Do guys make too big of a deal about sex?

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Pistonhead
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15 Sep 2010, 10:29 am

I said "way to a man's heart" did I not? That implies make him love you.

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Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 10:34 am

Than I'm afraid I have to disagree - if love was so easy to get it's weird it took me so long to find it since I'm an excellent cook and have very liberal ideas about sex :lol:

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JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 11:12 am

Sallamandrina wrote:

Pistonhead wrote:

Sallamandrina wrote:

Lol, Pistonhead, do you really think a man will fall in love with a woman just because she has sex with him? A woman expecting this would be very stupid.

Yes I do! They also tend to know that it works from experience. Ask any girl who's been with 10+ guys what the quickest way to a man's heart is. 9/10 will say bend over and 1/10 will say steak, beer or football.

Are you sure we're talking about love here? Sounds more like how to get someone into a relationship - I'd say 50% of time this has little to do with love.

He's not going to understand that because Americans have no concept of an "affair" as a midpoint between a committed relationship and one night stand.

Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 11:34 am

JohnisBlind wrote:

He's not going to understand that because Americans have no concept of an "affair" as a midpoint between a committed relationship and one night stand.

Really? If that's correct it's very interesting. Most of my relationships begun with a crush or just interest and liking or lusting for someone. When I was very young I sort of hoped it will turn into love but it usually didn't. Maybe that's why my relationships never ended "badly" - there wasn't much hope, so not much disappointment either. They didn't "lead" to anything but were overall interesting experiences. Sounds a bit cold, huh?

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JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 11:41 am

Sallamandrina wrote:

JohnisBlind wrote:

He's not going to understand that because Americans have no concept of an "affair" as a midpoint between a committed relationship and one night stand.

No, I don't think so. Do you think that more passionate people have a different way of developing into love?

Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 11:50 am

JohnisBlind wrote:

No, I don't think so. Do you think that more passionate people have a different way of developing into love?

Honestly, I have no idea. When I met my husband I fell for him pretty hard - but at the time I really couldn't tell if it was just a crush or more. I think only time can tell this - love endures.

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JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 1:04 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:

JohnisBlind wrote:

No, I don't think so. Do you think that more passionate people have a different way of developing into love?

Honestly, I have no idea. When I met my husband I fell for him pretty hard - but at the time I really couldn't tell if it was just a crush or more. I think only time can tell this - love endures.

Well that doesn't sound cold.

Ambrose_Rotten
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15 Sep 2010, 1:18 pm

Pistonhead wrote:

I said "way to a man's heart" did I not? That implies make him love you.

If that were the case, then why are there so many one-night-stands?

I'm not trying to shoot you down, but I'm curious of how you came to this conclusion.

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15 Sep 2010, 1:48 pm

Ambrose_Rotten wrote:

Pistonhead wrote:

I said "way to a man's heart" did I not? That implies make him love you.

If that were the case, then why are there so many one-night-stands?

I'm not trying to shoot you down, but I'm curious of how you came to this conclusion.

Actually research by the KInsey institute and many others have shown that one night stands are actually very rare.

Think about it. If the average male only has 7 partners in his life then that doesn't leave a lot of room for one night stands does it?

JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 1:56 pm

Pistonhead wrote:

Ask any girl who's been with 10+ guys what the quickest way to a man's heart is. 9/10 will say bend over and 1/10 will say steak, beer or football.

LOL! I think you can probably see some of the limitations of limiting yourself to girls who have been with more than 10+ guys.

They may simply have a very skewed and limited understanding of their worth.

billsmithglendale
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15 Sep 2010, 2:07 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:

Ambrose_Rotten wrote:

Pistonhead wrote:

I said "way to a man's heart" did I not? That implies make him love you.

If that were the case, then why are there so many one-night-stands?

I'm not trying to shoot you down, but I'm curious of how you came to this conclusion.

I think a tiny minority of guys have one-night stands, or guys in advantageous situations. I've known a couple, and they exuded something that women found very attractive, even though these guys were very bad for them. In fairness, these same women were very often the kinds who would be bad for normal guys. Additionally, these guys were not the sharpest knives in the drawer, but did seem to have an instinct for how to play a woman.

I wouldn't encourage replicating this (a la PUA) -- the cost of doing so is often more than what it is worth. These guys do not go on to fulfilling lives, most of the time. I haven't stayed friends with the ones I knew.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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15 Sep 2010, 5:03 pm

In general, both genders make too big a deal out of sex.

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hyperlexian
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15 Sep 2010, 5:44 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

In general, both genders make too big a deal out of sex.

agreed.

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greenblue
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15 Sep 2010, 6:07 pm

I kinda miss the "Yes I am a virgin" options in the poll

JohnisBlind wrote:

Why do they do this?

The question seems somehow ambiguous, is it about pressuring a partner to have sex or something like that? I mean, there are some guys who do it, why? perhaps it may be something to do with "hormones" as someone else said earlier, and yes, pretty much I can say that people are unable to control or don't want to control some desires.

I probably could answer the question with somehow of a despective answer, from my opinion, such as, people may do so and not because they are bright but rather dumb (when it comes act before thinking about the consequences), well it may depend on the circumstances. And because the reason one person choses to mate is not for rational reasons but rather instinctual impulses.

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Erisad
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15 Sep 2010, 7:37 pm

Yup. I had a guy freak out on my friend and I for being college-age virgins. "What's your deal? Don't you know that it's the greatest thing ever?" No, I don't. Some of us are in a position where we CAN'T have sex, even if we wanted to. Of course, he then started hitting on my other friend via text messages asking "what's your story" and how far she was willing to go with a man. She never answered. When he saw us again, we just stayed on the opposite side of the room. This is the most recent occurrence of it but I'm sick of being interrogated for not having sex. It's really none of their business and I feel the only reason they ask is because they want to become my "first" just for bragging rights. That's how it went down with my most recent ex anyway. :/

*holds flame shield up*

JohnisBlind
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16 Sep 2010, 2:46 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

In general, both genders make too big a deal out of sex.

Do you know why they do this?

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