Why do I despise being single?

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can I tell you something here.. My husband was very single before we met.. he was 33 and never had a girl friend because of his social anxiety. And when i met him it was from a personal ad and I was really surprised that this very good looking man was single. it was not until later that i found out that he had never dated anyone. i thought what was wrong with him? then i realzed there was nothing wrong with him at all. i used to think that I needed someone also and all i ever met where the wrong people.. when i say stop looking i mean just that! stop looking. i am not saying focus on one person. i am saying enjoy your life and let folks know that you are doing so and I can tell you it might take time but you will attract the right person for you..

That may be true... because women do still USUALLY expect the man to make the first move.

In this case my advice would be to 'not look' and to join groups you are interested in (groups like chess or computer clubs or whatever you like). In a group setting you won't be as pressured to talk all the time or entertain other people... and eventually in proximity with someone they may notice you or naturally begin a conversation on their own.

I mean, you do have to be around women to meet women. So you can't be a total recluse obviously if you want to meet a woman. That's just the law of nature.

Friends used to call it "the big E" - exposure. With continued exposure, you notice things about others that may be eclipsed in the beginning by the louder ones in the group. Women notice you more and you may also appreciate the quieter or "plainer" woman more.

Still the main message here is that when you are not as anxious about finding someone it has more of a chance to happen. The main message here is also that being happier with yourself does make you more relaxed and less anxious about finding a mate. And even if extroverts still get more partners overall... those things will still help YOU, more than being anxious will.

[quote="Aspie_ChavIf you can't be happy with yourself, then you have to pretend. I am very depressed and lonely but I think I do a very good job in pretending. Some people think I am a very happy person, when I am on the brink of suicide.
[/quote]



dude if your suicidal people can pick up on this..you can fool some people but yoru fooling yourself.......if your suicidal it must be tough for you and i am concerned...do you think you can stop pretending your allright long enough to admit to others you need a little help?

saying it here is a start.

a bif start but stop pretending...you want to be the happiest guy in the cemetry?

Remember I am not an NT-man. Even though I protend to others that I am happy, I do not to myself. I don't live or believe in lies; the truth is what I am all about. In this forum I will not hold back anything. In the NT world I have to do a lot of pretending and some lying too, it is just the way it has to be.

dude whatever works for you..im on your side here this is a great forum for help and seeing who needs it or wants it....i think we are all a little depressed, but dude i will say no more and respect your you'ness. it was the only word that seemed appropraite.
good luck