FaithHopeCheese
Veteran
Joined: 17 Oct 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 534
Location: I think I'm lost
18 Oct 2009, 7:18 pm
BlueMage wrote:
3. If you are going to settle for someone you are not in love with, pick someone who is not an alcoholic, aim for someone rich. 
Be practical, woman!
4. A relationship isn't going to save you from feeling lonely. Loneliness does not come from being alone, it comes from feeling like you don't have a place in the world. The messed-up way society is makes practically everyone feel alone or lonely. The hero in a story is often lonely, see yourself as a hero.
5. Don't tell yourself that this or that is "never" going to happen. That's a self-fullfilling prophecy. You found one boyfriend, you are bound to find another one eventually.
6. You said "I spend my evenings googling whatever my obsession is which changes every few month's or so but I am content with this". Obviously, from the rest of your post, No you are not content with this. You just don't think there is anything better and that is your only choice. Don't be content. Demand more, be angry and upset until you find a place that makes you ecstatic and love every moment of your life.
I know it's hard, but you should try to meet new people. I guess you're here, and that's a step. The world is a big place full all sorts of opportunities. Instead of just googling your interests, go out and meet people who share them, or at least do something "physical". Go running in the park, shop for things that interest you, build things with your hands and sell them on ebay.
You need to find your inner strength, your self-esteem. Life is hard and changing is hard, give yourself credit for what you have accomplished and what you endure. So you don't have a nobel prize or anything prestigious like that, those are just superficial things. Just making it through the day, that's an accomplishment. Pay attention to and appreciate the little lessons life is teaching you. The solutions to your problems are not easy, and take time to work through, and it's not your fault, but because they are hard.
Be practical, woman!4. A relationship isn't going to save you from feeling lonely. Loneliness does not come from being alone, it comes from feeling like you don't have a place in the world. The messed-up way society is makes practically everyone feel alone or lonely. The hero in a story is often lonely, see yourself as a hero.
5. Don't tell yourself that this or that is "never" going to happen. That's a self-fullfilling prophecy. You found one boyfriend, you are bound to find another one eventually.
6. You said "I spend my evenings googling whatever my obsession is which changes every few month's or so but I am content with this". Obviously, from the rest of your post, No you are not content with this. You just don't think there is anything better and that is your only choice. Don't be content. Demand more, be angry and upset until you find a place that makes you ecstatic and love every moment of your life.
I know it's hard, but you should try to meet new people. I guess you're here, and that's a step. The world is a big place full all sorts of opportunities. Instead of just googling your interests, go out and meet people who share them, or at least do something "physical". Go running in the park, shop for things that interest you, build things with your hands and sell them on ebay.
You need to find your inner strength, your self-esteem. Life is hard and changing is hard, give yourself credit for what you have accomplished and what you endure. So you don't have a nobel prize or anything prestigious like that, those are just superficial things. Just making it through the day, that's an accomplishment. Pay attention to and appreciate the little lessons life is teaching you. The solutions to your problems are not easy, and take time to work through, and it's not your fault, but because they are hard.
3. Trust me, I have considered this as a viable option.
4. When I was younger I had a romantic, whimsical view of myself as the heroine, but started working 9-5 and lost that feeling
Also, my brother died several years ago, so I have taken on a more pragmatic view of life. I don't want to be a concern for my parents and am trying my best to conform.
5. I used to have high expectations for a relationship, but after several tumultuous relationships, I've kind of given up hope. I'm kind of a difficult person to be around. Really, I should say it's hard for ME to be around *normal* people.... and that's really all I've got around me except for one friend. She feels isolated as well, but she tends to cling to me, so I have to have boundaries. That is actually a lot of my problem; boundaries. - My current boyfriend is extremely typical, but is a very accepting and loving person, which is probably the real reason I stay....but we our differences cause too many fights, imo.
6. I am in the "coping" phase of my life. My sister is moving back to my area soon, so that will probably help, a lot.
Your comments have been very helpful.
