15 Jan 2011, 12:55 pm
AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,665
Location: Houston, Texas
15 Jan 2011, 9:21 pm
Grisha wrote:
. . . it really helps to have a sense of humor about it. I once asked a date if she had a defibrillator handy. 
That's the Aspie sense of humor! Or, at least it's kind of my sense of humor. And good for you, Grisha.
Yes, we can make a point to add to our social skills and get feedback as we go along, in a series of medium steps. This is why I describe myself as having patchy social skills.
16 Jan 2011, 4:31 am
16 Jan 2011, 10:10 am
16 Jan 2011, 11:04 am
16 Jan 2011, 11:06 am
16 Jan 2011, 5:20 pm
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Firstly, the whole "creeped out by me" thing is a self-fulfilling prophecy - lose it. I've found getting feedback from women in this regard invaluable, many women are so unbelievably kind in this regard, just ask.
But I am a creep... there's no way around that. Why else would women not mind being friends but nothing closer than that? Honestly, if women still want to be friends with you then you're obviously not *that* creepy.
I don't really have much other advice to give. Just... you're probably not in as bad a position as you think you are. I have a friend who is always getting himself down about his appearance and his past relationship failures, and he's still one of my favourite people in the world despite that. If he could just drop the depressiveness he'd be even higher up the list.
Back when I was a mopey teenager I think some of the books that helped me most were probably "Being Happy" and "Making Friends" by Andrew Matthews - they're probably just standard self-help type books but they did help me and they have cool pictures of people in nutshells...
Anyways - watch it or I'm going to have to start threatening to gather you L&D guys up and beat you with sticks until you cheer up.
17 Jan 2011, 12:23 am
Gremmie wrote:
Honestly, if women still want to be friends with you then you're obviously not *that* creepy.
I suppress my creepiness as much as I can. The facade works in professional and less personal environments, but then I get into the whole "be yourself" thing... the problem is, the "real me" is someone that people don't like.Quote:
I don't really have much other advice to give. Just... you're probably not in as bad a position as you think you are. I have a friend who is always getting himself down about his appearance and his past relationship failures, and he's still one of my favourite people in the world despite that. If he could just drop the depressiveness he'd be even higher up the list.
I may not be in the worst position in the world (people like MR20 exist, after all), but my position is still very bad. Yeah, sure, I know my way around computers. I can get audio and video systems to work to their utmost efficiency. Those technical things are things I understand. Getting people to like me is not. No matter how hard I try I just can't do it. We're all humans, and everyone has things they can do and things they can't. I just happened to get stuck with a really sh***y hand by way of my greatest desire in life (to have a family of my own) requiring the very skill sets that are impossible for me to learn.Quote:
Anyways - watch it or I'm going to have to start threatening to gather you L&D guys up and beat you with sticks until you cheer up.
Are the beatings going to continue until morale improves?
17 Jan 2011, 12:30 am
17 Jan 2011, 8:51 am
Kilroy wrote:
emlion wrote:
Quote:
Then why do I get the idea that I have to both look and more importantly act like the Old Spice guy in order to get anywhere?
I think if you acted like the old spice guy women would be scared.
Unless you were on a horse, with diamonds.
Then it'd probably work.
Being yourself is WAY more important, there's nothing less of a turn on than someone being fake.
they dont when I do it
Who don't do what when you do what?
17 Jan 2011, 11:22 am
