Women: How important is ________ to you?

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Being employed (moderate - I like a man who's got something to do, but it doesn't HAVE to be a job)
Quality of job (low)
Prospects for future advancement (low - if he's happy with what he's doing, I don't judge)
Having a car (low - in my current relationship, I'm the one with a car)
Quality of car (very very low)
Hair style (very low - bald or bushy, it's all good)
Size of living accommodations (low - if I am to move in with him? High. I need space to myself.)
Good neighborhood (moderate - it wouldn't stop me from dating him, but it would stop me from moving in with him)
Nice furniture (low - my boyfriend's got terrible taste!)
Organized, clean home (moderate - must not be too messy. It confuses me)
Muscle tone (low)
Skin (low)
Smile (low)
Facial Hair (either way) (low - I like beardy, but clean-shaven is good too)
Clothing style (low - as long as he doesn't judge mine)
Body shape (low)
Shared interests (moderate - must at least share one interest)
Sensitivity (moderate - he must be sensitive to my needs, and it's important to me, that he listens and tries to understand me on an emotional level)
Intelligence (moderate - I prefer men with normal-great minds. I love those moments, where his mind just sweeps me off my feet)
Effort (high - relationships are hard work and he must be willing to work on it. )
Sense of humor (moderate - high. Doesn't matter if I don't share his sense of humour though)
Confidence (moderate - I like men who are at least semi-confident being themselves)
Courage (depends on how one defines courage - I don't want a man who flees when times get rough)
Giving attention (high - I demand attention, I need him to show me, that he loves me, otherwise I don't feel his affection)
Sexual prowess (moderate - I have a high sex-drive and the erotic part of a relationship is important to me. (: )
Flirtation (low - he must not be a flirt by nature, but I like it when he tries to chat me up. )
Romantic behavior (moderate - affectionate behaviour = good, but classic romantic gestures such as bringing roses and buying presents? Low)
Persistence (moderate)
Respectfulness (high!!)
Playfulness (high - being silly together is amazing)
Spontaneity (low-moderate)
Forethought (low-moderate)
Assertiveness (moderate)
Aggressiveness (not sure how to answer this - I don't want a man with temper problems.)
Submissiveness (again - I like my men to be able to think for themselves)
Flattery (low - don't like TOO much flattery)
Openness/Sharing (high - if something is bothering you, tell me! It's important to share in a relationship)
Intensity (low)
Light-heartedness (low-moderate - everyone's entitled to bad days and bad periods)
Carefulness (low - moderate. Whatever works for him.)
Fearlessness (moderate - as long as he's willing to try helping me coping with my fears. It's important to be strong for one's partner sometimes)

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being very important.

Being employed 5
Quality of job 5
Prospects for future advancement 8
Having a car 2
Quality of car 1
Hair style 1 (I just need to be attracted, and there are many factors involved there)
Size of living accommodations 1
Good neighborhood 1
Nice furniture 1
Organized, clean home 8
Muscle tone 1
Skin 8 (must make an attempt to be clean)
Smile 8 (one of the first things I become attracted to)
Facial Hair 5
Clothing style 5
Body shape 1 (again, just have to be attracted to him)
Shared interests 8
Sensitivity 5
Intelligence 8
Effort 8
Sense of humor 10
Confidence 6
Courage 5
Giving attention 10
Sexual prowess 5
Flirtation 5
Romantic behavior 8
Persistence 5
Respectfulness 8
Playfulness 8
Spontaneity 8
Forethought 10
Assertiveness 8
Aggressiveness 3
Submissiveness 1
Flattery 5
Openness/Sharing 8
Intensity 5
Light-heartedness 8
Carefulness 8
Fearlessness 5

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being very important.

Being employed 3 (depends on situation. but i would expect him to fill his days with something, whether it is a hobby or something else)
Quality of job 1
Prospects for future advancement 1
Having a car 1
Quality of car 1
Hair style
Size of living accommodations 1
Good neighborhood 1
Nice furniture 1
Organized, clean home 2
Muscle tone 1
Skin 2
Smile 1
Facial Hair 5 (errr, most men have it, Correct? at least as stubble?)
Clothing style 2
Body shape 3
Shared interests 10
Sensitivity 9
Intelligence 10
Effort 10
Sense of humor 10
Confidence 10 (not overall confidence, but confidence in something, i.e. an ability to build HO scale trees)
Courage 8
Giving attention 10
Sexual prowess 10 (not length of time he lasts, but how creative and hardworking he is willing to be)
Flirtation 1
Romantic behavior 6
Persistence 1
Respectfulness 10
Playfulness 7
Spontaneity 3
Forethought 5
Assertiveness 5
Aggressiveness 1
Submissiveness 1
Flattery 2
Openness/Sharing 10
Intensity 8
Light-heartedness 6
Carefulness 5
Fearlessness 10
Honesty 10
Integrity 10
Creativity 10
Conversationalism 7
Pacifism 8
Altruism 6
Physically Affectionate 8

Take note that these are my ideal characteristics, but I am very flexible depending on the individual and the circumstances, and am prepared to compromise on these certainly (nobody's perfect!).

