:'( Just kill me now

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To be fair, I am spending most of my time at home. I don't have any real life friends as such, although there might be a two or three (I made a new friend) who are, but I haven't seen anyone for a long time now in terms of just simply seeing a friend, outside the very very useful Autonomy group that I attend - a social group for other aspies and auties - this is very useful and brilliant - the person who runs it is also an activist for the rights for Autistic/Asperger people and I meet people there 3 or 4 times a month.
I am going to help set up a chess club for people in Autonomy as well, so that should be great - with my new friend whom I hope to see more and hang out with.
I have just been festering away letting my thoughts hurt me, and having no coping skills for the sensory overload that has happened for a while.
It is enough to hurt anyone, and I feel like my music prospects are going no where.
I have lost so much motivation to do anything. I am not easily motivated and am easily tempted to feel lazy. It's been a rough road for a while now.
I was pro-active once in my life - when I was 14-15, and also in 2008. Those, for work ethic, were a good years.
I have been punishing myself a lot recently. Guess I owe myself better than that kind of mental torment.

Yeah women are whores man. At least thats the easiest way to explain their behavior. This doesn't rule out manipulating her emotions onces shes with you but aside from that shes a whore. Just saying i've dated 5 chicks and have gone through so much pain trying to get what i want out of it (sex) while still trying to be nice. I've even been suicidal over it because you feel like such a loser when you get bitched out.

One thing I've found works is talk dirty to a girl then she will be the one asking you to come over. Seriously be a pervert and you have to help them fantasize about what they are going to do for you or what your going to them
I've found this is one thing i can do well as an aspie is have fantasies that I can bring a girl into

Dating is truly painful as an aspie because its hard for even a normal guy. Nothing has made me more depressed as girls man even though i've never even been that obsessed with them for some reason you need their approval

Samtoo, you have to get through this. Is part of your attachment really an expression of OCD? Can you separate the two?

I think OCD might be a problem, I'm not entirely sure... it wouldn't surprise me if I'm a little bit ADD as well due to my lack of feeling able to be motivated, emotional sways, hyper active brain and interest focussed on music much more than anything else including life necessities.
I think that my mind might just be void of any particular coping strategies for relationships not working.
I feel like I've failed if this doesn't work and I never feel like giving up. My emotions go full circle a lot.
I am not too good at coping with all this and my living situation is not all too friendly right now... I don't have much to focus on.
I feel as though I am starting to build my life up, and feel more able.
I am not sure if I'll feel all this again, but last night was a night of rage amidst a time of starting to feel better, and I think I created a couple of coping mechanisms, which I may have been sorely lacking.

Yeah the sex side isn't as important to me as the feeling of having a soulmate.

Thank you for the help people. *Hug*

Hi ToadOfSteel.

I understand the feeling you describe - it can be very lonely and debilitating.

There will be many times in your life that you will feel well and able I am sure. ^^
Humans are not made to be defeated you see. This feeling of dissatisfaction of relationships not coming to fruition or not forming is only a phase.
I am certain that you will find a very nice woman to share life with. ^^

Perhaps you can find pleasure in the simple things, such as feeling a sense of accomplishment for making yourself a refreshing drink.
For many aspies, all this confusion and pain is unhealthy and overloading, so we owe it to ourselves to find pleasure in ourselves and feel well in our own skin.

I hope you feel good today. *Hug*

Samtoo, here's an old song for you.

When I was just a bit younger than you, my first real relationship ended suddenly, after a wonderful year, when he got obsessed with someone else and dumped me. I was so hurt and sad and couldn't get over him at all. But then I used to play this song every morning, and sing along, even though it made tears stream down my face, and bit by bit, it worked it's magic, and I stopped hurting, even though I still missed him for years.

It might not be your kind of thing, but just in case.

Boz Scaggs - I'll Be Long Gone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so_4S9gZ20k

In fact I used to play (and sing loudly to) the 2 albums Boz Scaggs, 1969 & My Time, 1972 (more upbeat, perks your body up, even if you still feel down) every day until they finally got me back on a more even keel. It took 2 or 3 months, but every day got easier. Home-grown cbt, I guess.

Kind of laid-back blues, country, jazzy, twangy mix. But it made me feel better when I didn't think anything ever would. I really couldn't get by without music.

I hope you get to feel better soon. *Hug*

I think sosuave.net would do the OP a lot of good. He seems to have women on a pedestal.

Sure I put women on a pedestal, but that's ok.
I'm a passionate romantic and I never believe in break ups.
I won't give up on my ex girlfriend.

But what do you do if she gives up on you? I did everything in my power to make my last relationship work, and even then it didn't. Granted, you might have better luck than I, but it just shows that some aren't cut out for relationships. That said, I still keep trying even if it's impossible, because there simply is no alternative other than living a long, lonely life. And that is the most unbearable idea for me to think about...

I hope you move on eventually Samtoo.

Sorry to hear what you're going through. I think you really should just move on bu that's easy said than done. I too am in a similar situation and it is very hard.