Ladies: I'm curious....

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Love the idiosyncratic beard.

Yea, it's more a matter of logical pattern rather than gender in fact.

Notice, the less successful the individual is in attracting people the less picky becomes (especially regarding looks) and the more aware they become of their unattractiveness the less picky they become too. Most people would be able to determine their attractiveness' level by looking back at their past: how many guys that approached them? how many dates they got? how many girls accepted their dance advances ? do they still virgin? how old singles they are? etc......

If many answers are zero or extremely low then one's must really leaks attractiveness (looks and personality wise alike).


Take ToadOfSteel for example , he's almost zero in all of those , he just got one gf for very few months and nothing serious was developed between them.

His standard now is just one : "a girl who might like him" , nothing else.

Shekaboy has a similar standard too.


I am starting to have a similar to this only-one-standard , mine is more like "Well, if she would never potentially like me then why should I appreciate her looks by drooling over it?" , I usually think of this when I see a very physically hot girl (or even a regular girl) while I previously knew that she would never like me because of some physical trait I have that completely turns her off like height or looks or even non-physical trait such as social status (real example: a hot girl that I overheard her saying that she would never date someone poorer).

Seriously, why should I reward her back by worshiping her looks and fantasizing about her day and night? I would just not giving a f--- and move on.

She doesn't care about me (and would never ever) then I should not care about her, tit for tat .

I see it all the time, average-looking guys humiliating themselves for the attention of some hot girl who wouldn't give the f**k about them yet she likes the attention but gives none back.

As much she's not entitled to like me, I am also not entitled to worship her looks and fantasizing about having a date with her.

As for celebs ...some of them I find hot, true , but I need to know if the girl who would resemble any of them would potentially give me the chance to like me , otherwise I wouldn't care.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 29 Oct 2010, 6:16 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I'm one of the very few, too, I guess...no BF...but not by choice. It's tough when you get to be my age, I think, because in this area, all the decent guys are married/involved and I feel like there was this window of opportunity in my mid-20s or so that I missed out on. When one gives up hope of ever finding someone to cherish your differences, it's better to fantasize about random hot celebrities--because they are clearly unattainable. To everyone. Whereas the cute guy in your class or nice guy at the comic book store is only off limits to you. Sad and pathetic, I know. But true.

I'm not sure this is necessarily true. A total of three girls have been attracted to me, yet ToadOfSteel has had a girlfriend and I have not. Yes, my standards are reasonable, but I think Toad's problem is more his extremely low self-esteem than his physical attractiveness. In my case, how much I like the other person's personality can make them look more or less physically attractive to me, so if this is how the girls who meet ToadOfSteel work, then maybe that is why he isn't getting much interest.

Well then, I will elaborate further. The faceless man(If not faceless, usually some generic model face) in my thoughts is usually dairk haired and wearing a suit. I don't know why.
Of course I can't give you an exact picture, but I posted that one of Christian Bale because it was close enough. It's got nothing to do with personalities.

Dumbest theory i've ever heard. Maybe the real verdict here is women can understand threads like this better than men. I didn't pic a picture because it was a celeb. Theres probably more accurate non celeb ones. How are we supposed to find them? You can't search for Mr nobody on google.

Or maybe you dont want to admit that you're really just after looks...

I never understood why it's so bad to go for looks?
Although personally i find when i learn someones character and i like it their face becomes really attractive any way despite my initial opinions. Same as if they have an ugly character their face then becomes horrible to me, even if they're classically attractive, or whatever.

I like to look at pretty people, so what?

I'm concerned that I might one day decide that I really don't want to be alone anymore, and by then it will be too late, and I will think what a fool I was to spend my 20s not dating. This thought doesn't compel me to go out and look for a boyfriend, but it is there in the back of my mind, telling me that I'm sealing my own fate.

To answer the OP's question: I don't envision anything. However, I took a moment to do so after reading the question. I can only imagine specific individuals, really, but if I make an effort not to do so, I can narrow it down to two characteristics:
1. He's taller than I am.
2. He has brown hair.
I have always been rather partial to these qualities.

Or maybe you don't know me from Adam. This post annoys me because its just not true.

Nothing wrong with going for looks... if you admit it.

Although if they then turn out to have a bad personality, bye byee, no one is THAT attractive that their looks make up for a horrible personality.

lucky for me my boyf looks like John Stamos AND has the nicest personality ever. :3

The use of the word "envision" led me to believe we were talking about visible physical attributes. Not to mention the request for a picture.

