Who is attracted to you/flirts with you?

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I somewhat regularly have attractive young women trying to make eye contact with me. The last one was on Sunday while I was on a train. With my peripheral vision, I can see them repeatedly looking into my eyes for several seconds. The angle is minor, such that they must know that I can see them looking into my eyes. They usually make it obvious that they want me to notice them.

However, I have a bit of an aversion to making eye contact with a person who I have never spoken with and am not immediately going to speak with, so I stubbornly refuse to shift my gaze to them. After about 4 attempts, they stop trying.

Sometimes I find the whole situation amusing, and then I start to smile a bit, and I cannot fully suppress the smile, and that triggers a couple more futile attempts to make eye contact with me. If they are within a reasonable speaking distance, I think to myself, "Well, you could just say something, you know...".

I should work on overcoming this aversion and returning their compliment.

I used to get these really cute preppy girls all the time, the trouble with them though, because of my outward gestalt effects of AS, we're sizing me up like I was this adorable goofy disney character - at that time I was getting a lot of heat from a lot of places about that and it really irritated me because it felt like they were sizing me up for someone I wasn't inwardly and absolutely hated being seen as. Sometimes I've even had some girls who I found extremely attractive flirting with me (one was this girl I worked with maybe 3 or 4 years ago who had that whole Meg Ryan cuteness going on but even moreso) trouble is a lot of em also were real intense about it, gave me that whole Camerine Diaz light-up, and the problem with that is I used to be too much of a sponge for other people's outward emotional energies and I'd get so saturated by that that I'd feel like my emotional foundations and NT front were about to be completely taken for a wash - the fight or flight kicked in at that point and I ended up looking away from em or just acting like they weren't there because I almost had to for self-preservation's sake.

Funny thing is in a lot of situations, like going back to Olive Garden to work again, I had lots of the new girls sizing me up. I tend to notice one thing on the bright side, I'll also get a lot of those raveresque girls with the short dark-brown/black hair these days checking me out who seem like they're alternative but in the right ways rather than being snobby or elitist about it (one particularly cute girl at a Taco Bell down the street actually gave me a second receipt telling me to ask for her number when I came back through the drivethrough the next time). As for me though, I don't know if it's just this time in my life but I don't feel ready to date anyone - I can't focus on much of anything, I mentally fatigue too fast and my moods are way too up and down - those kinds of life problems seem like they're something almost any woman can pick up on fast and it can turn most of em out in a heartbeat even if your summoning all you've got to keep them from having to see any of that side of things.

I definitely know that feeling. I think the biggest reason I"d shy away from that was I knew that once I looked at them and smiled or whatever the social skill expectations of me would take a jump to a whole new level and I'd have to deliver a whole bunch of nonverbal cues almost flawlessly in a way that my body and face just weren't capable of pulling off at the time (especially when this happened at work - I used to go all out when I was busy a lot of times I could hardly speak let alone give good nonverbals back to a girl who was giving me the light up or one of those evil smiles). The problem is also, they're expecting you to show a huge piece of your personality in a deep and nonverbal way, usually the personality they're hoping to see is the trendy common-place NT orientation to the world and anything else is usually sorely dissapointing.

wtf? I'm no average lady if that's what you're trying to say. I've got more personality than most people.

Please delete all my post.

Last edited by TheMachine1 on 29 Jun 2006, 1:03 am, edited 2 times in total.

Your syntax is incorrect. Unless that isn't c++.

Please delete all my post.

Last edited by TheMachine1 on 29 Jun 2006, 1:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

uhh.. what are you talking about and why?

Please delete all my posts.

Last edited by TheMachine1 on 29 Jun 2006, 4:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

It is exceedingly normal and common for a person to consider certain types of people as unsuitable for a relationship. You most likely do the same thing, but with different types. Most likely there are some types of people that you are not interested in having a relationship with.

I grew up in a family of academic snobs, and had it thrust upon me.. I do find power and money sexy, but some working guys are hot as I just wouldn't be nuts about marrying them...

Please delete all my post.

Last edited by TheMachine1 on 29 Jun 2006, 1:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

She did not say laborers are bogans. She did not say you are a bogan. She did not ascribe the term "bogan" to any particular type of people.

Please delete all my post.

Last edited by TheMachine1 on 29 Jun 2006, 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Me hmm well no one at this time for almost six months or more haven't found me any kind of attractive and no one flirts with me either.

No, I won't. Why does it matter who im interested in anyway? I probably won't get married at all, because I don't get along with most men.

And Bogan is not a "hate term", how can you "not let me get away with it" anyway? Get away with what? Am I not allowed personal preferences?