickiness and unintentional shallowness, likely influenced by societal factors. Of they guys in your area, how many are of acceptable age, responsible (of themselves and their choices), and share interests similar to yours. Granted, this is advice id have to take too, but its just observations and id have no way of knowing where to go to meet available singles along those lines (emphasis on available). The "Perfect" person doenst exist, everyone has a fault, ourselves included (other than our ASD dx). On the bright side, we at least know at least one of our issues, and work well with it. Why not keep your eyes open for someone who knows his fault and it hasnt been dragged down by it . . .