17 Jan 2010, 1:12 am
Wow Makuranoshi, your response sent my mind on a philosophical rampage. 
Sometimes I wonder if the good and bad qualities in a person can really be separated. For instance, the man who is the subject of my posts is not materialistic at all, which is something I value. However, his non-materialistic attitude does not motivate him to become employed, and employment is something I also value in a potential mate. On the other hand, he is very sweet which can be separated from almost all of his other qualities. Then again, maybe not... And if someone's bad qualities are erased, how much do they remain themselves? For instance, the man who is the subject of my posts lacks some intelligence. If I were to erase his non-intelligence, that would be more like adding something (intelligence).
You did get me thinking! I'm not sure if I would stay with him if all his bad qualities were reduced or erased. I have a feeling it won't work out between us though. 
Thank you for the interesting advice and mental exercise.
21 Jan 2010, 2:23 pm
Well, I broke up with him last night. 
I'm not saying I'm happy, although I know it was the right decision. He took it surprisingly well. He said, "I know I'm not in the best position to have a girlfriend right now. I'm not boyfriend material yet." I emphasized to him that I do still want to be friends, and that I wasn't just saying it because it's a typical break-up thing to say. He's an awesome person, he just isn't the right person for me to be romantically involved with. We drove around and talked for a while, and then we watched a movie at my place. Then his sister (who's also my friend) told me "you took him to your PLACE after you dumped him? You clearly don't know how to break up with someone!" Lol, aspie blunder I guess. However, she supports me and agrees with me that we were a bad match.
For some reason my break-ups are always strangely diplomatic. I wonder if that's dysfunctional. I also realize that I've broken up with every single boyfriend I've had since I started high school, not the other way around. I'm not writing this to brag; I've been rejected by potential romantic partners in other ways. I just wonder why I'M always the one to initiate break-ups. Maybe I need to be more selective before I get into a relationship.
21 Jan 2010, 5:08 pm
21 Jan 2010, 5:14 pm
21 Jan 2010, 5:37 pm
21 Jan 2010, 5:55 pm
I'm not saying I'm happy, although I know it was the right decision. He took it surprisingly well. He said, "I know I'm not in the best position to have a girlfriend right now. I'm not boyfriend material yet." wow that took alot of humility for him to say something like that and he does have self-awareness. So maybe when he gets it together, solidly...
21 Jan 2010, 7:04 pm
I'm not saying I'm happy, although I know it was the right decision. He took it surprisingly well. He said, "I know I'm not in the best position to have a girlfriend right now. I'm not boyfriend material yet." I emphasized to him that I do still want to be friends, and that I wasn't just saying it because it's a typical break-up thing to say. He's an awesome person, he just isn't the right person for me to be romantically involved with. We drove around and talked for a while, and then we watched a movie at my place. Then his sister (who's also my friend) told me "you took him to your PLACE after you dumped him? You clearly don't know how to break up with someone!" Lol, aspie blunder I guess. However, she supports me and agrees with me that we were a bad match. Hope you're ok. Break ups are never easy, but that's great that you are still friends.
I'm not writing this to brag; I've been rejected by potential romantic partners in other ways. I just wonder why I'M always the one to initiate break-ups. .Are you perhaps drawn to quiet shy types? There's nothing wrong with that, but in my experience and from observation, they tend to be too passive or scared to initiate break ups themselves, so that might be why it's always you giving the talk.
Also, if you are go-getting and ambitious than they are, they may be less inclined to change the status quo.
I don't know about being more selective, but I think it's really important to chose people with the same values as you. No matter how sweet they are, if your attitude to life is too different, it may cause problems.
that's my 2 cents anyway...
21 Jan 2010, 7:09 pm
22 Jan 2010, 12:38 am
Also Tim Tex, just because someone says they're doing something doesn't make it true, you can't just swallow everything someone says.
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Don't.
They'll stab you from behind in the dark.
Geez. I didn't realize I'd start one of those "you can trust people" or "you can't trust people" debates!
In my opinion, it isn't as black and white as all that. Most people you can trust sometimes. There is hardly anyone you can trust with your soul, yet there's hardly anyone who is trying to fool you all the time. I tend to be skeptical about most people, but I also search for their good qualities.
22 Jan 2010, 12:44 am
Also Tim Tex, just because someone says they're doing something doesn't make it true, you can't just swallow everything someone says.
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Don't.
They'll stab you from behind in the dark.
Geez. I didn't realize I'd start one of those "you can trust people" or "you can't trust people" debates!
In my opinion, it isn't as black and white as all that. Most people you can trust sometimes. There is hardly anyone you can trust with your soul, yet there's hardly anyone who is trying to fool you all the time. I tend to be skeptical about most people, but I also search for their good qualities.Im sorry, it was more about me, than you. Stuff has been happening to me lately thats made me not trust anyone. I shouldn't have let it get to me enough to bring it into your thread.
22 Jan 2010, 12:38 pm
Also Tim Tex, just because someone says they're doing something doesn't make it true, you can't just swallow everything someone says.
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Don't.
They'll stab you from behind in the dark.
Geez. I didn't realize I'd start one of those "you can trust people" or "you can't trust people" debates!
In my opinion, it isn't as black and white as all that. Most people you can trust sometimes. There is hardly anyone you can trust with your soul, yet there's hardly anyone who is trying to fool you all the time. I tend to be skeptical about most people, but I also search for their good qualities.Im sorry, it was more about me, than you. Stuff has been happening to me lately thats made me not trust anyone. I shouldn't have let it get to me enough to bring it into your thread.
It's kewl. I hope people stop being douchnozzles to you soon.
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