Why do people...

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That's terrible and thats wonderful that you got away from him in the end. You should be patting yourself on the back for that. It wouldn't have been easy if you were really into them.

You misunderstood me.

What you are talking about is total control, and what im talking about is someone feeling threatened if they spend a ridiculous amount of time with a single person of the opposite sex.

You don't have to cut them off, and cutting someone off is absolutely wrong. But there is also an unhealthy amount of time to be seeing someone of the opposite sex whose single if you are in a relationship.

Sorry but it is ridiculous. Saying they're not real friends because you see less of them is often completely untrue. It's just the nature of being in an exclusive relationship with someone.

Just because they don't see you as much doesn't mean they drop you as a friend. Generally most people in relationships mainly spend time with their partner.

If someone feels jealous because their wife spends half her waking time with some single man, it's not an insecurity issue that is his fault, it's natural.

I'm not saying this is right or easy on the people who have to deal with seeing less of them, but its just the way things go. I have been given the bumsrush all my life when friends get into relationships and its not a nice feeling.

You're welcome to call my opinions ridiculous whenever you want, it's your opinion. its the nature of it, an opinion

^^ ok well I don't see where Tim Tex was talking about spending less time with friends in favour of a partner so I obviously wasn't talking about that. surely you would see your friends less, that's the nature of days being 24-hr long I guess, there's just never enough time for everyone I was talking about cutting people off completely which I find to be pure bastardry and a reason not to feel sorry about losing a friend who kicked you in the butt like that.

Yeah I guess I was at fault there. I assumed he meant someone spending less time with their friends but he may literally mean that someone wants nothing to do with them at all. If thats the case you're right, if you can't find ANY time for your friends then you won't keep them and for good reason.

I was referring to people who block said friends from IM, and delete their e-mails without reading them.

In other words, if one of the friends tries to contact them out of concern, she will act if he is a stalker, rather than a concerned friend.

For the records, I have no problems with people having friends of the opposite sex when in relationships. If I were in a relationship, I would allow her to retain all her friends regardless of their gender/relationship status. I don't feel threatened at all. In fact, I have quite a few female friends, including an ex-girlfriend, who I would retain if I had a girlfriend.

Do they ignore you in real life? Or is it only some internet person?

Internet, but I have met said person IRL before, but we got separated due to distance.

How do you know they even delete them without reading them?


The same thing happened with one of my internet friends. He was talking to this girl and then she all of a sudden disappeared and Katrina had occurred. Well he got worried that something maybe happened and she did live down south. He figured maybe she was effected by the hurricane so he emailed her, called her, and stuff like that. Then on a website he was seeing her saying he is a stalker and all. I could not believe she act that way. OMG, that's what happens when you block someone. Your friend you blocked can get very concerned about you and if you have given them your phone number, they will keep calling you to see if you are alright or to see how you are doing. But stalking? Give me a break. It's stalking if they have been informed they don't want them to talk to them or call them but they keep on doing it.

I heard that sometimes women stay in abusive relationships because they like the attention. They somehow think that the fact the guy is focusing on her and treating her badly and hurting her then they like them and are doing it to try and "fix" them.

Many years back my stepsister was seeing a guy that treated her like this. I asked her why she lets him do that to her and she told me that she liked it when guys treat her like crap. I thought that was messed up that someone would not only put up with abuse, but enjoy it.

That was years ago, my stepsister is no longer like that.

God you're really screwed up in your ideas, arent you? Always turn it around to make it the womans fault.

I NEVER said that it was the womens fault or condone abuse. But I have heard that in long term abusive reltionships, sometimes the women starts to think this way. It never makes it right or justifys abuse. But thats what I have heard and read about why some women stay in these type of reltionships. Many times the women feels they have no options.

That is horrible!
I've been in the situation of being concerned over a missing friend, and it was bad enough without that twist about stalking. I imagine it would be near impossible to cope with that.

She accused me of not letting her know what's going on, when I most certainly did. I e-mailed her about what was going on, and if she actually read them, she would have known. In the couple of months prior to dating this guy, she was secretive about stuff herself.

Um, no, what's responsible for the "nice guys vs. jerks" thing is that "nice" is a generic term that doesn't actually mean much, so usually describing somebody as "nice" means that there's not much interesting to say about them. "Nice" is just not a very descriptive word. It's like "fine."

This isn't about "nice guy syndrome" at all. And this could also apply to guys who stay with abusive female partners, or to same-sex relationships.

The only reason I can think of is that the person being abused/manipulated/disrespected is afraid that leaving the partner in question would bring worse consequences than staying (i.e. fear of never meeting anyone else, being homeless/broke, etc.)

You've never been in love, have you?

Look you people who think people can fall out of love at the drop of a hat because people have awful qualities just don't know. Maybe instead of posting this over and over again in here, actually read the replies people have made and take them seriously.