How can I get an aspie guy know I am interested?

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Personally I disagree... group stuff was always better for me than one-on-one (as long as I knew most of the people in the group) because it meant I didn't have to be actively engaged in the talking and listening at the same time... i could just listen and gather information without straining myself to do both...

If you want to get something personal out of him then i`d definitely recommend going just the two of you. Groups are great; to hide in

Two words: BE BLUNT!

You're being incredibly subtle, I don't know how anyone could notice this. Just ask him out and be blunt. Don't be subtle in asking him out, either.

I'm just saying, in my experience, you can overload him if you're not careful.

If you're set on taking him some place, definitely go to a quiet restaurant with low lighting. That minimizes the chance of sensory overload...

This is probably a better idea unless he is really into ice skating.

Actually - here's an idea. Tell him you are very attracted to him, and you would like to make him dinner. What is his favorite meal. Then, cook it and have a quiet meal at home.

Yeah, that would work. The only thing is, be prepared to handle a slightly different conversation than you're used to. Give him some time to think before responding (NT conversation is instant back-and-forth, and personally I find it hard to follow because I can't process all that's being said and be able to come up with a response in real time, something that makes me prefer a text medium)...

Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions.

Cooking meal at home sounds great, but I am not a good cook, so instead I will tell him that I would be very happy to have a tea with him as I have never been on 1 to 1with him. If I still feel that I am attracted to him after this occasion, then I will tell him that I am attracted to him straight away by text.

After all I only know so little about him. We are both christians, so we have the same belief, but i have no clue what his family is like or what his interests are other than his music. I will try to ask as many questions on this tea occasion.

Is it also possible for Aspie to catch if someone is nervous? I think after reading so much information about how aspie is, I might be the one to be nervous worrying whether i am making him uncomfortable or not as aspie is highly sensitive.

I guess I will try to smile as much as possible, probably he can sense that I am happy around him....

Hmmmm so complex! but aspies fascinate me so much!!

That sounds very nice. I hope everything goes well.

Just a tiny tiny warning... or rather, something to think about. If he seem distant and doesn't show much emotions, that doesn't have to mean that he doesn't have feelings for you.

The thing you describe more or less happend to once. This girl that I really liked asked me if I wanted to come over for some tea and watch Wallace and Grommit. ...so I went there...had tea...watched tv with her...and we said goodbye.

And, now, many years later I began to think that maybe she didn't actually mean "Come over, drink tea and watch tv". Don't know if I should sigh or laugh.

Oh, and maybe not tell him by text. I can't say that I'm an expert but I think you would gain from telling him face to face. Maybe while you say goodbye, if you think it feels right, give him a kiss on the cheek and tell him you like him. (Atleast that something I would have liked.)

I think it differ between aspies... But I guess most of us atleast would pick up that "something is wrong".

No. Please don't act. Be happy and smile if you are happy. As I said before, atleast I would probably have picked up that something wasn't 100% right and probably misinterpret it.

*lol* WIsh there were more people like you.

Me, too.

What is so complex about telling someone "I like you"?

I think it is important that you develop an solid friendship with this person before you try to move things further. It is also important to remember the challenges that Aspies face, like not catching subtle hints. Once you know that they other person knows you care about your friendship with them, then ask them to share some time with them while doing something fun like seeing a movie or doing some other fun activity. Also remember that they might not realize how much you like them unless you directly tell them. Good Luck!

I've gotten more experience as I've gone along and in all honesty I'm not as bad as some aspies are but I do think he'll be fairly able to tell if he's tried lots of times and not given up on people too soon or anything. Oh and if you ask him lots of questions he may or may not realize you just want to get to know him better, I for one would think at first it was just an attempt to talk and couldn't think of anything else at the moment but expect him to be blunt and not sugar coat his answers most people do that aspies just tell the truth right out no subterfuge no tricks. (it's a plus if you like not guessing you can ask directly and get a straight answer no games)


Aspie the no mind games relationship specialist

Although i am not a aspie guy, i believe i have enough experience from my friends that are. i aslo think your gettin all the right advice, be more direct, be blunt, go out on a limb. just tell him straight forward how you feel. read his reaction. I think ypud be fine with this.

Yes, drew is right. And we should all listen to Betsy because she knows what she is talking about. I hate it when I think a girl likes me and she is just being nice and I get my feelings hurt and think about it for weeks and months. I don't ask out girls anymore. I'm never gonna do it again until I feel comfortable doing it, and sure that she likes me. The last and first time I asked out a girl was over the phone. She said yes, but I'm never doing it again. That was 4 years ago.