Does love even exist?

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yes it does.
i have not much love in my soul, but i know i have some and i know love is the most powerful force that drives me.

i love my friend tammy completely. she loves only me.

she is mentally handicapped and she is not someone i can pour my thoughts out to. she is fat and not very smart and she does not have the ingredients that would make most people see her as someone to love.

she is selfish and she is not interested in conversations that are not explicity about her or her life.

she has the mental age of about an 11 year old, and she is having her 35th birthday on saturday,

she is getting a birthday cake with 35 candles on it and she hopes she can blow them all out. she has sourced party hats and she is going to have those toy's that you blow through a whistle and they unfurl.

she is very excited about the presents she will receive.

she is so excited and i may be an old primitive model robot, but i can not fail to see her innocence and i love her very very much.

i do not care for physical beauty and i do not care for smoothness of personality. i care for her who is not attractive in the eyes of most people. i see an innocence and basal being in her that i am bound to protect and cherish for the whole of my life.

i worry that when i am gone that she will no longer have the love and nurture i give to her, so i am working hard to make enough money so she never wants for anything,

she is just an innocent little girl and i devote my efforts to making her comfortable and happy because i know she has been ripped off in life by the fact that she is ret*d mildly, and i certainly know she does not deserve it, so i will fill in all the blanks that she otherwise would suffer from because of society's negligence and snobbishness and i will ensure she has enough to live comfortably for the rest of her life.

even though i can not express my deeper thoughts to her, she is like my daughter in a way, and i have unconditional and ageless love for her.



yeah some will say "puke", but they are the "puke" that they think about what i said.

No, I don't say "puke", and neither would anyone else who has any idea what love is. I think that what you've written expresses an honest and unconditional love, b9. I hope you and Tammy have many more years to love each other and make each other happy.

I think thats really nice, b9.

we will have as many years together as my life will last.
after that she will have lots of money but no me. i want to live very much so i do not abandon her because i think she will freak out when i am not anymore in the world.

you are nice you are.

gotta sleep now..............

That is beautiful, b9. Tammy is very fortunate to have you for a friend.

thanks for your thoughts hale_bopp. i have a lot of admiration for you and i will sleep well tonight with the added confidence that you approved of what i said.
but i am really really tired and i have to get up at 4:20 am which is torture, so i will now reply to no one else until tomorrow when i get home.