I want a girlfriend :'(

Post Reply New Topic

People do have a need for love. This is in our nature so we can create families and continue the survival of the species.

yeah there is a truth to that-but the world is so overly populated anyways, maybe its good that some don't have kids
point still stands, it won't kill someone not to have a girlfriend at this moment, nor does it kill them to wait
there are people, on this very forum, with far worse problems then just "not having a girlfriend"

Whether or not its a good thing humans thrive is another matter entirely, but the fact that our nature propels us to make it happen is a fact.

And yes, if you have worse problems than not having a girlfriend, you're less likely to care. But let's take this back to Maslow.



As you can see, once a person has basic survival needs and security covered, they begin to need affection and love. There's nothing wrong with wanting those things. Your problems should not be rated against the problems of others because how important they are is subjective and, by that logic, only poverty striken people in Africa have a "right" to be upset.

oooh a graph, don't I feel special

you don't know what sort of problems I had, mostly because I didn't spam the forum about it
yeah people are allowed to be upset, but the way you people go about it, is just...I don't even know what to call it
sometimes its horrifyingly sexist, other times its just close minded
nobody wants to listen to any advice and they wanna dump all their problems on some girl and have her to make them happy because they feel they're entitled to it
humans are social creatures yes, but wanting a girlfriend because you feel you're simply entitled to it because your human and then blaming her, and most everyone when she doesn't like you-isn't right

i disagree that sex and romantic love are a need. otherwise millions of people would die because they never married or had sex, and single virgins can and do live long and happy lives. i think it has more to do with what we TELL ourselves we need, as opposed to what our bodies or minds actually require.

people can be quite fulfilled with family, friends, and social groups. if all of these areas are lacking, then perhaps the resulting loneliness has more to do with that than with the lack of romantic love.

in their logic all the things I find important and what give me happiness are useless because I am single, and apparently am either selfish, lying or undesirable
I donno...why he needed to post a graph is beyond me

Well now you're talking about something else entirely. Sounds like your beef is more with the attitudes of some men on here than the idea in general, and I do agree with you that men shouldn't feel they're entitled to a girlfriend, neither should they blame all their issues on others - neither, of course, should women.



It's a psychological need, not a physical need. A 40 year old virgin will still have strong unfulfilled desires, even if they have lived a large portion of their lives masking them.

some people enjoy being single

Usually because they can sleep with loads of different girls, and as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs tells us, once the basic sexual need is fulfilled, you'll start craving something deeper.

I enjoy being single

Unless you're asexual, you'll start to crave a relationship sooner or later. It's just human nature.

I used to, but that was more...well I think it was only cause I wanted to fit in
now I couldn't care less about fitting in and will get to it on my own damn time
I have a lot more important things to deal with then trying to bother with dating
I am not good at it, so its not something I am choosing to do before easier things (like school, and work, etc)

by your logic in a year I'll be here making a thread all "I am soooo alone, sad-sad-sad"

so what? some people have employment goals that are never reached either (which, according to the graph, is more important), and that type of situation isn't bad enough to expect the world to change itself to fix things for their sake.

unfulfilled DESIRES are not needs. your graph is an arbitrary construction based on opinion, not fact.

Last edited by hyperlexian on 26 Dec 2010, 12:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Totally agree with this. People may feel that they need to be loved but this can come from many different sources, not just a girlfriend/boyfriend. If you put so much of a burden on one person to make you happy you might end up driving them away.

As Maslow's Hierarchy says, work comes before love and acceptance anyway. Once those are fulfilled, you'll start to desire a relationship again. It's our nature, and that graph was created by a famous psychologist who carried out many studies to come to his conclusions. Over history, it's generally proven to be true.



A person who can't reach whatever goal is needed for them to be financially secure will have unfulfilled psychological needs, yes.

It's also human nature to convince yourself you don't want something if you feel you can't get it. Say, for example, if you wanted a certain house while you were looking to move, but you couldn't afford the mortgage on it, you'd convince yourself you never really wanted it anyway by focusing on any flaw it had, no matter how insignificant.