I understand where you are coming from, and also understand how it makes things a lot easier (and in my mind, easier for me too, because it really disturbs me if I know a guy is "drooling" over me... *shudder* I don't know... it makes me happy when ppl think I'm pretty or good looking, but any further scares me (but hey, I'm rather disturbed by sexuality in general, so definitely rooted from that))

But on the other hand, there are some pretty girls out there who aren't looking for Mr. Fancypants, and want someone for non-physical traits, and for some beautiful and extremely pretty women, a lot of men feel that she'd never look at her, or they'd never have a chance, so pass her by (and sometimes, other women feel inferior to her, and get jealous thinking she has everything, so don't become friends with her either)... there is a strange amount of discord from it... theres a fair bit of beautiful women who are lonely because people overassume things about her physical traits (that she'd only go for x-type of man, that she's prissy, that she has everything she'd ever need, that she's too good for them, etc)

I'm not saying every pretty woman out there is like that, but it does happen, just a strange little paradoxical happening

As for me... I honestly wish I could say I wasn't shallow and looks don't matter... but the truth of the matter is, its nice to look at someone and admire them. Sure you can admire their emotional/intellectial capabilities, but that is a lot less tangible than a nice face, or good figure. It might be because I'm an extremely visual person that it affects me so... on the one hand, I'm completely and utterly horrified and disgusted that looks DO matter to me, but on the other, I can't lie to myself and say it doesn't.

Its not just men and women, its everything for me... cute pets, cute items, cute drawings... just seeing a simple perfect shape makes me happy... when I do my homework, I spend just as much time drawing and redrawing the diagram (engineering problems, so springs, falling masses, structures, etc) as I do doing the actual problem sometimes... I will sit there and admire it and admire it when it comes out nice. When I write something, and the letters actually are formed right and looks good, I get incredibly happy... I enjoy using engineering paper because it allows me to separate and draw things in a nice fashion, and I end up enjoying/getting happy merely from writing down the problem, and seeing how beautiful each loop and curl of my letters are... even if overall the thing is messy and my handwriting sucks, as I write it, I'm like "damn, thats a nice g, look at that loop... oh look how nice this p is, too bad letter next to it is gorgeous too but skewed in proportion to it"). I have even taken pictures of words that have come out good looking, because it affects me that much....

I generally love seeing the contrast between different outlines and how perfect the difference is... the pole on my lamp compared to wall next to it, perfect straight lines in difference, etc... I look at almost everything this way... so when it comes to people, because people are imperfect and not created by machines, and vary by every emotion, every motion, every clothing, shaving, etc, I generally don't find them that attractive. 80% of the population is a big "whatever" to me, about 2% is nice looking, and 8% actually ugly to me... (for men, for women its much more like uh... 60% whatever, 40% pretty, partially because the feminine shape itself is appealing, nice curves, nice outline, partially because the female face is hairless and a lot less angular, so much nicer outline, and partially because women in general seem pretty, and I can instantly see their attractive qualities, because either I'm used to seeing it from tv/self/peoplepromottingit, verses guys who society just assumes its instantaneous for women to find attractive, and I never really learned what I should look for and what qualities are attractive, so have to actually spend time and isolate key parts to tell me that this-part-of-them-looks-good, and that the rest doesnt look BAD so they're "ok")

So... its been eatting on me, because while I do like to admire people/shapes/cuteness/etc, I've only ever fallen for one person, and he honestly fell within that notgoodlooking range. I clearly did not fall for him for looks, but every time I see him I kinda get a little sad and wish that he was nicer/smootheroutlineorsomething so I could just look and admire, but instead really wanna hang out, but sometimes don't even wanna look at him... :X I'm trying to give myself time, and looking for things, and trying to tell myself over and over again that it doesn't matter, etc... and honestly it SHOULDN'T matter, but still irks me sometimes. (Not enough to decline dating him though, should he ask). There are a few things that have come through, like when he's in motion and doing stuff, notice how (annoyingly) graceful he is and stuff, so working through my initial assessment and trying to bypass/ignore it, and hopefully do succeed, but hey, this is the truth of the matter.

As for what would I envision, were I to go on a date with someone/potential bf? I don't have any visions... like I said, I don't find too many guys attractive, and not looking for an attractive person... don't really even think of people that way in general, so when not around anyone, my memories of them are foggy, and my mental images of characters/them are just sorta blankish shapes with tags on them saying x-characteristic. Mom: curly hair, fair build, amusing, colorful clothing, longish face... that's about all, just this generic foggy humanoid bubble with a few ideas associated, and no actual image. I'm the same way about myself, so I go in bathroom and see my face and get a little surprised each time, because I forget that this physical body is really what I look like... not that I expect to be a guy, or a short girl, or whatever, just so used to thinking of me as a thought/entity, that I don't really recall/remember what I look like, and surprised that that's actually what I look like.

So in the end... personality is DEFINITELY the most important to me, but it would be very nice to at least have someone neutral that you can admire some physical traits (because I look at things and think about its aesthetics before other things, and also in case of the person I like... he's TOO good personality wise... makes me feel incredibly inferior, because each one of his intellectual/emotional traits and capabilities exceed mine, so thinking about them tends to make me think about how crappy I am in comparison, whereas looking at someone/something I just enjoy the eye pleasing outlines and colors and forms)

[sorryforhugeresponse]

Interesting. I've never had any kind of requirements about looks and seem to have a very different perception of what's ugly or not, but I have maybe unreasonably high standards in other regards. What makes things different for me is that I never saw a relationship as prerequisite to happiness. I'm married now - although I have no interest in a "normal family" lifestyle (you know, mortgage, kids bla bla bla) but I felt perfectly fine by myself and wasn't looking for a partner - maybe if I was desperate to find someone I would have seen these things in a different light.