Me and my Thai wife

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I've never been there, but I understand that Pattaya is a rather ritzy, touristy area, which is why I didn't go there. Lots of prostitutes (like everywhere else in Thailand), lots of wealthy foreign men, and probably lots of very available beautiful young ladies (also like everywhere else in Thailand).

Anyway, it is a great place to go and have a really great time.

I'm sure that she was sending money to her parents even from her meager waitressing salary.

I know someone who married a Thai woman who is much younger than him. Nothing inherently wrong with it.

/care
That picture still explains everything : /

But if i really must explain, here is why i find it so stupid.

Yes, it's not rare that one usualy sends money to help the others family.
But Sorry to burst your bubble, but in my eyes, she is only with you because you aresending her family money.
She is basicly an escort/prostitute.
Try stop sending them money for some months and see just how it will go. I'm pretty sure your beloved wife will leave or do something else.

So back on topic, your basicly paying her to be with you, thats what i see, and THAT is why, that picture explains everything

If Thailand has so many of these women who are farming themselves out to the highest rich foreign bidders effectively as live-in prostitutes, you'd have to imagine that there are going to be about an equal number of Thai men who are unhappy about this. This whole thing seems so shady on so many levels.

That's not what marriage is supposed to be, right? But even if you don't go looking abroad for a wife, you still have to be careful to avoid the ones who are just in it for the money.

I don't know, but I think that most Thai men don't care. Maybe more American and European women should try to hook up with Thai men, if things are that uneven (which I don't think they are--the number of Thai women marrying foreigners is probably a lot smaller than the number of Thai women marrying other Thais).

Being doted over by a beautiful, exotic oriental woman is probably a common fantasy among US and European men. And, being pampered by a wealthy foreign husband may be a similarly common fantasy among rural Thai women.

So, at least the fantasies are complementary.

When I was in Thailand, I quickly learned that you do not go into a Thai taxi, pedicab, or prostitute without FIRST negotiating the price--otherwise, you will certainly be taken for a ride.

Probably a good prenuptial agreement, which also specifies how much the in-laws are going to get, would be quite prudent.

Seeing how gold-digging can happen over here as easily as it can happen anywhere else, I don't see why looking somewhere else is such a bad idea. I've seen domestic marriages fail even with the guy giving his money away, and I'm pretty sure that currency from any developed nation carries more weight in Thailand, I can't imagine having to spend more money maintaining a foreign marriage. What I find crazy is the idea that you have to marry for love. An unstable emotion becoming the foundation for a lifelong relationship. I like this concept much better, both partners are relatively honest about the transaction. One wants a sexually appealing partner and possibly more attractive offspring, the other wants a higher standard of living. I mean that's the status quo in the U.S. too, but explain it in those terms and someone will get offended for being called a prostitute or a sucker.

Kinda gotta agree about the stuff pandabear said. If it works and they're happy, then maybe it's a good relationship.

Whenever I read about stuff like that, I always see comments about how it "works better if the man lets the woman pursue her own career too." In order for that to be specified, I'm thinking it must mean that a lot of men who marry foreign women don't want their wives to work outside the home? So if that was the agreement at the beginner, of course it makes sense that he would support her. And it's not like taking care of a home doesn't involve work. Point being that different couples do it differently, but that doesn't mean that one way is wrong.

Isn't the big important thing making each other happy? People do that in different ways.
You could also claim that the whole institution of marriage is a form of live-in prostitution, but that doesn't make it true.
There have been a lot of magazine articles on the topic lately.. is kinda strange.

BTW, I'm not so much commenting on this thread specifically as the topic in general.

The difference is not in whether gold digging happens in Western countries like the US vs. in Thailand. The difference is the consequences for the gold-digger for not doing it.

One thing you absolutely have to take into account when it comes to going to third-world countries to find mates, is that the vast majority of the population lives in poverty... and I'm not talking like the poverty you see in the cities of industrialized nations, I'm talking about rural poverty where your home is a bamboo hut, and your house as well as any crops and possessions you have can get swept away with every typhoon. Even in the cities of southeast Asia, the poverty you see is not like the poverty in America. In addition the political, economic, and infrastructural climate isn't nearly as stable, strong, or well-developed as it is throughout much of the Western world, making opportunities for socioeconomic advancement much more scarce. So taking all of that into account, what one must recognize is a serious risk of an exploitative relationship, where the more affluent guy has considerable financial power over the wife. While exploitation can happen in any relationship with a large financial imbalance, it is made much more serious if the woman has no choice but to comply or be sent home and be relegated to a life of third-world poverty. Gold diggers in the US are well off by comparison.

While that's true.. gold-diggers in the US are also going to want more. We're talking about countries were people think you're rich if you can afford Pringles. (Yes, I mean the potato chips.) The entire cost of that little hut is going to be less than the cost of one designer bag.

Seconded.

My point is that life in poverty in Southeast Asia is a lot more painful and difficult than life in the US without 1 designer bag, even though a designer bag costs much more than the building materials for a hut. A designer bag is a luxury; a little hut is not. Also, although a hut might be cheap to us (factoring in exchange rates), it is not so cheap to a citizen of that country who earns the wages corresponding to that country.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFnYO3Tzeqk&feature=fvw[/youtube]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFnYO3Tzeqk&feature=fvw

What I meant is that to help support one's family in southeast Asia doesn't take massive amounts of money, and that particularly in a culture where it's expected that children help to support their parents, it's not totally unreasonable to send those parents money.
If the relationship works well, if they make each other happy, if they are open about what they want and need out of the relationship and are both okay with what the other wants and needs out of the relationship, then where's the harm? And if a man with who makes enough money to support his wife wants her to work in the home, and that's okay with her, then it's not like she's not doing her part. Different people want different things out of relationships, but if there's common ground and understanding of the desires and expectations of the other, and both parties can meet those expectations and find them reasonable.. well, good for them.

Edit: If the alternative is that the guy would be alone and unhappy and that the woman would be poverty-stricken in southeast Asia.. isn't the arrangement described better than that?

Not if it makes other people jealous. (just kidding).

By the way, I've lived abroad, and I think that people who live in others countries and with fewer possessions are often happier and less neurotic than most of the people who live in the USA.

Sometimes, people in other countries regard the USA as a paradise of wealth and luxury, which it really isn't.

Okay, we do have some advantages, but, for the most part, people in this country are nuts.

EDIT:

I glanced through pertinent books on Amazon. There are several out there.

This one: http://www.amazon.com/Butterfly-Thailan ... rid_pt_2_1
is 100% true.

I don't like, it sounds like a relationship that has been paid for rather than earned, it doesn't sound anything like love. It is just so stupid. I'm not interested in sort of relationship, it feels much like kinda feeling I get from using online dating sties which I simply refuse to use because I see how many girls looking for guys 18-80 which is just ****ing obvious that they are just gold diggers. Not interested and for the rest of use asperger men I suggest you do the same.

If you've paid for it, then haven't you earned it? After all, you've earned your money, haven't you? Don't you deserve to buy what you want, including relationships?