I'm confessing to him tonight.

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Even if it is not that way in actuality, that can be how it feels to many. In that event, the reality is less important because emotion now dictates the person's perception. One may know very well that their emotion is hindering their thought, but if it's powerful enough awareness still won't matter. I'm experiencing this with a girl I met last semester. She still infuriates me even though I haven't seen her since we passed by on the first day of class this semester. I still have flashbacks of that "can you please just go?" line and still curse her name as I try to go to sleep at night. One scenario that keeps playing over and over in my head is being at my university of choice in ten years and suddenly finding out that she's come to get a masters to further her "career" - at the same university. The probability of this is quite low given what hard information is there, and I'm fully aware of irrationality of fearing such a scenario at this point. However, that doesn't make the feelings go away, and it doesn't make the current reality any more bearable.

I'm doing that right now to my aspie guy. You can find some great happiness in just having the guy still around you It took my guy almost a week to reciprocate feelings for me. Then we broke up. But I do everything I can to be a good friend. And I still get my hugs! Friend hugs are just as good as relationship hugs.