Odd ways of getting phone numbers

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Maybe she felt sorry for you, maybe she was just trying to be friendly.. Guys treat girls that way too, just so you know. for the record too, when a girl gives a guy her number it doesn't mean she wants in his pants.. it could be just a friends thing. I give my number to guys all the time as friends.

If you expect things from people you will always be dissappointed. So she didn't tell you she wasn't single.. but did you ask?

I didn't ask...good policy for the future. Ask them if they're single in the process. Last night she told me that she couldn't forget someone as friendly as me, and she believes I'm sincere. I don't want to think about her right now though. I've still got other girls who I know are single that I can go for.

I'm not looking to get in someone's pants...I just want to develop a close relationship that involves real love, affection, and respect. I want to be able to kiss someone so badly.

That being said, yesterday was very bad timing for this to happen, because I forgot my medication the day before. One day off my medication is very damaging to my self-esteem and mood.

Sorry to hear that Ellcim, that sucks, and it's pretty typical of girls. I guess it's just girls' way of feeling wanted, they feel good if there's a lot of interest in them.

I myself really need to be able to get over the hurdle of how to ask for numbers. It's not easy for me but it's the next stage I need to get through. There's a girl who works at the supermarket who I've been chasing, and I know we like each other. Now I think she has a b/f from what she said the other day, will keep talking to her and getting to know her to be sure.

But my plan would be to say something like:

"We don't get to talk often enough. It would be nice if there was a way for us to be able to talk more often."

Sound like a good way to proceed?

Oh, definitely. One day after work, you might want to say: "Hey, what are you planning to do now? If she says: "I don't know; home, I guess", then say: "Would you like to join me for some coffee right now?" (This assumes there's a coffee place near your work.) If she says yes, you're all set. If not, then oh well.

It's important that you say "join me" rather than "get some coffee". "Join me" implies that you're getting coffee in either case, and by asking her, you simply want some company (hey, it's boring to sit in a coffee shop by yourself), rather than trying to make a date out of it. From a girl's point of view, giving a guy some company over coffee is far less pressure than having a coffee date. The difference may seem trivial, but to a girl, it's not. And since you're asking her during work hours, you've got sexual harrassment issues to worry about. Saying "join me for coffee" can't be interpreted as a come-on, while a date request can be.

Sounds like good advice Aspie1, especially as I need a gentle way to get into it. I also like Astro's idea of the "un-date". Again there's less pressure on either party to consider it a proper date as such, and I especially like the question about "What would you do if you could do anything you like" or whatever it was. I forget if it was this thread or another thread, but that could produce some stimulating conversation, and shows the girl you have an exciting and unpredictable side.

The other day I asked Nicole, that's the girl from the supermarket, what she was doing after work. She said her friend was taking her out in his car... so, yeah, I couldn't help thinking that was an intimate situation and that she was taken. Will keep asking and finding out, and have a friendship starting to develop with another girl in the store. They finish at 10.30pm, so I guess I just have to work round that. Also I'm just back from a church service, not my usual church, but if I go to this one more often there are girls I may have chances with. So there are definitely potential friendships that can be cultivated.

That could work very well for me, as I work in a café. There's also a couple good spots downtown, about 5 km away, and a Starbucks about 3.5 km away. Tim Hortons is everywhere in Canada, but it isn't a good place for a date - it's too redneck. Which is fine if I'm by myself or a bunch of guys, but not for good conversation.

There is a girl at work that I like, and recently I asked her for a hug (there is presently an illness in the family, so things have been stressful for me). We had to hug at a 60-degree angle due to work stuff being in our arms as well. She held onto me tight and rubbed my back, and put her head on my shoulder. At other times she gives me lots of steady eye contact, and she sometimes flirts with me. I don't know if she's single, but I'm thinking of asking her to join me for a drink one night after work. I usually drive so I can drive her there then take her home.

As for "Stefani" - we hung out on the weekend and had a very nice talk. More later.

Wow, it seems like she likes you; good job! Look at the signs: she hugged you, and it wasn't a platonic hug; she put her head on your shoulder; she's looking you right in the eyes; and she flirts with you a lot, probably with a lot of touching. This reminds me of when I used to work in retail. One girl did all the things you described, and she was really fun to talk to, but she had a boyfriend. Interestingly, she never mentioned him to me directly. I ended up overhearing it from another girl at the store. Go figure. As for you, be aware of this possibility, but don't worry about it. Just enjoy the interaction with a friendly girl, and if nothing else you two can be friends. It's always nice to have a friend of the opposite sex (even a platonic friend) you can go dancing with or cuddle with while watching a movie.

I'll see what I can do with her. I wonder what would be a good first date with someone at that level. Somehow I'm not sure coffee is the best idea - any ideas?

That being said, "Stefani" fits into a similar category for me, except she has a somewhat different personality and I've known her much longer and with much more personal depth. I'm going to try a number of people out in the next couple weeks. (To Beau: I have a coffee date with one of the girls I e-mailed you about, this coming weekend!)

That's awesome ellcim

Question: How does the following sound in an email I might send? The pretense asks her when she works this weekend, and then mentions when I work.

...if you’re working one of those nights, I'd like you to come join me for a drink after closing!

And, what's a good close? I know "Love," is not a good idea this early on.

Somehow, my experience tells me that an e-mail makes things look too planned. When you're both working the same night, sponteneously go up to her ask her. Phrase it as follows: "I'm planning to go eat at [place of your choice]. Do you want to join me?" As I said earlier, it makes you look very un-desperate (if such a term exists). It makes things sound like you're hungry and planning to eat at a particular place, but would prefer to have some company because it's boring to eat by yourself. From her point of view, it puts the ball in your court: you want company, and even though you could have asked anyone, you chose to ask her. Better than popping the question and letting her choose accept the invitation or reject you.

In most cases, this would work just fine. However, the problem I see is that while I'm 20 and driving on my own, this girl is two years younger and just got her beginners' license, which means she can't yet drive to work on her own - her parents pick her up. So anything I want to do spontaneously depends a lot on her parents. It could be done, as if she wanted to do something she could call them and tell them not to pick her up, but that does make things a little awkward.

Also, while a lot of young people thrive on spontenaity (sp?), some people (like me) plan everything in advance, and last-minute plans never work. I can do it if I want to, but sometimes other people cannot.

What about MSN? I'm running out of time to work with if I'm going to ask in advance. She's on right now, albeit "away".

In the worst case scenario, I'll ask her when she arrives at work, as I typically am on the shift several hours before her shift starts.

This whole thing just keeps getting worse and worse. Now "Stefani" is taken, and only very recently. Two in one week is more than I can bear.

At least there's still a couple other people I have in mind, albeit I'd far rather be with Stefani than anyone else. Otherwise I'm going to be resorting to some more unorthodox methods of picking up ladies. I'll do whatever it takes.

Is it any wonder I'm bitter about women? I'm just so tired of their tricks.