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i.e. find something in which you love the process as much as the goal? I think you're right.

Hope, you're right. It's like I've retired at age 26, and too much of anything (isolation in this case) isn't a good thing.

I think I mentioned in another thread about how my family intends to move in the next few years and how even if I have my own place by then, it will be close to where they live. We went on a vacation to Kennebunk, Maine twice over the summer, and while not it may not sound exotic, it was just what I needed. It showed me that there are other places in the world than my disastrous hometown that I've lived in my whole life.

Yes, life isn't a vacation, that's not my point. My point is that sometimes a drastic change, such as a move, is needed to get things going. I don't have the luxury at the moment. I have to try to make the best out of the situation I'm in now. The only things I can think of that would make me happy, other than moving or seeing more of the country and travelling, is like I said, forming this band and getting a girlfriend. I want a girlfriend, not to make my life complete, but as attractive female company and someone to talk to and be romantic with. And I don't think that's asking a lot. The problem is that there will be times where I'm down in the dumps and need to have someone to talk to about serious things, and I would be there for her too if she needed someone to talk to, so it's not like it's one-sided. I get the impression that a lot of women at this age really aren't looking for that and just want "fun" 24/7.

I don't think you're asking a lot either, range - I really don't. My concern is that if you follow the path you're on, you won't get the outcome you're hoping for. I hate the thought of you postponing achievement of your goals for a few more years (until you move) - because you're clearly not happy now. Why continue to nurture the unhappiness in your life? What if something happens, and you don't move....or the move is postponed? Why accept the kind of pain you're in for years to come?

While I think techstep has given you some excellent advice, I'd just like to reiterate my point that you need to get started. Love grows, you know? You may not love something the first time you try it, but as techstep said, sometimes you just get involved in an activity and it grows on you. So you may think today that music is the only thing you like, but how many activities, hobbies, organizations, etc. have you tried? I think you're thinking of trying new things more like a marriage instead of a courtship, you know? You don't have to love something before you even participate....you can try it on for size, see if it works for you, if it makes you feel good - the same concept of dating someone before you get married.

I know you're concerned about how other people will respond to you, so why not try something with animals? Volunteering at your local animal shelter could be a wonderful experience for you. After all, you've got what those animals need - kindness, understanding, affection - and they really need it. You could even do dog walking - that would get you out of the house every day, you wouldn't have to deal with weird co-workers, you'd make a little money, and you'd meet some nice animals who would probably make you a little happier....maybe give you something to look forward to.

I think you mentioned something about liking computers a while back....so let me drop a little IT analogy on you. It's like you've written a program that produces the result of "A," but what you really want is a result of "B." So even though you desperately want to see the program produce "B" - you refuse to change a line of code to produce the "B." The same input is going to produce the same outcome....you can want to see a "B" with your whole heart and soul, but as long as you keep feeding the same inputs, nothing will change - you're always going to see that "A."

Seriously range, I really hope you'll try to do something different. It may not work for you immediately - you may not like or stick with the first thing you try - but I guarantee you that making the effort will provide you with a sense of accomplishment - and that sense of accomplishment will make you feel better.

I'm not into computers, just really into surfing the net, but I understand your analogy and I know I need to try something different if I want to get results. You were also right in one of your other messages, that even though there are a lot of things I'm not good at, deep down I'm not happy with this early retirement and want to find something I'm good at and enjoy doing.