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therange
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21 Feb 2010, 9:45 pm

I don't think there's any of that here. Most guys are looking for other Aspies. I look for pretty NTs, but 1.)While women have found me attractive, I've never been mistaken for a model or jock, 2.)I could probably count with one hand the number of women I've seen locally that would ever have a career as a model or be most guy's "10"...so I'm not looking for supermodel or anything close to it. If anything, I feel more comfortable around the cute/pretty girl since we're each other's equals more or less and there's also more in common.

I think when guys in general talk about models or porn stars, they really (whether they realize it or not) would just want a one night stand with her. I was in contact with a girl that most guys would think is "really hot"...and it was clear after a few conversations that while she's not a bad person, she holds herself back conversationally for a certain type of guy.



Lene
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22 Feb 2010, 12:23 pm

therange wrote:
If anything, I feel more comfortable around the cute/pretty girl since we're each other's equals more or less and there's also more in common.


If the cute, pretty girl also had social issues or aspergers, then yes, you could consider yourself to be her equal, but a lot of people here are unrealsitic in that they think their looks should automatically land them someone with equally good looks, without taking into account social skills and empathy which play a large part in how desirable someone is considered to be. Realistically, a highly paid job is also valued by many women and a lot of aspies here seem to be on benefits, so that' another 'black mark' against them.

Girls don't do the visual 'rate by numbers' game as much as guys. A 'number 8' girl would be more likely to date a lower number (visually) if he were funny or charasmatic, than a 'boring' or unempathetic number 10. I'm not trying to be horrible or say that this applies to you, but if your empathy or social skills aren't great, then you probably won't be 'rated' as highly as your looks alone may suggest



therange
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22 Feb 2010, 12:59 pm

Well my social skills are better than the average Aspie. I worked on them, which is why I get mad when guys on here say "I can't change"...I wanted it bad enough, and people don't even know I have Aspergers unless I'm in a job setting where I don't know what I'm doing.

I also am lucky enough to not have weird, narrowly fixed interests. I'm not even sure what I have is Aspergers. The person I identify most with on this site is an NT. I just have remarkable stress when it comes to sitting or standing and doing one monotonous thing for a long period of time...even watching a movie unless I'm really entertained. I also have trouble processing certain information, not all, but some.



Sound
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22 Feb 2010, 7:01 pm

^ That is very much like me, although I don't have those stress items, and I do fixate on certain hobbies. I too feel the need to resist the meme that we can't change, because I have changed for the better, in some way.