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Full disclosure: new addition to my OKCupid profile

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Laz
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07 Mar 2011, 5:29 pm

No lad, you don't get why your stubbing yourself in the foot. It isn't about deception it isn't about making yourself out to be something your not. Its about conveying yourself for who you are. If you truly feel that you are this ticking time bomb of problems take yourself off okcupid and go sort out your life.

I'm serious you arn't going to find a relationship if you advertise yourself as as someone to take pity on.

Your not the first aspie to do that and you won't be the last.


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jamieboy
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07 Mar 2011, 5:54 pm

Working on an eight paragraph self-aggrandizing screed casting me as the 21st centuries answer to Napoleon now.



Jono
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07 Mar 2011, 5:56 pm

Laz wrote:
This is what I put just for a comparison/comment/criticism

Quote:
I am quite comfortable and open to say I am a person with a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome.

I do not feel having such a label is something I should hide away or feel ashamed about through fear of people forming misconceptions or jumping to conclusions of my character. I confront prejudice and challenge preconceptions and stereotypes.

So don't shy away, ask questions satisfy your curiosity


Do you think I should put something similar in?



Jono
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07 Mar 2011, 5:58 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Why didn't you put your pet pics yet? I told ages ago this would increase your chances.


I don't have any. Also, I told you,t they're not my pets. I usually tell them about the pets when I talk about them though.



Laz
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07 Mar 2011, 6:21 pm

jamieboy wrote:
Working on an eight paragraph self-aggrandizing screed casting me as the 21st centuries answer to Napoleon now.


Hopefully, a personality might emerge from your endevours :mrgreen:

Quote:
Do you think I should put something similar in?


No, put what you like. I was just giving what I put as an example.

Its not about doing "the right" thing its about conveying yourself in a way that shows someone what your like.

I'm perfectly capable of doing the same profile and writing what i'm bad at. All my deficits all my faults all my mistakes and failures. Infact maybe I should just to give an example of how someone conveys themselves negatively.


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Jono
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07 Mar 2011, 6:31 pm

Laz wrote:
Quote:
Do you think I should put something similar in?


No, put what you like. I was just giving what I put as an example.

Its not about doing "the right" thing its about conveying yourself in a way that shows someone what your like.

I'm perfectly capable of doing the same profile and writing what i'm bad at. All my deficits all my faults all my mistakes and failures. Infact maybe I should just to give an example of how someone conveys themselves negatively.


Ok I'm confused. :? I'm not aware of putting anything negative in my profile, all I did was add a mention of my AS. Point taken about conveying what I'm like though.



Laz
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07 Mar 2011, 6:37 pm

Twas a general point. Else I'd of said Jono you portray yourself so negatively why the long face etc etc


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Jono
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08 Mar 2011, 11:17 am

Laz wrote:
Twas a general point. Else I'd of said Jono you portray yourself so negatively why the long face etc etc


Fair enough.



Jono
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08 Mar 2011, 11:57 am

By the way, you know that girl who I exchanged email addresses with and then didn't reply to my email I sent 2 weeks ago? Well, she just visited my profile again about an hour ago due to the changes I made.



Zur-Darkstar
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08 Mar 2011, 1:19 pm

Not bad at all. The stuff about quantum physics and string theory may be intimidating some girls, so a better tactic might be to be more general, that you like science and learning about new things. A lot of women are intimidated by very smart guys because they feel inadequate. You want to sound intelligent, but approachable. Say you're a nerdy guy and like nerdy girls. I wouldn't say anything about creationism vs. evolution, regardless of how stupid the former is. It's simply best to avoid controversy early on. Many girls might agree with you, but fear you'd get into arguments with their friends and families, or be more stridently anti-religious than you actually are.

Further, spend more time talking about the kind of girl you're looking for and what kind of person you want. Most women want to feel needed and special, so make a list of some of the positive things you look for in women so they can go "Oh, I have that", and feel more comfortable that you're a good fit for them. They also don't want to take a back seat to Scientific American magazine in your list of priorities, so I would talk a bit more about who you are looking for and why you want someone in your life.


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Jono
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09 Mar 2011, 12:18 pm

Zur-Darkstar wrote:
Not bad at all. The stuff about quantum physics and string theory may be intimidating some girls, so a better tactic might be to be more general, that you like science and learning about new things. A lot of women are intimidated by very smart guys because they feel inadequate. You want to sound intelligent, but approachable. Say you're a nerdy guy and like nerdy girls. I wouldn't say anything about creationism vs. evolution, regardless of how stupid the former is. It's simply best to avoid controversy early on. Many girls might agree with you, but fear you'd get into arguments with their friends and families, or be more stridently anti-religious than you actually are.

Further, spend more time talking about the kind of girl you're looking for and what kind of person you want. Most women want to feel needed and special, so make a list of some of the positive things you look for in women so they can go "Oh, I have that", and feel more comfortable that you're a good fit for them. They also don't want to take a back seat to Scientific American magazine in your list of priorities, so I would talk a bit more about who you are looking for and why you want someone in your life.


Thanks for the comments. I am looking for someone intelligent though, so I'm not sure that those things will be intimidating to everyone. I'm also not sure how to explain why I want someone without sounding negative and desperate.