Being employed: Entirely depends on situation, but they MUST be doing something with their life.
Quality of job: Highly important. I find it strange that people think this unimportant... I'd hate to be with someone who was miserable every day because they were doing something they hate.
Prospects for future advancement: Depends on whether they're happy with what their current role is or not. In terms of personal advancement - essential.
Having a car: Not important.
Quality of car: Not important.
Hair style: Anything so long as it's clean.
Size of living accommodations: Not important.
Good neighborhood: Not important.
Nice furniture: Not important.
Organized, clean home: Somewhat important. I am a little messy myself with clothing and books, but extremely clean when it comes to things like foodstuffs.
Personal Hygiene: EXTREMELY important.
Muscle tone: Fairly unimportant, so long as they're strong enough to do basic tasks to the same level of ability I am at.
Skin: Somewhat important - cleanliness is important, scarring and the like not so much.
Smile: A good smile is nice.. not essential.
Facial Hair (either way): I prefer no facial hair. Sensory thing.
Clothing style: somewhat important. I would prefer they were able to adapt their clothing style to different situations in the same way I can, plus stylish clothing can substantially increase male attractiveness which helps.
Body shape: Not important so long as they're healthy.
Shared interests: Important. Must have at least some common ground, or be able to develop common ground.
Sensitivity: Depends. Being overly sensitive and easily offended is not a plus.
Intelligence: Important.
Effort: Very important.
Sense of humor: Not important, although being able to take a joke well is.
Confidence: Very Important. I am a very confident person, and whoever was with me would often be thrown into situations that require confidence. I don't want to have to babysit someone everywhere I go - they need to be able to fend for them-self and adapt.
Courage: Important.
Giving attention: At least some attention is essential for any relationship, too much attention is a minus.
Sexual prowess: Slightly important. I don't care if they start out absolutely terrible so long as they are able to learn and improve.
Flirtation: Slightly important.
Romantic behavior: Somewhat important. I'm still a little undecided on this one...
Persistence: Very important, again because I myself am an extremely persistent person, and there's nothing more unattractive than someone who just gives up all the time.
Respectfulness: Important only in the right contexts.
Playfulness: Important - need to be able to be playful at times as well as serious.
Spontaneity: Somewhat important only so much as they are able to adapt to changing circumstances.
Forethought: Not important - I can do all the forethinking required in the relationship.
Assertiveness: Not important.
Aggressiveness: Not important so long as they aren't extremely aggressive.
Submissiveness: Somewhat important - a little submissive is fine, so long as they aren't extremely submissive.
Flattery: Only when it's honest, and only on occasion. There's nothing worse than too much flattery.
Openness/Sharing: Extremely important.
Intensity: Extremely important. I need someone who can match my intensity, or if failing that, at least understand it and communicate through it.
Light-heartedness: Somewhat important - doesn't have to be a constantly lighthearted person, but must be capable of light-heartedness when appropriate.
Carefulness: Undecided...
Fearlessness: Undecided...


In summation, nearly all of it boils down to adaptiveness and openmindedness. They need to be very flexible and open-minded.

Can't be bothered ranking everything; I bolded anything that was important and bold+underlined the deal breakers.

Being employed (or degree if undergrad)
Quality of job (or degree if undergrad)
Prospects for future advancement
Having a car
Quality of car
Hair style
Size of living accommodations
Good neighborhood
Nice furniture (hang on seriously?? Judging a guy by his furniture??)
Organized, clean home
Muscle tone
Skin
Smile
Facial Hair (either way)
Clothing style
Body shape Obese doesn't really do it for me. Neither does anorexic. Anywhere in between is ok.
Shared interests Some are good.
Sensitivity
Intelligence
Effort
Sense of humor
Confidence
Courage
Giving attention
Sexual prowess
Flirtation
Romantic behavior
Persistence
Respectfulness
Playfulness
Spontaneity
Forethought
Assertiveness
Aggressiveness
Submissiveness
Flattery
Openness/Sharing
Intensity
Light-heartedness
Carefulness
Fearlessness

Good lord @ the long list.

Yup, I don't doubt that all the women who knew him should have been attracted to his pesky nature and his neverending questions.

