Are attractive women usually taken?

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Hector
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06 Jul 2010, 6:30 pm

Willard wrote:

billsmithglendale wrote:

Not only is this the most superficial, selfish, despicable, dishonorable attitude a human being could possibly have, at best it will get you arrested for stalking, more likely it will get you your @ss beaten and mutilated and eventually killed. Taken means taken, the same way No means NO. When someone tells you they are already in a relationship, even if they are lying, they're trying to get rid of you - take a hint.

You're reading too much into this. Just because a girl is taken doesn't mean she has turned you down, that's sort of what his point was to begin with.

Bataar
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06 Jul 2010, 6:53 pm

It's no where near true. I've heard from quite a number of attractive women that a lot of time they're single because so many guys assume they're taken because of their looks that no one asks them out.

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06 Jul 2010, 7:04 pm

IGNORE this reply; I misread something in the post & I cant figure out how to delete this

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06 Jul 2010, 8:13 pm

90% are. Most girls at some point will always mention her boyfriend in a discussion just to annoy you.

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TruthTree
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06 Jul 2010, 10:25 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:

90% are. Most girls at some point will always mention her boyfriend in a discussion just to annoy you.

They do it because they don't want to mislead you, and want to avoid the uncomfortable situation of having to turn you down.

sunshower
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06 Jul 2010, 10:25 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:

Yes, it's true, but don't let that stop you. Too many guys write women off because they are "taken" -- trust me, no one is really permanently "taken" unless they're dead, in the best marriage ever, or planning to become a nun.

Lots of guys hear "taken" and think she's somehow locked up forever -- for sure, in the short run, you're probably not going to get anywhere, and that is where too many guys are shortsighted. You need to think long-term.

Long-term thinking -- any woman who is worth anything and not crazy or broken (sorry single ladies, I don't mean you) will have a BF. So you need to get in line -- make friends, don't be too forward, cultivate the friendship without being used, and odds are that when she's done with the current guy and looking for the next, you'll be in line and have a good chance. And don't just do this with one woman, be in line with many. Make sense?

I only wish I had learned this lesson earlier in life. Don't make the same mistake, build your "portfolio."

This is some of the best advice I've ever read in this forum. This is exactly how dating works for guys. Building up your "portfolio" doesn't mean you're unloyal, or fickle or whatever, it just means you're keeping your mind open. You make friends while being open to a future possible relationship if her current one doesn't work out, and if the two of you happen to gel right, but irrespective you've made a friend anyway. Dating is hit and miss at best, and the best way to approach it is to try and make as many contacts as possible and keep your mind open.

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NeantHumain
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06 Jul 2010, 10:41 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:

90% are. Most girls at some point will always mention her boyfriend in a discussion just to annoy you.

Yes, most women mention a boyfriend when you're talking to them if they sense you're angling to ask them out. It's a preemptive no. Sometimes they're lying about having a boyfriend; sometimes they're telling the truth. Yes, billsmithglendale was right that sometimes a woman in a relationship can become open to romantic overtures from a new guy, but that's definitely an uphill battle unless she's already sick of her boyfriend to begin with.

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06 Jul 2010, 11:33 pm

BrandonSP wrote:

I think it's a prerequisite for romance. Without any physical attraction between you and her, you might as well just be friends.

Can work both ways. I have found I don't need to be attracted to a guy initially to fall for him.

Quote:

Lots of guys hear "taken" and think she's somehow locked up forever -- for sure, in the short run, you're probably not going to get anywhere, and that is where too many guys are shortsighted. You need to think long-term.

Life is like a fast paced river, sometimes you have to catch the leaf when it passes you or you've missed out. Nothing ever stays the same and I find the thought of hanging onto a woman or multiple women for the tiny hope she/they may be single in future to be the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard. What a waste of a life.

Stop looking, stop holding on, stop looking around corners and start living.

amazon_television
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07 Jul 2010, 12:04 am

hale_bopp wrote:

BrandonSP wrote:

I find the thought of hanging onto a woman or multiple women for the tiny hope she/they may be single in future to be the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard. What a waste of a life.

