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How do you know if you love someone?

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Asp-Z
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14 Oct 2010, 10:18 am

ducky9924 wrote:
I've been in a relationship with a man for over a year now, and I'm trying to figure out if I love him or am just "going with the flow'. He treats me well, has never been pushy and has generally been a great guy, but I'm still not sure. I'm afraid I'm staying with him just to spare his feelings or to avoid being alone for life (running outta time here, I'm 28 and a overweight aspie. Frankly he's my only non-family social contact at this pt). But I'm also afraid that I'm just not used to a functional relationship and am just afraid of putting myself all the way out there, or am just being self destructive, wanting to push away the only man who's been worth a damn.


If you love someone, you just know it. The feeling is like super-euphoria but with butterflies in your stomach, and you think about the person you love all the time and always want to be with them for the rest of your life.



cmjust0
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14 Oct 2010, 12:07 pm

Those three little words -- "I love you" -- put "I" before "you" everytime. That's not a coincidence...there's something to it. People will tell you that love is a lot of things, most of which indicate a certain selflessness, but my own view is that love is inherently selfish.. Love isn't really about the other person -- it's about how WE feel when WE are around that other person.

I'm tempted to simply ask how you feel when you're around him, but that's not a fair question and the answer -- at the moment, at least -- is fairly obvious. You're uncomfortable...nervous...perhaps even downright scared.. Torn.. Confused.. Unsure.. Unsettled..

So just toss him out of the equation for a minute and ask yourself this question: How do you *want* to feel around the person with whom you're going to spend the rest of your life? If you can think of what you might want that to feel like, then does the way you're feeling right now measure up? Have you ever ever felt that way around this person?



Cricket2731
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16 Oct 2010, 10:52 am

There's a big difference between being in love & being in lust. Lust frequently fades. Love becomes a form of deep-long-term, enduring friendship. If you truly love someone, you'll put up with just about anything (physical/mental/emotional abuse is a major no-no), especially when you're ready smack them upside the head so hard that the great-grandkids will feel it! :lol:



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Oct 2010, 11:01 am

Dump him, tell him that you don't love him and make him hates you for a while.

If you feel you're wishing to die afterward then you surely love him.