Do you think this should be given consideration?

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Yeah but i think the male role in relationships is harder in the female role because men and women as a gender do find different
asepcts attractive in a partner. what i mean is that NT men like AS qualities in women and NT women do not like AS qualities in men. If this is a gender thing or societys fault or simply just years of tradtion dating back to the stone age?

Um, really?

You can't speak for all NT and AS men and women.
AS qualities in a women do not attract men, as far as I know.
I found someone despite them, not because of them.

You only think men have it harder because you are one and only know your own experiences.

All that i am saying is that man has to the provider and take charge in relationships thats all.

a fully grown man having meltdowns is not going to be appealing to a women at all. If your a women on the ohter hand its more acceptable to have meltdowns etc....... basicly what i am saying is that women can get away with acting silly and men cannot.

i have read up on the internet that aspie find it very hard to establish realtionships thats why i think that is harder for men.

Last edited by Jamesy on 13 Jan 2011, 10:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ah yes, more generalisations on every relationship.
I see why you're having problems now.

Are you kidding me? In what magical fairy land is this?



No, no, and no. Your assumptions and premises are all completely wrong. This is where you fail. None of what you have said is borne out by me or (from what I understand) the other female WP'rs.

All that i am saying is that it is a trend in society the male and female role in relationships but yes i agree though times are changing and quite a lot of women do not fit the old fasioned steretoypes nowadays.

I think the main problem with aspie men is the taking charge and responsiblity aspects of the male role in relationships. its also more important in relationsips to have good social skills esspecially if your male not so much if your female.

Last edited by Jamesy on 13 Jan 2011, 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

This is repetitive now.
Your attitude is the reason you can't find a relationship.
Stop blaming other things.

Your premise is wrong. There is no debating with you because you lack the necessary experience/database.

Also (and please don't take this the wrong way), is English your native language? I'm wondering if I'm missing the meaning of what you say. Also, do you live in the "Western" world? We could be talking apples and oranges if you live in a culture that's completely foreign to my day-to-day life.

It's true women can get away with acting "silly" more often than men can because women have been established as emotional and irrational, but that isn't exactly an advantage for those of us who want to be taken seriously.



A female doesn't need to have good social skills?

You obviously haven't been a female.

I can see why others would think that (even if it's untrue): you make it look easy. I can try 100 times, and will just end up failing 100 times, and I'd say that the same applies to a lot of men and women here. So seeing someone actually succeed makes us think that such a person has it "easier"...

emilon i am just quoting what i found on the internet.

look here is some info i found on yahoo answers from an aspie guy who lives in america.

Resolved QuestionShow me another »
Is it true that most men with Asperger's Syndrome don't marry?

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
I believe I have Aspergers and the answer to your question is a definitive yes. Not only are men with Aspergers mostly unlikely to marry but many who do marry have their marriages end in divorce. Take me for instance, I am 38 and have never been in an intimate relationship, let alone been married, yes I am straight but my Aspergers impairs my ability to relate to others in friendships as well, let alone intimate relationships.

Some people mistakenly believe that Aspergers is just another form of being shy but what they don't understand is that a non-Autistic person with low confidence, knows how to relate with others but doesn't have the confidence to carry it out, a person with Aspergers, isn't just shy but does not have a clue socially on how to relate to others in a meaningful TWO-WAY exchange.

The key phrase for anyone on the Autism spectrum is "mind blindness". It is the cutoff that keeps many on the spectrum from making that extra connection to the outside world beyond our minds.

I am glad you said men with Aspergers and not people with Aspergers. While women with Aspergers don't have it easy either, the social expectations in society are much different for men and women, thus making men with Aspergers at an extra disadvantage in the dating world. Men are suppose to take charge and initiate but it is very difficult to for someone with Aspergers to function socially let alone be the one in charge.

Then there is the alone time. Many men with Aspergers crave solitude most of the day, more than most non-Autistic people and that in addition impairs any relationship from lasting.

Lastly, I wish I had the web link but a couple of years ago, I read a piece from a 40-something man with Aspergers, who finally had a girlfriend and he said out of his Ohio Aspergers support group, only 2 of the 80 adult Asperger men had ever been married!

That is no joke and the life most of us live.

Thank you for your question.

I disagree. I don't think there is any monolithic style that applies to everyone. Different people want different things. Different people are attracted to different things.

If NT men have any dating advantage over AS men (a perilous overgeneralization in itself), I think that the advantage is merely their ability (sometimes) to move on more rapidly and not get hung up on a single rejection. The ability to move on rapidly and not fret over each individual rejection speeds the process of finding the person you are most compatible with.

I just worked hard at being more 'normal' (if that makes sense) and got lucky.
Trust me, if i'd been on this site before I met Stefan, no-one would ever think i'd had it easy.
I was worse than any male here thinking everything was awful and pointless and useless.
Positive thinking did wonders for me, still does.

I am from england so yes english is my native langauge i think?

I like em but they run from me.

I've said this before & I'll say it again; we should have arranged marriages so we could bypass the searching & dating BS. Aspies are logical & an arranged marriage seems more logical to me

Last edited by nick007 on 13 Jan 2011, 11:24 am, edited 6 times in total.