Anyone here find intellect an attractive qaulity?

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(1) do i want a husband who looks down on me and sees me as a lesser underling who should be dominated?

or...

(2) do i want a marriage of equals, where we share the decision-making process, the financial responsibility, and the household duties?

seriously. think about THAT.

hyperlexian, Are you married at the age of 38?
If not then I rest my case.

Can you say "1950s"? Women are individuals too, and to see them as "lesser beings" is just wrong in this day and age...

That said, you do have one point... the money. Whether or not it's right, the expectation is still on the male in most western countries to be a provider. Doesn't mean he has to be the sole provider, but he is expected to be able to bring in a substantial chunk of change, if only as proof that he's not a freeloading bum and can contribute something useful to society. That's why men are intimidated by women that make a lot of money. Moreover, I think that it's why, subconsciously, a male-dominated society will impose a glass ceiling on women, in order to not be intimidated. After all, as a man, if you're not even contributing at least financial support to the relationship, what do you have to bring to the table?

yes, i have been married for 16 years (together for 20).

i guess that... i rest MY case.
.

A friend put a quote on Facebook that said something along the lines of:

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

A friend put a quote on Facebook that said something along the lines of:

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

You think smart women can't be wives who love their husband as much as less smart women?

You think smart women can't also look up to their partners and see them as the head of the family?

No wonder I'm single.

Should never breed with someone less intelligent than yourself that also goes for someone weirder than you too.

I value wisdom, not intelligence. A lot of "intellgent" people I can't be bothered with.

Tbh, I don't necessarily think it's true that men are intimidated by women who make a lot of money. In fact, I think some men actively desire high earning partners and resent the idea of assuming a traditional breadwinner role and they resent the idea of providing for a wife and children.

An ex-bf of mine, when I was offered a high paid job, joked about how I would be able to keep him in the style to which he wanted to become accustomed. And he was telling me that he dreamed of being a house-husband and working from home, doing computer programing or online trading or something. He definitely didn't see himself in the traditional role of breadwinner providing for a family. In fact, I suspected that had we married and had children, I think he would have deeply resented the financial burden.

Another ex-bf had an attitude towards finances where 'What's mine is mine, what's yours is ours', so his salary was his, to spend on expensive suits, shirts and ties (he was a trainee lawyer) and gadgets and music and stuff, whereas my money was 'ours' to buy groceries and pay for our holidays.

I think there's been a generational shift, in that older guys grew up expecting to marry in their early twenties or even late teens, assume that traditional breadwinner role, and they perhaps expected that they would earn the bigger salary, that their wife might not work, or might have a part-time job or a job with lesser responsibilities and pay that she was otherwise capable of, in order to combine it with child-rearing responsibilities.

Whereas nowadays guys are used to dating women who have jobs and their own money, perhaps even the women own their own home and car. Men are now used marrying in their late twenties or even thirties, so they are used to their financial independence and spending money on themselves and indulging their every whim. I read in another forum about a guy who had a high paying job and his wife had a lesser paying job, but they shared household expenses equally (so he had much more disposable income). She then took maternity leave and was paid a much lower rate of income, yet he still expected his wife to pay half of the household expenses. She was having to dip into her savings account, because her income from maternity allowances didn't cover 'her half' of the household expenses.

Yes, there might be some guys who resent women who earn more than them, who might feel emasculated, but that does not correlate to the idea that men still like to be the traditional breadwinner and earn more than their wives and support them and their family financially, because there's anecdotal evidence to suggest that's not the case, and that in fact men don't want to be traditional breadwinners supporting a family, they either want to be house-husbands themselves or they resent the idea of spending 'their' money on other people, even if it is their partner/wife and children.

At this stage, I'm not sure I can afford to be choosy!

Wombat you are insecure as hell. I pity any woman who ends up with you - and don't worry... she will definitely be pretty dumb to be with you in the first place

A lot of guys like stereotypical stupid girls for whatever reason - you know, the type that scream all the time, stretch out their words when they talk ("heeeeelllllloooo"), and giggle every ten seconds. But I agree with you, I prefer smart ones.

Can you give me a logical explanation why?

Yes, I find intellect to be very attractive. My girlfriend at the moment isn't exactly a professor, but she is intelligent and outspoken about her opinions. Of course, this has lead to some weird pillow talk. I quite distinctly remember lying in bed with her after the fact and debating with her the current state of political affairs in China, Japan, and N. & S. Korea.

Seriously we are weirdos... but I wouldn't have it any other way.