Too smart to Marry

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Most women also prefer men smarter than themselves, while most men like to be in control, many women like to be with a man who can be in control. So it's two-ways screwed up way of thinking.

I prefer women with equal, or greater, intelligence to myself. I want to be able to have deep, meaningful conversations with her. My aunt, who has a Masters degree in science, married a smart guy who is Aspie and has a PhD. Smart ppeople usually tend to want to go for other smart people.

I'm quite intelligent, and the guy I'm seeing is as well. He has ADHD and I have undiagnosed AS, and so we're always tearing through the craziest conversation topics for hours on end together. It's so great. When we first started talking, it was so exciting to be able to bounce ideas and thoughts off another person without worrying about offending them, or coming off as pretentious and odd.

In retrospect, I think my past relationships haven't worked out as well as my current one is because I've always had to mute my intelligence and quirks to make my potential partner feel like they were on the same level as me, even though they were not. I had to suppress my odd interests and unusual way of seeing the world in order to fit in with these other potential partners. Unfortunately, that only lasts so long. Things fall apart. (I'm not saying I was on different levels than these people intellectually, as I can never know that for sure, but it always felt like things weren't meshing because everything I did/felt/said was unusual, curious to them, and they could never build on my ideas, only listen and/or judge.)

So, yeah, I think being on the same level intellectually is hugely important if you're planning to marry someone for more than sex or social status. I think it's a horrible sign for a guy to leave a girl because she's more 'intelligent' than he is. That is just not genuine at all.

Last edited by charade on 18 Jul 2010, 6:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I like a partner of equal yet different intelligences (does that make sense?) I guess the main thing is that they are complementary. But I don't find anything surprising or dispiriting about the contents of this article, it seems natural enough.

Why do people on here take surveys/articles like this at face value and think they apply to everyone. They are only bloody samples (this being an extremely vague one) ffs and by no means should they be taken as gospel.

I like smart women but I am not convinced women like smart men (unless thats just some of my exs) especially how in my experience, women always go off on one when someone points out their contradictions/double standards to them.

Maybe some women do like smart men, but they won't when they get outwitted by their bf's/husbands in an argument.

Smart people are hard to find.

It was actually pretty hilarious at the time. That same guy is trying to get with me again, I think.

I like taller smarter, older men.

I like intelligent women of equal or greater intelligence than my own.

Are you smart enough not to get involved?

Dumb people in general I find annoying. When I was looking for a prospective mate one of my chief criteria was that she be of above average intelligence. I cannot be friends with stupid people either. I dislike having to explain simplistic things to people, then I feel like I'm friends with a child, instead of an equal.

When I was a teenager I chased the dumb "hot" girls. I quickly discovered that once you try talking to them they don't have anything relevant to talk about, and wondered how they could get by on such a vapid existence.

My fiancee and the few friends I choose to retain are all of above average intelligence.

I don't really know what constitutes intelligence. I'm attracted to some extent to good grades because I see someone who is at least motivated and responsible in a certain aspect of their life, and that's something I aspire to (though I was never really the best in the class myself). But it's not a requirement.

and this is half the problem, intelligence is all down to interpretation. Someones job status doesn't define how smart/dumb they are, it just means they are well qualified in that area.

IQ tests are nonsense as well, they are just questions to which you either know the answers or you don't, again doesn't prove anything.

Also women who say they like smart intelligent men really mean they just like guys with well paid careers and a fat wallet. They wouldn't go a man who is a genius if he chose to be unemployed, claimed benefits and did nothing with his life.

Last edited by Daemonic-Jackal on 19 Jul 2010, 3:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

NT's are afraid of being alone and/or they want to be like everyone else so they get married. You are not meant to be with one person. It doesn't work that way. Intelligent Aspers understand how pretentious relationships are. Most people who get married end up bored out of their minds, cheat or get a divorce.

I didn't choose it, it was the life that chose me

True that. I would ideally like someone of the same intelligence as me, give or take. Of course, there are different types of intelligence as well, and it'd be nice of my hypothetical partner had aptitude in some of the areas I lack in, and vice versa.