My trouble with women

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LOL @ two countries separated by a common language.

With every hot gal I encounter, I always end up assuming that they're all taken.

It's been a while, so I'm bumping this thread.

I've posted my woman troubles on another site, and everyone there keeps telling me to just grow a pair and ask a girl out. It seems easier said than done.

24...well that's great. Good luck growing a pair. I'm 28 and a female so there..it took me longer no where. You'll have your reasons for why it didn't happen so don't bother.

How's that supposed to help my situation?

One of the keys to being a good conversationalist is focusing on the other person and not yourself. Don't talk too long about you, but rather deflect the conversation back onto the other person. Ask them about something they've done or something they might have an opinion about. And while they're talking, really listen. Don't be distracted or be thinking about the next thing you're going to say.

Weiss_Yohji, I wasn't very helpful with my comments earlier, so here's a thing that might help you out.

Anxiety is at the root of many of the problems I used to face. I think anxiety might be the key here too, and good news, there's things you can do about it.

If you can relax you can easily cope with making faux pas, messing up or whatever, because you're not all rigid and immobilised. You can be quick with an apology, joke, action that remedies whatever.

Learn a relaxation technique, and learn it well. One that you can use when you're out and about, preferably. Learn to be at ease. Learn to monitor your mental, emotional and physical state, and then consciously let go of any tension. Initially this will take work, but eventually you'll be freer to operate with less impedance.

After some time you'll probably notice that things are improving, and that will give you more confidence and your progress will be better still. Like a feedback loop.

Learn to be at one with the flow of things, young grasshopper

Women don't demand perfect confidence.

Do you think all the men out there who have girlfriends/wives are absolute alpha males? No. Of course not. But they did have enough confidence to talk to the woman they liked.

I have a friend who's actually very outgoing and NT. He has no problem getting a woman at all. You would think he had no insecurities whatsoever. However I've engaged in many hours of conversations with him where he has absolutely insisted that he's ugly, or that people don't like him, or that he's never going to get a raise, that no woman will want to marry him because he can't support a family, and so on.

He has massive self confidence issues. But he also has a short attention span so when he see's a woman he likes, he momentarily forgets about these insecurities long enough to go up and say hello to her.

Yeah, in my past I've had more difficulty talking to women that I knew liked me more than women that I liked. I don't know why but my brain will stumble around for words and I will get more wish-washy with my opinions. I don't really feel like myself around them, at least until I get to know them better. I sort of hate knowing someone likes me because I suddenly feel like I need to be more aware of their feelings.