Dating multiple people vs. being exclusive

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happymusic
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12 Jun 2010, 5:26 pm

I dated multiple people at the same time and had a great time. They all knew that I wasn't committed to any of them in particular and if they wanted to hang out and have fun, then fine, but if they were going to try to get possessive or dramatic, they could get lost. This was very obvious from the beginning with me. And oddly enough, though I was seeing lots of people, I actually had sex with very few of them because the relationships weren't very deep. And when we did have sex, there wasn't any sort of boring conversation before hand about where we stood with one another. It was all in good fun. Besides, you can date lots of people and not have sex with any of them if you don't want - that's fine, too.

I agree with Abraham - have fun while you can. Dating all those people didn't hurt me in the least.



chessimprov
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12 Jun 2010, 9:26 pm

Basically, whatever you do, make sure you can be as honest with all partners as possible, and hopefully they all will do the same for you.

Personally, I wouldn't want to explore casual sex unless I knew all partner(s) I was involved with were okay with that. I think sex should be much more serious and not so casual. On the other hand, I'm likely to the lust too depending on all the circumstances, lol.



irishwhistle
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12 Jun 2010, 10:50 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:
Image


:lol: :lol: :lol:


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CrinklyCrustacean
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13 Jun 2010, 6:27 am

Merle wrote:
Because when you are friends with someone, your focus isn't on the same things as when your dating them.

Not to thread-jack, but the rule on what is and isn't a date seems terribly blurred. Where do you draw the line between dating and socialising one-on-one with someone of the opposite sex whom you've just met?



chessimprov
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13 Jun 2010, 5:08 pm

There is no definitive line. You discuss it with your partner(s) and "draw" it for better or worse.



sedjat
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13 Jun 2010, 6:07 pm

chessimprov wrote:
There is no definitive line. You discuss it with your partner(s) and "draw" it for better or worse.


How do you discuss it with your partner(s)? When does such a topic come up in conversation so that you can talk? If it doesn't, how do you broach the topic?



irishwhistle
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13 Jun 2010, 11:54 pm

sedjat wrote:
chessimprov wrote:
There is no definitive line. You discuss it with your partner(s) and "draw" it for better or worse.


How do you discuss it with your partner(s)? When does such a topic come up in conversation so that you can talk? If it doesn't, how do you broach the topic?


Well, that's just the trouble, one we run into even more as Aspies... because we hear so often that we break unwritten rules, we come to expect there to be a common rule among those who claim to be in the know. Fact is, even the so-called NTs spend so much time in misunderstandings... well, it's such stuff as sitcoms are made of. There are guidelines more than rules, as the pirate captain said. And endless, endless misunderstandings resulting in broken hearts.

Which is why you hear so often that communication in relationships is vital.


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"Pack up my head, I'm goin' to Paris!" - P.W.

The world loves diversity... as long as it's pretty, makes them look smart and doesn't put them out in any way.

There's the road, and the road less traveled, and then there's MY road.