just-lou wrote:
Well, I thought the boyfriend/girlfriend situation encompassed many things - mostly things you see in marriages. Somoene to share your life with, companionship, closeness, partnership and a level of intimacy deeper than that of casual friendship. A stronger bond. That's a distinction, in my view. I keep friends at arm's reach, so to speak. I'm trying not to lock my boyfriend out like that. I'm trying to make a connection, and commitment, here. Despite my secretive nature, I'd like us to be close. I even don't mind him touching me, and I usually hate being touched. I don't mind kissing and hugging. It just made me think "typical. Here we go again" when the first thing he bought up was when he could have sex with me - like nothing else in the equation mattered. Just sex. It makes me defensive and cynical. I had some idea he may require it, and it was a testament to myself of how highly I think of him that I'd even consider it. I just need to get used to the idea before I start being pressured. Anything in that area of my body is painful, so I assume sex will be. I'm not exactly young, either, so it's all a bit awkward.
He knew I'm asexual. He gave me the explanation about a deeper emotional connection and someone to be with - but then jumps right in with the "when are we going to have sex, then?"
Oi.
I'm not sure I could distinguish between "casual friendship" and any other type of "friendship". For me, you either are or you aren't. I think I have a different definition of friend than you do, though. I don't consider people "at arm's length" my "friend". If I call someone my friend, they have access to much more of my trust and it's quite serious. That said, my distinction between friend and couple is the allowance of an intimate relationship that includes increased physical intimacy. I guess I should have been more clear about what serves as the dividing line. It's not so much sex as it is physical intimacy.
The emotional component is a given, otherwise, you're just sex-friends.
Last edited by Biokinetica on 09 Feb 2011, 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.