Being employed: Not too important 'cause I'm a student.
Quality of job: n/a
Prospects for future advancement: I don't think about what sort of education he's getting and so on, but I think about if he would work hard to get what he wants and stuff.
Having a car: Immediately? not important. Eventually? Would be pretty nice.
Quality of car: who cares?
Hair style: -10 out of ten
Size of living accommodations: I would be happy if he had his own place to live
Good neighborhood: is a plus
Nice furniture: furniture, nice or not, is a plus. I would love to go good will shopping for a couch.
Organized, clean home: He would need to be fairly clean...I have a tendency to take over on organization.
Muscle tone: not important
Skin: it would be cool if he had skin
Smile: I love a good smile
Facial Hair (either way): I don't really like or dislike it
Clothing style: A good style might initially attract me to someone, but very, very rarely does it make me less attracted to them. So 1 out of 10.
Body shape: 1. I'm less likely to be attracted to an extremely overweight person, but I have definitely crushed on some overweight guys.
Shared interests: I love a guy with different interests than me so I can learn new stuff from him.
Sensitivity: 3
Intelligence: very important
Effort: ------
Sense of humor: A big fat 10. Very important.
Confidence: important
Courage: ---------
Giving attention: 3
Sexual prowess: -----
Flirtation: I don't care if a guy is flirty, sometimes I prefer the slightly awkward guys.
Romantic behavior: I'm not much for romance.
Persistence: very important
Respectfulness: also very important
Playfulness: something else that's very important
Spontaneity: I'm fine if someone has this quality, but I don't look for it. I just want us to be able to tolerate one another if either of us ever feels spontaneous.
Forethought: ----
Assertiveness: 2
Aggressiveness: 3
Submissiveness: 2
Flatter: 0
Openness/Sharing: 8...I want someone very open. It doesn't have to be like 'let's talk about our feelings', just 'let's talk about anything.'
Intensity: 3
Light-heartedness: 5
Carefulness: As in caring for me, like if I'm sick? 10
Fearlessness: -------

Some I didn't know how to answer.

On a scale of 0 to 10:


Being employed 0
Quality of job 0
Prospects for future advancement 0
Having a car 0 (prefer if he has no car, since I find them wasteful, and bad for the environment)
Quality of car 0 (would lose points for having a nice car, actually)
Hair style 0 (unless maybe he looked totally ridiculous, like a Ronald Reagan pompadour)
Size of living accommodations 0
Good neighborhood 0
Nice furniture 0
Organized, clean home 1 (wouldn't want it to be appalling, like the houses on the TV show about hoarders)
Muscle tone 0
Skin 0
Smile 2
Facial Hair (either way) 0
Clothing style 0 (I would be turned off by someone who was slick in his clothing, but not by a slob)
Body shape 2 (almost any body shape is fine, but if someone is enormously fat that would be an issue)
Shared interests 10
Sensitivity 10
Intelligence 10
Effort 8
Sense of humor 8
Confidence 0
Courage 0
Giving attention 5
Sexual prowess 0
Flirtation 0
Romantic behavior 2
Persistence 0
Respectfulness 8
Playfulness 7
Spontaneity 0
Forethought 4
Assertiveness 0
Aggressiveness 0 (I wouldn't want him to be aggressive, but I'm not sure how to rate that)
Submissiveness 0
Flattery 0
Openness/Sharing 3
Intensity 0
Light-heartedness 4
Carefulness 0
Fearlessness 0

The quality I'm interested in most is kindness, along with intelligence. I also could not date someone who had different political views or who said or thought things that I consider hateful or ignorant.

That statement is so full of non intentional ironing it pressed my shirt through the screen
Apparently his wife was quite the firebrand as it happens, but he liked that, yay for Socrates

I said about honesty.

Why do you have to be twice my age? I think kindness is the one thing I actually get right nowadays...

I think a lot of women are interested in these things, it is not specific to bee33. You just have to find them.

I agree. All women don't fit the stereotype of wanting a suave, rich guy who showers them with gifts. But it might have to do with age too. You'll notice I rated most of the attributes on the list as 0. When it comes down to it, all that really matters in a partner is that he is a good person, with similar interests, beliefs and a similar level of intelligence. Perhaps it takes some life experience to come to that realization.

Does that mean I have to wait until I'm 42 to even begin looking? I would have to give up my dreams of raising a family... not to mention I don't know if I could make it 20 more years all alone...

No. Plenty of women figure this out at a younger age, as I myself have. Some take longer. Every single person is different, and there will be a woman your age like this.

Yes, exactly. Remember, you don't have to please all women. you just need to find one who appreciates you.