what women want

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Just have to say "Thank You", Groovy Druid. You've explained what I've seen and experienced but never properly understood

Somewhere there's an organisation who specialise in teaching guys the tricks to just 'pick up women'. Unfortunately I forget the name, although I've read about them . One of the key moves is a kind of 'barbed compliment' such as "Your hair looks really nice - is it real"? (seriously!). Apparently this intrigues women much more than common-or-garden slushy compliments. The whole system becomes pretty much a game - which is what you're saying. In the article I read, women were like *really* stroppy about this whole 'immoral' concept. YET apparently it is a mega-succesful method and has many satisfied members

There's a book I highly recommend to you: "THE SYSTEM: How to Get Laid Today!" by Roy Valentine.

GroovyDruid, you've hit the nail RIGHT ON THE HEAD,

I don't care if the feminists are offended by what you've said, because they know it's true - just no woman will admit it.

I already knew that after some idiot women told me I was "too inexperienced" after they asked me how many women I had kissed previously. One of them told me this the day after telling me that inexperience was okay with her.

Women keep saying that they want to move slowly. But from my observations, it never happens that way. If you wait too long, you lose your chance. Waiting too long shows a lack of "confidence", that thing that women arbitrarily decided they want from men.

The question is, how does one seduce a woman without hitting her or touching her breasts? I'm not looking to get into bed, but nonetheless I want to seduce her.

And, what the hell is so great about having a sense of humour? I don't see any need for it.

Not that I'm acusing you of this, (your last statement pretty much shows you're not the type) but the idea of using women for sex, and books on how to do it offends me.

On the other hand, some women probably want to "Played". In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them knew exactly what was going on.

I so hope you're right as I believe I'm top-notch in the respect, compassion and integrity departments. Not too bad at making people laugh either! But something doesn't compute as I've been rejected many times and been ignored so often I even started ignoring myself. So what's happening here?

Total speculation, but here goes: these attributes have to be visible. Instantly. How can you tell how much compassion and integrity someone has when in a 300db volume nightclub with lazers burning your retinas? Looks, physique, good clothing and macho dancing ability are all thats going to get communicated here. And I rate less than zero in these areas.

I believe these admirable qualities may be desirable for serious relationship, but not for a quick fling. Also that the man must be above a certain level of physical attractiveness too. You're joking about the hunchback with no teeth, surely??! ! A man who has all these qualities yet was at the back of the queue whan God handed out the faces, is (I monologue from experience) likely to have many 'platonic' female friends. Sadly, these will never cross the divide and become lovers, even though they continually say that they admire you for your "respect, compassion, intelligence, kindness to animals and children etc etc "!

Presumably, if one is frequently 'serial dating', then is it right to assume that the men you are attracted to do not actually possess these characteristics to the level you thought when you first met them? So not only must a man have these qualities (many of them don't), women must be able to detect them (many of them can't) . Our shared lack of success at this is reflected in the 50% divorce rate!

The other possibility is that this is what Anandamide and her friends want. Maybe you wanted something different when younger? I'm sure all women don't want the same thing, anyway, so maybe there are those after something different. Power, influence and a huge bank account, perhaps

Listen up guys.

I've read a few posts here where Aspie men are asking what women want, or lamenting that women only go for men who are goodlooking or have alot of money. That is so WRONG.

I feel somewhat qualified to speak about this because when I was younger I was one of those women who got hit on alot.

I can tell you what women want. Women want respect, compassion, integrity, and someone to make them laugh. If you can sincerely (and it must be sincerely!) fulfill those qualities you will automatically be the man who fulfills most women's dreams.

You could be penniless,

you could look like quasimodo, you could be a hunchback with no teeth, and three hairs on your head, but if you approach women with respect, compassion, integrity, and can make them laugh, you will be the kind of man that women want.

It's true!

Yeah, you REALLY need to read that book. Seduction has more to do with NOT touching than touching. It has to do with setting a woman up to think she can almost but not quite have you, then controlling her in a way she wants to be controlled.

The local public library system does not carry that book, unfortunately! Care to share???

Above all, women want to play games. (Which is hilarious, because women swear up and down they hate games and wish someone would just be real...) Respect is antithetical to playing the game well. If you show deference or esteem, you are acknowledging that you are playing by a woman's rules, i.e., you've already lost, and you become about as interesting as a chair. Women tell you they want to have the control that respect gives them, but they actually go home with the guy who acts like he doesn't care, and even makes a few pointedly disrespectful remarks to show he's in control, and you can go to heck if you don't like it. Those guys get to pick and choose their women.

Another thing women want that goes against respect is romance. Women want to be seduced, and seduction is a lie. It can be a harmless one, depending on the circumstance, but it's NEVER respectful. Women want and expect that lie, and they brutally reject any man who can't supply it.

Guys who naturally give deference or esteem to women either learn fast to hide it or get destroyed. That's not to say one has to be a total A-hole (although that seems to work for a lot of guys); nevertheless, respect in every sense of the word says that you're admitting to a woman you either want her or are afraid of her in some way, and if she senses either of these qualities in you, she knows she can do better, and off she goes. She wants the man she's not sure she can have, and that man is not repsectful. No, he's the one who can show his merits in the game.

The one exception to this: men who are powerful, famous, or known to be very rich. These men don't even have to play the game of seduction and courtship to have women. They don't have to make anybody laugh, or show compassion, feigned or otherwise. Wealth, power, and fame are turn-ons enough. Women want those for their own sake.

That's not to say that what you said is completely wrong. Part of the game is being able to joke around and at least feign compassion and interest in a woman's life. But to say that it's simple, that women just want compassion, respect, and a funny guy is like saying: "Baseball is a simple game in which you sweep dirt off the home plate." There's a whole game there not being allowed for.

Now, I'll even admit that honest respect, compassion, and humor might work with one magical person or your soulmate; but to give that as general advice to men is akin to throwing them to the wolves. They'll get ripped to shreds and come limping away wondering why they were:

politely tolerated
ignored
laughed at behind their backs
ignored
openly ridiculed
ignored
rejected
and then ... ignored.

ManErg, I noticed your posts right away because you seem, at least from your online persona, to be exactly the sort of man that women like to be around. I would compare someone like you to a gourmet dinner.

That attitude will be evident to women in countless ways no matter how hard you try to "feign" respect, compassion and integrity for women. What that low opinion of women actually amounts to is a hatred of women, and it stereotypes women through their sexuality. Who wants to be around someone who secretly hates them?

I think it should be obvious that I don't literally speak for all women. I was speaking CONTEXTUALLY that in my experience women would rather be charmed by a guy with great personality than go out with a "ken doll" or someone who wants to buy their affection with his money.

I said that a man "could" be Quasimodo and still find ways to charm a woman, if he had the right inner qualities. Obviously Quasimodo would have to work to overcome his deficit in physical attractiveness by using his inner qualities to charm a woman, but it can be done.

Those inner qualities can add up to alot of charm. The most charismatic men are not necessarily the best looking. I've seen it happen many a time.