Not being shallow

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Really, intellectual attraction?
I just want to shag.
Intellect is Innerlichkeit.

Nope, still wrong. And more importantly, I am talking about the majority of men, not a minority. I was being a smart-ass, ripping off a Jeff Foxworthy joke when I said that, but it's not far from the truth.



Yeah, there are guys like that out there, probably quite a few, but that is totally unrelated to what I was saying. For the majority of normal relationships, nothing is viewed as "meaningless stuff", and being together is a wonderful thing. I also believe that.

But, there isn't a guy out there(aside from the exceptions. work with me.lol) who doesn't find physical beauty desirable, and appealing. The truth is, that a guy will look for women of the highest beauty that they are capable of attracting, and being compatible with, at the same time. If they tell you otherwise, then that's because either....A)physical qualities, B) Personality, or C) insecurities, are keeping them from pursuing 'more beauty'. They have reached their potential, and are content with that. That's why most couples that you see, are pretty well 'balanced', physically.

Anyone who claims otherwise, is lying, or in denial.

Being attracted to physical beauty is not shallow in itself. Shallowness is no more male than it is female.

Really the problem is people talking in obscure metaphors, because the something must be wrong with "other people", but they haven't actually figure what it is they want to say about them.

There are a number of things attributed to shallowness, but these can be contradictory. Simplistic males don’t have the ability to concoct some sort facade.

...and if they are attracted to a facade then it takes two to tango.

Besides what constitutes what is acceptable? Should we strip down warts and all?

Yeah maybe, I wouldn't call that a proper relationship though. Its one not worth having.

Again, I don't agree. A lot of men will choose someone who is less attractive that they can connect to better over somoene pretty/cute/hot that they can connect to to a degree.

Unless you're talking about two people of exact equal compatibility where one is better looking than the other?



Never said it was. I'm extremely picky, but it's not about looks.

TBH if someone is "picky" about looks and doesn't date someone who they would otherwise like BECAUSE of the looks...that is shallow.

But we can't help who we are physically attracted to.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 14 Nov 2009, 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Who do you think you are?

Actually, you are agreeing with me, you just aren't admitting it.

That would depend on where you would draw the line. There has to be physical attraction there on some degree. Or at the very least you can't be completely repulsed.

I would say those that go only on looks are about as likely as those that are only attracted to personality. It just might not be as obvious to them or others that they have other requirements. Maybe it is some peoples' view a person may be attracted to an "anti personality" so when it turns out that the love interest has a "personality" they run for the hills. However an "anti personality" is still a personality, regardless of what people think. If they really didn’t care about personality it wouldn’t be an issue.

Personally I don’t see someone on the street, and think they are hot. I could care less about celebrities. I tend to ignore, only start to fancy people I’ve got to know a bit. However that doesn’t mean that those that do are shallow, because majority of people who are capable of that.

Maybe the shallowness you notice here is really cluelessness about what to expect. Expectations are often based on experience and exposure. If their knowledge comes from movies and idle talk, then they are not going to appear very deep.