Aspies with good jobs. Has it helped a lot?

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Merle
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03 Oct 2010, 5:45 pm

Most of the time, the job doesn't matter. A good job which helps you strengthen your social skills will help magnitudes more than one where you're a social pariah. A high paying job will increase your worth in the eyes of many women as it helps determine status in society, but so will a fairly large family inheritence.

Muscles? Not one damn bit. Don't be overweight and have some tone, you'll be fine.

1. Social skills. This includes a sense of humor, being able to talk and mostly able to listen.
2. Have money. You need to be able to afford clothing, food and shelter. A car will help.
3. Weight. Don't be morbidly obese (unless #1 and #2 compensate). HWP is what you are aiming for.

Ultimately the job should be the means by which you meet young ladies, work on #1 and grow #2.



Laz
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03 Oct 2010, 5:58 pm

Some jobs can be anti-relationship. In the sense that they involve anti social hours or being on call out of hours due to the responsibility of your position.

What actually is more beneficial is the skills you develop and the level of professional and/or academic attainment you achieve through getting to that point.

I find now as someone with a professional registration I have a much easier time of things in finding work and getting places. But also I have gained skills to critically analyse and weigh up judgements which also impact on how I approach aspects of my personal life and interaction with other people.

In some respects that carries far more of an impact on how I operate as a person then the position I hold myself. Yes the income is fairly nice and moderate and approaching above average but its not the be all and end all of what would attract someone for a relationship.



Slayer_1425
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03 Oct 2010, 11:35 pm

It's no secret having a good job will attract women to you; however, if you can't hold a basic conversation with another woman, all that money won't matter because no woman will be interested in a man whom she can't even have a simple conversation with. And why should she?

I understand with asperger's it's a lot harder to make friends especially at the meet and greet stage (small talk), but importantly it's not impossible. So you should work on improving your social skills around others, if that's one of your concerns. Perhaps get a copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

It is important you actually put yourself out there, and meet women. Just remember though at the end of the day, for most guys out there, dating is a numbers game.



ToughDiamond
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04 Oct 2010, 9:02 am

I don't know from first-hand experience whether it makes any difference or not - I got one partner while I was pretty much unemployed, so it's clearly not a universal deal-breaker. The rest of the time I've had a job paying the modal wage (or thereabouts)....nobody ever said "Good! I wouldn't even look at you if you didn't have a job!" but recently I've noticed that a lot of mainstream women are rather like that, which worries me, as I don't feel it's any of their business, if they can work themselves. I don't think I'd be happy with a woman who felt deeply that she was entitled to being pampered in that respect.......it comes over to me as weakness or a cynical attempt to turn a loving relationship into some kind of long-term prostitution transaction. For me, it's just two equals seeing if they can become good friends....if anybody wants to take the "equal" out of that, then OK if they insist, but they can forget fair play - if I'm paying for something, I'm the boss - which isn't my idea of a relationship at all. How long is it going to be before men expect women to have reasonably good jobs? And how long before somebody realises that if you're both working non-standard hours, you're not going to be seeing each other very much? To my mind, that's more important that just having/not having jobs. But in spite of the mainstream passion for romanticism, it seems that the life force of the relationship (quality time together) is for sale. More like a child factory than a loving relationship.



RICKY5
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07 Oct 2010, 11:09 pm

Women are hypergamous by nature. A good job and money offer buying power.



ApsieGuy
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08 Oct 2010, 6:18 am

RICKY5 wrote:
Women are hypergamous by nature. A good job and money offer buying power.



I was expecting this lol



Space
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10 Oct 2010, 10:54 am

depends what you mean by good job. I think most women don't care that much what you do, as long as you have a job other than mcdonalds. Some jobs carry a lot of prestige though, like doctor. You will attract golddiggers with a job like that.



ApsieGuy
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10 Oct 2010, 11:14 am

Space wrote:
depends what you mean by good job. I think most women don't care that much what you do, as long as you have a job other than mcdonalds. Some jobs carry a lot of prestige though, like doctor. You will attract golddiggers with a job like that.


So, let me put it this way.

Say there were TWO guys:


1.) The guy is a bodybuilder with a decent job(nurse,x-ray tech) great with kids, a hard worker, and knows how to treat a women.


2.) Has a GREAT job...However, his social skills suck....and he is unattractive.


I assume guy 1 would win



Grisha
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10 Oct 2010, 11:22 am

High income - social skills = romantic zero

With mathematical certainty, at least in my case.

I've had a $100K plus income for years (not bragging, I'm older than most here and closer to my peak earning potential) and I'm self-employed (security) and I live in an expensive area where such incomes don't go as far as elsewhere.

