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Do you try to be 'perfect' for your partner?

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pandorazmtbox
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21 Oct 2010, 5:14 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Well here's a question for you: what if there is no Mr/Mrs Right in existence? What do you do then?


Learn to love yourself. There is no Mr./Mrs. Right even when you find them if you need them to fill up your gaps and insecurities. I think there might be a lot more potential matches if I can just master step one. Let me know if you get there, ToadOfSteel, I'll be right behind. :)


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Kaybee
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21 Oct 2010, 5:46 pm

I'm just me. If my faults and weaknesses keep a person from loving me, then I do not want to be with that person, anyway. I don't try to be perfect, but I do strive for continual self-improvement. I try to be the best person I can be. I don't specifically do this for my partner or potential partner--I do it for myself and for everyone.


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ToadOfSteel
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21 Oct 2010, 9:53 pm

Moog wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Well here's a question for you: what if there is no Mr/Mrs Right in existence? What do you do then?


Learn to love Mr. or Mrs. Nearly Right.


That's what I was meaning by trying to mold myself to fit better... I can't change someone else, but I can change myself to better fit someone else... I just have to mold myself more than others would



Geist
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25 Oct 2010, 6:01 am

pandorazmtbox wrote:
Geist wrote:
Isn't trying to be something you aren't just a disaster waiting to happen? I'd rather be alone and happily waiting for my Mr Right, then be with someone who wants me to be something other than I am. Simply living takes up too much of my energy I couldn't handle 'acting' too. My friends have griped about my ways, but they've also commented that they always know what to expect from me and they respect that. Being something you aren't is typical NT imo.


It is a disaster. You know what pleases me most about your comment? That you know enough about yourself to respect and meet your own needs. I was never diagnosed and was told all my life to suck it up and conform--until I started telling myself that, too. Eventually, the disaster catches you. All you can be is you, all anyone should ask of you is to be you. Good for you, Geist! :D


Why thank you. :D You made me chuckle though... you pat me on the back when most would call me an ice queen for being so blunt.


ToadOfSteel wrote:
Well here's a question for you: what if there is no Mr/Mrs Right in existence? What do you do then?


Let me ask you a question in turn then... Are you really looking for Mr/Mrs. Right... or do you want Mr./Mrs. Perfect?

Anyone is going to be an adjustment. I've already found two Mr Rights that I could see myself happily spending the rest of my life with, so I do know they are out there. Unfotunately... they were both already in relationships, so it was more about bad timing than anything. If their woman ever make the mistake of letting them slip from their grip I'm pouncing!! :wink:



boosterjones
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29 Oct 2010, 6:01 am

As for me although I'm happy with my GF as just she is, if I was with someone that loved me but was not my 'type' (i.e. sassy, laid back, giddy and girly) I'd have most likely been quite happy if that said girl was to try and pretend to be my 'perfect' partner whenever she'd have been with me.

After all it's better than nothing isn't it?

I would not have expoted her or anything, as she'd still love me, the only thing she'd have been changing about herself would have been her outward attachude and possbuly looks.

All it would have been is a case of "if you'll sratch my back, I'll sratch yours".

After all if your bf thinks that you look nice in a pink dress but you don't normally go for that kind of thing, all you have to do is wear the frikin dress whenever you are on a date with him and the like!! !! !!

I would not have bullied her into it though, but I'd have still told her that if she really loved me she'd do that kind of thing for me purely to make herself more attractve to me.

I can't speak for guy's doing this kind of thing for their gf's but I'm sure that it happens nonetheless...

Although it's not a good idea, I can see how it can work for some people, and if I was put into a posstion where my gf attaude was an act, then I'd have most likely been fine with it.

Goodbye Till Next Time