What constitutes "damaged goods"?

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OP, if you're talking about a general understanding of the term "damaged goods" that you see on the old www, I'd take that phrase to mean the following: a person who has endured some type of trauma (other posters in this thread have mentioned different types of abuse, family dysfunction, etc.), and/or is suffering from an untreated mental illness - and is not seeking help and/or treatment.

I think the last part of the "definition" above is really key: a lack of treatment and/or a lack of effort to get treatment or help for their symptoms. Look, people who want to find someone with "no baggage" are SOL - we've all got baggage. I also think that at some point in our lives, we're all "damaged goods" (as long as human beings remain as imperfect as we all are). But we all have two choices: get help and get healed (making ourselves good relationship material); don't get help and don't get healed (making us less-than-good relationship material). I think people who don't want a partner who's considered "damaged goods" are not necessarily looking for someone who's never been mistreated or had a problem. Instead, I think they're looking specifically for someone who is reasonably mentally/emotionally/psychologically healthy (someone who has dealt with their own issues/trauma).

And while I would hate to think of people using the term "damaged goods" as a put-down, I think that people who are looking for someone who is not "damaged goods" are doing the right thing. They have probably learned - from past experience - that you can't heal somebody else's personal trauma (or treat somebody else's mental illness). You can love them, help them, etc., but until they take the responsibility necessary to face their problems and deal with them, nothing will change for them. They're still going to be carrying around their old hurts, behaving dysfunctionally, handicapped by the limitations of their illness, etc. It's very difficult to watch someone you love suffer and be unable to help them - and be unable to convince them to get help. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to have that experience more than once.

That is also my definition.



Emotional baggage yes, and children, which is a link to the ex. Unlike those TV shows, IRL single moms are NOT sought after commodity on the singles market.

Damaged goods-a girl who has slept around/'been around the block'; a person who has had emotional trauma (such as sexual abuse) in their life

Baggage-someone who has 'strings attached', like an ex husband, a child, a stalker...something in their life that would make them more complicated than another relationship

i guess by this criteria, that i am indeed damaged goods as well. oh well, at least i am not a right-wing republican

Sounds more like "Used Goods" I don't know that that is considered damaged, just experienced.

I can agree with not calling a woman like that "damaged", but on the other hand an experienced woman is going to expect experience from me... so actually I am the damaged one...

I agree with both these statements. When I try to think of someone who is "damaged goods," I can't think of anything except as an insult to someone. As for HopeGrows statement, I believe that to be true too. My girlfriend sometimes calls herself "damaged goods" because of being abused as a child, but I don't think she is because she is actively seeking help. She sees a councilor every week about her OCD, Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Bipolar II Disorder. She has even convinced me to go see a councilor about my possible Aspergers.