Might as well be twirling signs on the street corner for the good it has done me romantically.

Whaaaaah!! !

At least I have nice toys to play with. :wink:



Merle
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10 Oct 2010, 11:45 am

Grisha wrote:
High income - social skills = romantic zero

With mathematical certainty, at least in my case.

I've had a $100K plus income for years (not bragging, I'm older than most here and closer to my peak earning potential) and I'm self-employed (security) and I live in an expensive area where such incomes don't go as far as elsewhere.

Might as well be twirling signs on the street corner for the good it has done me romantically.

Whaaaaah!! !

At least I have nice toys to play with. :wink:


QFT.



KaiG
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10 Oct 2010, 4:44 pm

ApsieGuy wrote:
My social skills are slightly below average.......not terrible...

Anyway, I read somewhere on here that women will overlook a lot if you have enough superficial crap.......

i guess

That mindset assumes that all women are fungible; that you're looking for any woman, rather than someone who will be compatible with you. That's not the best idea, IMO.


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ApsieGuy
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10 Oct 2010, 5:07 pm

Grisha wrote:
High income - social skills = romantic zero

With mathematical certainty, at least in my case.

I've had a $100K plus income for years (not bragging, I'm older than most here and closer to my peak earning potential) and I'm self-employed (security) and I live in an expensive area where such incomes don't go as far as elsewhere.

Might as well be twirling signs on the street corner for the good it has done me romantically.

Whaaaaah!! !

At least I have nice toys to play with. :wink:



and your good looking too....(not gay)

So, that proves that good looking+ money-social skills=no girl....


Wow, aspergers DOES really suck. So, not matter how hard I try, I wll never be able to succefully have a relationship. No matter how much money,looks cars, and social skills I fake...aspergers is still there



Grisha
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10 Oct 2010, 6:24 pm

Quote:
So, that proves that good looking+ money-social skills=no girl....
Wow, aspergers DOES really suck. So, not matter how hard I try, I wll never be able to succefully have a relationship. No matter how much money,looks cars, and social skills I fake...aspergers is still there


1. Yes, Aspergers does indeed suck.
2. I am not a "40-year-old virgin", I have managed a few relationships over the years, including an awful marriage which turned out to be an immigration scam. :oops:

It's like the lottery, your chances aren't good, but you gotta play...

Also, I think it makes the "victories" (and there WILL be a few) even sweeter, that's got to count for something, right? We get to experience a first kiss that we will remember forever, NT Alphas just throw the used condom on the floor and think "next".

Good luck!!



ApsieGuy
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10 Oct 2010, 6:33 pm

Grisha wrote:
Quote:
So, that proves that good looking+ money-social skills=no girl....
Wow, aspergers DOES really suck. So, not matter how hard I try, I wll never be able to succefully have a relationship. No matter how much money,looks cars, and social skills I fake...aspergers is still there


1. Yes, Aspergers does indeed suck.
2. I am not a "40-year-old virgin", I have managed a few relationships over the years, including an awful marriage which turned out to be an immigration scam. :oops:

It's like the lottery, your chances aren't good, but you gotta play...

Also, I think it makes the "victories" (and there WILL be a few) even sweeter, that's got to count for something, right? We get to experience a first kiss that we will remember forever, NT Alphas just throw the used condom on the floor and think "next".

Good luck!!



Might as well throw this out there,

Why are people in california better looking/smarter than people in other areas.



Grisha
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10 Oct 2010, 8:07 pm

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Might as well throw this out there,

Why are people in california better looking/smarter than people in other areas.


Absolutely NOT true - it's a myth, inadvertently propogated by Hollywood.

I believe I'm qualified to say this, I was born/raised and have lived here my whole life. In general, the women in any major big city in a "blue" state (Chicago, New York etc.) make my eyes pop out of my skull on a regular basis - and people from any given college town (Cambridge, MA and Georgetown DC) are noticably smarter. Of course this is an overgeneralization, but I always get this strong impression these areas are better in these ways than LA/California.



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10 Oct 2010, 11:33 pm

Grisha wrote:
Quote:


Might as well throw this out there,

Why are people in california better looking/smarter than people in other areas.


Absolutely NOT true - it's a myth, inadvertently propogated by Hollywood.



I'm really reluctant to disagree, because I sense you have lots of experience. But... well... I personally didn't find that to be a stereotype. I mean, I'm just saying, I've noticed the women in Michigan, Florida and California tend to have looked more comely than when I visited Wisconsin. Probably not smarter, but noticeably more pretty.