Infatuation, obsession, not letting go, etc.

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The world would be such a much better place if people weren't passive aggressive like that bartender.

Well I have this obsession with a beautiful girl that I used to be friends with. She was so beautiful sometimes I couldn't help myself, I had to touch her, either her ass, her boobs or her legs. The weird thing is she didn't mind most of the times. In fact she was the one who wanted to be friends with me in the first place, at first I didn't think this super hot girl would have anything to do with me but she actually started talking with me a whole lot. She was the first girl that I had actually gotten attention from and she's the reason I can actually talk to girls now(if I can talk to this hot girl I can talk to any girl). At first I just wanted to be friends but eventually I got hugely infatuated. She said stuff like, I'm so horny I might jump you or she would ask me to touch her boobs or she wrote my address on a piece of paper(don't even know where she got that from). At that time I was still pretty stupid and she also had a boyfriend so I didn't know how to react. I just thought she was being friendly as it was obvious I was still a virgin. Anyway this continued for a year or so until we both quit those classes. After I stopped seeing her I thought about it and I felt like she was into me at the time but I can't be certain and I don't remember those times all to well because I was to dumb at that point. A couple of months ago I finally told her how I felt, that I was in love with her because I couldn't bear it anymore, she didn't really react in a positive or negative way, but I knew she a boyfriend she cared deeply for so I didn't really matter. And btw I didn't want to steal her from her boyfriend, I just wanted to express my feelings because I couldn't lie to her anymore.
The fact is she's the first girl that gave me so much attention, she helped solve my girl shyness, we were good friends, I was allowed to touch her body and she was really really beautiful, probably the most beautiful girl I know(that's no exaggeration, she was model quality) so yeah I'm still kinda infatuated. Oh btw she wasn't slut if any of you think that.

Is this common among people w/ AS or HFA?

Most importantly, WHY does this happen, and how can it be prevented or at least dealt with when it does happen?

i don't really understand how the bartender could have behaved differently. because she worked in a service position, she was required to be friendly to customers no matter what. she used all of the tools at her disposal to try to get her point across without being bad at her job (i.e. just not smiling and seeming cold and distant). presumably she could not outright reject Mack27 because he didn't outright hit on her or ask her out.

we are assuming that Mack27's friends explained to him that the bartender wasn't interested after he was barred from the place. but... did Mack27's friends tell him she was not interested first, and then he kept on trying to hit on her? we don't actually know either way.

@hyperlexian addressed your question @TheWeirdPig, but here's another thought: immediately pursuing friendship after a romantic relationship has ended is very difficult. There are too many emotions to work through, and it makes it impossible to actually work through them when they keep getting triggered by hanging out with the ex. Usually the person who does the breaking up offers friendship. They are almost always offering friendship as a way of softening the blow of the break-up....they don't actually want to be friends, but they feel that cutting the person out of their life entirely is cruel. If the person on the receiving end of the break-up offers friendship, it's almost always a ruse to rekindle the romance.

I don't think she was passive aggressive. It wasn't explained to me before, and I never went there with friends. I didn't catch the signs until thinking back on it after the fact while talking to a therapist. This is something I got very depressed over. I don't blame her, I feel bad that she got scared. She volunteers for some autistic children's skiing program, so I thought maybe she'd be more understanding. If it was somebody else and I was normal every day me observing I would have recognized what was going on, for some reason I let my guard down in that place and all the mental tools I've developed to read people went down with it.

Well I have this obsession with a beautiful girl that I used to be friends with. She was so beautiful sometimes I couldn't help myself, I had to touch her, either her ass, her boobs or her legs. The weird thing is she didn't mind most of the times. In fact she was the one who wanted to be friends with me in the first place, at first I didn't think this super hot girl would have anything to do with me but she actually started talking with me a whole lot. She was the first girl that I had actually gotten attention from and she's the reason I can actually talk to girls now(if I can talk to this hot girl I can talk to any girl). At first I just wanted to be friends but eventually I got hugely infatuated. She said stuff like, I'm so horny I might jump you or she would ask me to touch her boobs or she wrote my address on a piece of paper(don't even know where she got that from). At that time I was still pretty stupid and she also had a boyfriend so I didn't know how to react. I just thought she was being friendly as it was obvious I was still a virgin. Anyway this continued for a year or so until we both quit those classes. After I stopped seeing her I thought about it and I felt like she was into me at the time but I can't be certain and I don't remember those times all to well because I was to dumb at that point. A couple of months ago I finally told her how I felt, because I had to get it off my chest that I was in love with her, she didn't really react in a positive or negative way, but I knew she had a boyfriend she cared deeply for so it didn't really matter. And btw I didn't want to steal her from her boyfriend, I just wanted to express my feelings because I couldn't lie to her anymore.
The fact is she's the first girl that gave me so much attention, she helped solve my girl shyness, we were good friends, I was allowed to touch her body and she was really really beautiful, probably the most beautiful girl I know(that's no exaggeration, she was model quality) so yeah I'm still kinda infatuated. Oh btw she wasn't slut if any of you think that.