I think the initial reference to this here was more based on cultivating friendships first. It's ridiculous like you said if "hanging on" is about nothing but some long shot chance at "making things work", but at least for me, if I really dig someone I'm perfectly fine being friends. There's no reason to duck out on someone awesome just cause she's taken. If it somehow works out later that's great, if not, it isn't the end of the world. Being friends is great by me.

And I can see that we're coming at this from kinda two different angles, but there is some overlap. Hanging onto hope w/ some brief acquaintance is horrid. Keeping someone in the middle-back of your mind who's been genuinely close to you for a long time, that's different imo.

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astaut
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07 Jul 2010, 12:06 am

I think there are two good points; many girls consider themselves taken, but you don't have to forget about her that easily. But you do have to respect her if she genuinely wants you to leave her alone. There are many girls who are 'taken' but if they found something better they would be willing to give up their current one (personally it would bug me if someone did that, but plenty of people don't seem to mind). I don't suggest going out and stealing someone's girlfriend of a year, but when some girl has a guy give her flowers and starts saying "oh, I'm taken" then yeah...it's fine to jump in the middle of that, lol.

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Politelysaying
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07 Jul 2010, 12:10 am

BrandonSP wrote:

I've sought a girlfriend for two years, yet it has been my experience that almost all the women my age who I find attractive claim to already have boyfriends. Are these women telling the truth, or is pretending to have a boyfriend the current popular way to reject a man's advances?

Usually if they aren't interested at all, they will tell you straigth off (Whether Real, Imagined or plain lying) that they have a boyfriend) however sometimes they will be doing this just to test you, if you read the body language right, you can usually succeed at meeting their standards. Unfortunely you guys have a of difficulty understanding or dealing with such language. Fortunely there is a solution, strive to learn it. Trust me anyone can and for you it is more of a case "letting go" or as they say "trust your heart".

Last edited by Politelysaying on 07 Jul 2010, 12:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

amazon_television
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07 Jul 2010, 12:26 am

Politelysaying wrote:

Unfortunely you guys have a of difficulty understanding or dealing with such language. Fortunely their is a solution, strive to learn it.

OK. Enlighten us then son. Break that wisdom down into small coherent pieces for "us". Where did you come from?

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Politelysaying
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07 Jul 2010, 12:43 am

amazon_television wrote:

Politelysaying wrote:

Unfortunely you guys have a of difficulty understanding or dealing with such language. Fortunely their is a solution, strive to learn it.

OK. Enlighten us then son. Break that wisdom down into small coherent pieces for "us". Where did you come from?

I could do that, but I would rather "show you". Prehaps a few sources of information and a little bit patience will give you some answers. I think there is a sticky on the board here that will provide something helpful. Even just googling "Body Language" would work as a good start. Also in future would you kindly refrain from comments involving such pointless hostility. One can't assume so much from so little conversation, all I am doing giving you a small push in the right direction.

Cheers,
Paul

amazon_television
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07 Jul 2010, 1:04 am

Politelysaying wrote:

One can't assume so much from so little conversation, all I am doing giving you a small push in the right direction.

Cheers,
Paul

I can, and do, assume that much with any kinda speak that entails "you (all)" vs "me". It sounds from your words like you feel you have the answers. I'm doing fine for my own purposes, so don't worry about me, but if you insist on imparting your awesome wisdom, do so beyond some vague google searches and with a bit less condescention.

How about some stories? Give us some actual perspective. That's what most people come out with in here.

I know I came at you sideways before but in this I'm dead serious, I'd genuinely love to hear what you have to say.

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GoatOnFire
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07 Jul 2010, 2:00 am

BrandonSP wrote:

Are these women telling the truth, or is pretending to have a boyfriend the current popular way to reject a man's advances?

Well, it would not be unheard of for a woman to lie about having a boyfriend to reject a man's advances, though I don't think it's only a recent phenomenon.

There is no universal definition of an attractive female. If a woman has a boyfriend doesn't that automatically mean that somebody clearly finds her attractive except for certain strange cases?

In my experience, the females generally considered attractive are actually more likely to be single because they are frequently pickier about their men and men are generally more afraid to approach them.

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hale_bopp
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07 Jul 2010, 2:45 am

amazon_television wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

BrandonSP wrote:

I find the thought of hanging onto a woman or multiple women for the tiny hope she/they may be single in future to be the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard. What a waste of a life.

In that case its almost a waste of time because you've been friend zoned.

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