What does love mean to you?

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02 May 2010, 11:05 pm

what is love? eschewing abstractions [heavenly and otherwise], i'd have to say it could be-

*an expectant woman putting herself through an uncomfortable [at best] gestation and an agonizing labor, in order to welcome, sight-unseen, a new spirit into earthly incarnation.

*a mother making herself do without, in order to better provide for her children.
*a mother staying with a terror of a husband in order to keep the family together and make sure her children still have a mother.

*a mother cooking, cleaning, nurturing, putting-up with her sometimes clueless and often unappreciative children and fairly certain she will get little-or-no thanks for this mostly thankless [motherhood] task.

[warding off the flames, there also are legions of unaknowledged fathers who also do these tasks, often sans companionship, many at considerable self-sacrifice.]

*a soldier who plants himself squarely atop a ticking short-fused explosive, thereby shielding his comrades-at-arms from harm.

*people who sacrifice their time, security, sleep, energy et al, to help other people who can never fully appreciate their sacrifice.

this too-short list represents a bit of true selfless love, and IMHO everything short of this is mere infatuation.

Sound
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02 May 2010, 11:14 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo[/youtube]

ToadOfSteel
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02 May 2010, 11:17 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Darkword wrote:

Love is the highest level of empathy, where all your own desires become secondary to the desires of the person you empathize with.

Quote:

Love is putting someone before yourself. Obsession is completely disregarding yourself for someone

These aren't love. These are "being a pleaser".

Love to me is the acceptance of someone or something for what it is, even if it has annoying flaws, it's the ultimate deepest form of caring.

How can you truly care for something, no matter what, without putting that something before yourself?

Darkword
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02 May 2010, 11:54 pm

The quirk aspect of my statement was rather important, as is the point that love has to be fully shared for it to work (Which sounds so horribly cheesy I just did not want to say it).

Also, the level of empathy I'm speaking of is impossible without acceptance/understanding imo.

hale_bopp
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03 May 2010, 12:42 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Darkword wrote:

Love is the highest level of empathy, where all your own desires become secondary to the desires of the person you empathize with.

Quote:

Love is putting someone before yourself. Obsession is completely disregarding yourself for someone

These aren't love. These are "being a pleaser".

Love to me is the acceptance of someone or something for what it is, even if it has annoying flaws, it's the ultimate deepest form of caring.

How can you truly care for something, no matter what, without putting that something before yourself?

What you're describing may be caring, but its not love.
For example:

I loved the person I was recently with. I care about him immensly. But I will not drop one of my interests because he doesn't agree with it. Does that mean I don't love him? No way.

What you're describing is unhealthy.

Spazzergasm
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03 May 2010, 8:31 am

I agree with toad. When you love someone, truly, purely love someone, you will put them before yourself. Would you die for someone you loved?
Not sure I agree about the loving of objects, though...

Ebonwinter
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03 May 2010, 8:35 am

Spazzergasm wrote:

I agree with toad. When you love someone, truly, purely love someone, you will put them before yourself. Would you die for someone you loved?
Not sure I agree about the loving of objects, though...

I agree too I believe love for someone is willing to sacrifice for someone.

musicboxforever
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03 May 2010, 9:37 am

hale_bopp wrote:

I don't think that is what they mean. You still have to maintain your "self" in a relationship. Say you like ice-skating, though, and your partner doesn't and they like going to the cinema to see romantic-comedies, but you don't. Each could put the other first from time to time and he could go ice-skating with you every-so-often and you could go to the cinema with him every-so-often. You don't have to totally give up your interst for the other person and you don't have to totally immerse yourself in their interest, but being balanced and making an effort to spend time with the other person doing something that they like is a way of putting them first.

HopeGrows
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03 May 2010, 1:31 pm

Sound wrote:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsCXZczTQXo[/youtube]

@Sound - This is the next best thing to being Rickrolled. :lol:

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03 May 2010, 2:18 pm

Love is selfless, non-possessive. It comes out of the blue, filling you up even if you don't want it to begin with, blinds you to reality and fractures you into infinite pieces when you fall under the delusion that it lasts, as is, forever. Love is love; weightless, invisible and undefinable.. perhaps if I tried (and will fail) simply, precious.

Asp-Z
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03 May 2010, 2:35 pm

If I'm feeling logical, I'll use this, from the WeDict app on my iPhone:

Quote:

love
     n 1: a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; "his love
          for his work"; "children need a lot of love" [ant: {hate}]
     2: any object of warm affection or devotion; "the theater was
        her first love" or "he has a passion for cock fighting";
        [syn: {passion}]
     3: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment [syn: {beloved},
         {dear}, {dearest}, {loved one}, {honey}]
     4: a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; "their love
        left them indifferent to their surroundings"; "she was his
        first love"
     5: a score of zero in tennis or squash; "it was 40 love"
     6: sexual activities (often including sexual intercourse)
        between two people; "his lovemaking disgusted her"; "he
        hadn't had any love in months"; "he has a very complicated
        love life" [syn: {sexual love}, {lovemaking}, {making love},
         {love life}]

love
     v 1: have a great affection or liking for; "I love French food";
          "She loves her boss and works hard for him" [ant: {hate}]
     2: get pleasure from; "I love cooking" [syn: {enjoy}]
     3: be enamored or in love with; "She loves her husband deeply"
     4: have sexual intercourse with; "This student sleeps with
        everyone in her dorm"; "Adam knew Eve"; "Were you ever
        intimate with this man?" [syn: {roll in the hay}, {make
        out}, {make love}, {sleep with}, {get laid}, {have sex}, {know},
         {do it}, {be intimate}, {have intercourse}, {have it away},
         {have it off}, {screw}, {f**k}, {jazz}, {eff}, {hump}, {lie
        with}, {bed}, {have a go at it}, {bang}, {get it on}, {bonk}]

If I wanted to specifically attempt to describe my thoughts reguarding romantic love, I'd say it means you know everything about that person - including the bad things - and accept it. It's when you think about someone all the time and when doing so is enough to make you happy. It's when you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. It's when you can't imagine yourself with anyone else. It's when you think that a person is perfect for you, and you honestly can't imagine going on without them. It's when you will always help the person and cheer them up. And finally, it's when that person does all that for you too.

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06 May 2010, 7:28 pm

a world of torturous feelings just waiting for me to slip and fall.

the absolute destruction of my world.

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