13 Jan 2011, 12:33 pm
MidlifeAspie wrote:
SurfMaggie wrote:
If there are any other Aspie guys out there who think in a similar way, could you offer me a little insight into perhaps how your hearts work... I am really struggling to think that our time together means so little to him when I am falling apart.
Four "Aspie guys" have come in and given the same opinion. I am only pointing out to the OP that the one Aspie female who has come in and answered her question with her opinion on what an "Aspie guy" felt or thought should be taken in context. No offense intended there so please don't take it so personally
13 Jan 2011, 12:34 pm
13 Jan 2011, 12:39 pm
13 Jan 2011, 12:49 pm
13 Jan 2011, 1:35 pm
I don't have the slightest idea about your particular case, but I can end relationships in a heartbeat and never look back if I believe it is necessary to do so.
This can range from an unanswered email to cutting off all contact with my abusive adoptive parents when I was 17.
It might be an Aspie thing, I don't know...
Anyway, sorry to hear about your loss, and good luck!
13 Jan 2011, 1:48 pm
13 Jan 2011, 2:07 pm
SurfMaggie wrote:
Obviously abusive parents is a separate case and I'm sorry to hear about that, but in terms of other relationships, what do you do if you realise you've made a mistake and the relationship might be worth another chance? Or is changing your mind not an option?
Moving on quickly seems in some ways like a healthy thing to do, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do it - I think the emotions run too deep.
SurfMaggie xx
Moving on quickly seems in some ways like a healthy thing to do, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do it - I think the emotions run too deep.
SurfMaggie xx
Once again, this is just me, but changing my mind is [I]totally[/] an option.
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
13 Jan 2011, 6:43 pm
HopeGrows
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Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
13 Jan 2011, 9:30 pm
Grisha wrote:
Once again, this is just me, but changing my mind is totally[/] an option.
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
You really should tell the women you date - or try to date - about this before you enter into a relationship with them. At least they'd have the opportunity to make an informed decision about whether they want to give their heart to someone capable of professing devotion and affection on Tuesday, then dumping them on Wednesday - and without ever looking back, even. I'd never enter into a relationship under those circumstances, because I'd never be able to trust that you meant what you said.....since you can apparently mean something, but then have a "thought swing" and then everything changes. What does, "I love you," even mean under those circumstances? Do you think you can comprehend the kind of damage you're capable of doing to a woman when you function the way you've described? Particularly if she doesn't [i]know that's the way you function? She's thanking her lucky stars that she's found you - she doesn't even care about your Aspieness - and you can turn your feelings for her off like you're turning off a faucet. And you're willing to do this to someone who loves you? That's her biggest flaw: she gave you a chance and she loves you. That's what she deserves for giving you a chance? Stunning.
13 Jan 2011, 9:35 pm
HopeGrows wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Once again, this is just me, but changing my mind is totally[/] an option.
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
You really should tell the women you date - or try to date - about this before you enter into a relationship with them. At least they'd have the opportunity to make an informed decision about whether they want to give their heart to someone capable of professing devotion and affection on Tuesday, then dumping them on Wednesday - and without ever looking back, even. I'd never enter into a relationship under those circumstances, because I'd never be able to trust that you meant what you said.....since you can apparently mean something, but then have a "thought swing" and then everything changes. What does, "I love you," even mean under those circumstances? Do you think you can comprehend the kind of damage you're capable of doing to a woman when you function the way you've described? Particularly if she doesn't [i]know that's the way you function? She's thanking her lucky stars that she's found you - she doesn't even care about your Aspieness - and you can turn your feelings for her off like you're turning off a faucet. And you're willing to do this to someone who loves you? That's her biggest flaw: she gave you a chance and she loves you. That's what she deserves for giving you a chance? Stunning.
She had to know this was a possibility if she "doesn't even care about" his "Aspieness".
13 Jan 2011, 9:36 pm
HopeGrows wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Once again, this is just me, but changing my mind is totally[/] an option.
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
You really should tell the women you date - or try to date - about this before you enter into a relationship with them. At least they'd have the opportunity to make an informed decision about whether they want to give their heart to someone capable of professing devotion and affection on Tuesday, then dumping them on Wednesday - and without ever looking back, even. I'd never enter into a relationship under those circumstances, because I'd never be able to trust that you meant what you said.....since you can apparently mean something, but then have a "thought swing" and then everything changes. What does, "I love you," even mean under those circumstances? Do you think you can comprehend the kind of damage you're capable of doing to a woman when you function the way you've described? Particularly if she doesn't [i]know that's the way you function? She's thanking her lucky stars that she's found you - she doesn't even care about your Aspieness - and you can turn your feelings for her off like you're turning off a faucet. And you're willing to do this to someone who loves you? That's her biggest flaw: she gave you a chance and she loves you. That's what she deserves for giving you a chance? Stunning.
*ponders*
~Kate
HopeGrows
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Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
13 Jan 2011, 9:47 pm
MidlifeAspie wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Once again, this is just me, but changing my mind is totally[/] an option.
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
I do it all the time, it's like a sort of intellectual pseudo-bipolarism: kind of like mood-swings but more properly described as "thought-swings".
My thoughts seem to govern my emotions to a very unusual degree, and it's murder when it comes to relationships - if I were him, I could very easily show up back on your doorstep consumed with huge amount of genuine passion like what happened before never even occurred.
But it wouldn't be like I realized what I had done was a mistake, and sought to correct it - It would be like my entire existential paradigm had suddenly changed and I lived in a different world than the one I lived yesterday, and in this world we're together.
No wonder I'm single...
You really should tell the women you date - or try to date - about this before you enter into a relationship with them. At least they'd have the opportunity to make an informed decision about whether they want to give their heart to someone capable of professing devotion and affection on Tuesday, then dumping them on Wednesday - and without ever looking back, even. I'd never enter into a relationship under those circumstances, because I'd never be able to trust that you meant what you said.....since you can apparently mean something, but then have a "thought swing" and then everything changes. What does, "I love you," even mean under those circumstances? Do you think you can comprehend the kind of damage you're capable of doing to a woman when you function the way you've described? Particularly if she doesn't [i]know that's the way you function? She's thanking her lucky stars that she's found you - she doesn't even care about your Aspieness - and you can turn your feelings for her off like you're turning off a faucet. And you're willing to do this to someone who loves you? That's her biggest flaw: she gave you a chance and she loves you. That's what she deserves for giving you a chance? Stunning.
She had to know this was a possibility if she "doesn't even care about" his "Aspieness".
I'm sorry @MidlifeAspie, could you point me to the reference that describes the above as a symptom of Asperger's? Cause I'd really like to see that reference. I've never - not in one instance - even seen a hint of that kind of behavior described as part of Asperger's.
13 Jan 2011, 9:49 pm
HopeGrows
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Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 52
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13 Jan 2011, 9:53 pm
13 Jan 2011, 9:57 pm
13 Jan 2011, 9:58 pm