Jono
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09 Mar 2011, 12:21 pm

I've added a bit more to the comment mentioning my AS, saying that anyone reading it shouldn't be afraid to ask if they have any questions.



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09 Mar 2011, 12:57 pm

Jono wrote:
Zur-Darkstar wrote:
Not bad at all. The stuff about quantum physics and string theory may be intimidating some girls, so a better tactic might be to be more general, that you like science and learning about new things. A lot of women are intimidated by very smart guys because they feel inadequate. You want to sound intelligent, but approachable. Say you're a nerdy guy and like nerdy girls. I wouldn't say anything about creationism vs. evolution, regardless of how stupid the former is. It's simply best to avoid controversy early on. Many girls might agree with you, but fear you'd get into arguments with their friends and families, or be more stridently anti-religious than you actually are.

Further, spend more time talking about the kind of girl you're looking for and what kind of person you want. Most women want to feel needed and special, so make a list of some of the positive things you look for in women so they can go "Oh, I have that", and feel more comfortable that you're a good fit for them. They also don't want to take a back seat to Scientific American magazine in your list of priorities, so I would talk a bit more about who you are looking for and why you want someone in your life.


Thanks for the comments. I am looking for someone intelligent though, so I'm not sure that those things will be intimidating to everyone. I'm also not sure how to explain why I want someone without sounding negative and desperate.


Well, just focus on what you would do for a girl and how it would enhance your already great life. There's a difference between expressing a 'want' and a 'need'. Make it clear that you 'want' someone special in your life, but you don't really 'need' to find anyone to be happy. Nonchalant is the word I would use for my more recent successful approach (here I am, I'm available if you're interesting enough to be worth the effort).

There are different kinds of intelligence. Are you only into mathematical/logical intelligence that is involved in physics and other hard sciences, or are you also interested in someone who has other kinds of depth and intelligence like a broad knowledge of arts, history, psychology, business, music, etc. Very few people can intelligently discuss quantum physics, but a lot of people can intelligently discuss the things they know. What it really comes down to is whether you find it interesting to learn about other things or whether you really just want someone that shares your special interest. If you're looking for someone that shares a very narrow interest, you may have a rough go.


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Jono
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09 Mar 2011, 1:20 pm

Zur-Darkstar wrote:
Jono wrote:
Zur-Darkstar wrote:
Not bad at all. The stuff about quantum physics and string theory may be intimidating some girls, so a better tactic might be to be more general, that you like science and learning about new things. A lot of women are intimidated by very smart guys because they feel inadequate. You want to sound intelligent, but approachable. Say you're a nerdy guy and like nerdy girls. I wouldn't say anything about creationism vs. evolution, regardless of how stupid the former is. It's simply best to avoid controversy early on. Many girls might agree with you, but fear you'd get into arguments with their friends and families, or be more stridently anti-religious than you actually are.

Further, spend more time talking about the kind of girl you're looking for and what kind of person you want. Most women want to feel needed and special, so make a list of some of the positive things you look for in women so they can go "Oh, I have that", and feel more comfortable that you're a good fit for them. They also don't want to take a back seat to Scientific American magazine in your list of priorities, so I would talk a bit more about who you are looking for and why you want someone in your life.


Thanks for the comments. I am looking for someone intelligent though, so I'm not sure that those things will be intimidating to everyone. I'm also not sure how to explain why I want someone without sounding negative and desperate.


Well, just focus on what you would do for a girl and how it would enhance your already great life. There's a difference between expressing a 'want' and a 'need'. Make it clear that you 'want' someone special in your life, but you don't really 'need' to find anyone to be happy. Nonchalant is the word I would use for my more recent successful approach (here I am, I'm available if you're interesting enough to be worth the effort).

There are different kinds of intelligence. Are you only into mathematical/logical intelligence that is involved in physics and other hard sciences, or are you also interested in someone who has other kinds of depth and intelligence like a broad knowledge of arts, history, psychology, business, music, etc. Very few people can intelligently discuss quantum physics, but a lot of people can intelligently discuss the things they know. What it really comes down to is whether you find it interesting to learn about other things or whether you really just want someone that shares your special interest. If you're looking for someone that shares a very narrow interest, you may have a rough go.


Yes, I do find it interesting to learn about other things, although I would like to be able to talk about my interests as well. Physics isn't the only one.

I guess I'm looking for a friend as well as a relationship but I don't know how to properly explain that in the profile.



Meow101
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09 Mar 2011, 6:25 pm

Laz wrote:
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i have aspergers. it sucks and i get very lonely


Trust aspie men to be number one at self sabotaging their efforts :roll: :lol:


WTH? It wouldn't deter me at all if I liked a person otherwise. Then again I'm an aspie female and if you're trying to attract NT's you might have a point.

~Kate


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jamieboy
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10 Mar 2011, 7:16 am

Meow101 wrote:
Laz wrote:
Quote:
i have aspergers. it sucks and i get very lonely


Trust aspie men to be number one at self sabotaging their efforts :roll: :lol:


WTH? It wouldn't deter me at all if I liked a person otherwise. Then again I'm an aspie female and if you're trying to attract NT's you might have a point.

~Kate


Thanks meow. You're the cats meow. :D