"Don't come across as desperate"

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Basically, begging, pleading, trying to bargain, or asking for a "chance" pretty much indicates you are desperate. Desperate people differ from those who are just lonely and are more relaxed in their standards in that they don't understand what relationships are about. In their mind, the relationship is ultimately about them. Their fulfillment, their self image, their sense of self worth. Sometimes, they seek these things so badly that they will completely eliminate their standards even to the point of staying in abusive relationships, or people they aren't happy with, because they see it as a far worse thing to be without someone.

They don't understand that a relationship of substance must involve mutual attraction. They think their deeds alone should win them a partner, so in this sense, a desperate person will act much like a guy with "nice guy syndrome" or a girl with the equivalent.

Desperate people will basically couple to someone they think they have a chance with, and then either explicitly beg them for a chance in some way, or start trying to demonstrate their worth by lavishing the person with gifts or favors, solicited and otherwise.

So I would avoid these behaviors. Don't pursue girls just because you think you might have a chance. Pursue girls because you are actually attracted to them. Don't be overly eager to please them, point out commonalities, or agree with them if you actually don't.

I wouldn't really know what it was that made your friend assume you were a virgin. I suppose one might come away with this impression if envisions that the person wouldn't have the courage or social skills needed to ask someone out or advance a relationship to that stage. If the person seems to have a lot of juvenile interests....(like Pokemon and legos at your age), or converses with the zeal of a 12 year old, that might also give someone the impression that the person is a virgin I imagine....

Different Stroked for Different Folks,

If being a virgin and single bothers you that I would advise you to be proactive, make advances on girls, see an escort if necessary... but be proactive. Don't dwell on things, don't think just because you are the proverbial nice guy or extremely moral you will get a girl because I guarantee that you will not happen, only in the movies Prepare yourself for lot's of rejection but use it as fuel, learning experiences to keep moving to the next one. Also if you have money, travel to countries where there are more women than men.

If being a virgin and single does not bother you than don't worry about it.

How exactly does one use what could possibly be the most emotionally traumatic experience to exist and use it as "fuel"?

Actually I think rejection "toughens" you up a bit. Firstly, you learn that it is not the end of the world, and secondly, once you get rejected enough times it kind of brings you back to "reality" - meaning you lower your expectations and as a consequence you lower your anxiety which paradoxically increases you chances of ultimate success.

So go out there and get your a$$ rejected, OK?

Thats an interesting idea, you definately want to lower your anxiety when flirting and so on, i think its safe to say girls just don't dig anxious guys.

Although i hanv't been openly rejected yet, I've talked to more woman in the past few months than i have in my lifetime (not that that's a lot lol) and have realised how crap i am at it. i think it's knocked me back a bit as im still convinced i'm being freindzoned and rejected by every girl i've had an encounter with. but doing this has given me a clearer understanding of where i need to improve, which is trying to get over my anxiety, wheras before i was too concerned with how i should start conversations and so on.

I suppose its quite obvious but something i've come to appreciate is that for you to make any progression towards social success you'll have to put yourself in mildly stressing situations.

I don't know about you, but rejection only fuels the bitterness inside me that I know from a rational perspective is ruining further chances with others later on. So it's not improving my situation, it's making it worse...

I agree with the fact that rejection is tough and depended on how hard you are rejected the tougher it gets but you are going to let the prejudice, unforgiving, mean-spirited women stop you from finding romance? the easiest way to feel better is by getting a positive reaction from another girl, so don't think when you are rejected, walk away look for another one and start talking. I have severe anxiety and I force myself to do this, the more you do it, the better you sound but don't get me wrong, I haven't been on a date for nine months and it get's tough real tough, sometimes I just go home after a rejection. In America that's the way it goes unless you have something substantial to bring to the table your s**t out of luck. When I was living in South America, I was never single, always going on dates, getting numbers or had a girlfriend, rejection was still there but no where like it is here.
Keep on talking to girls, if you are not successful, you have at least sharpened your skill set instead of keeping it at idle.

Well you've probably heard it before, but that just means you need to work on liking yourself more.

I like me. Getting rejected by a woman doesn't change that at all.

It's just the more I get rejected, the less there is at stake on any given date because I'm really not expecting much to begin with.

I had a date yesterday where I really didn't care too much about how it turned out, and paradoxically I might actually get a second one for a change...

It seems that girls pursue American guys everywhere. The greater your nation is , the greater appeal for them. Like the UN forces here , I never saw local girls dating/marrying UN guys of the Pakistani/Indian/African/Mexican legions , the 'war brides' always go for guys of the German/Spanish/Italian/Norse legions.

I think that tells a lot about the person who would say it, rather. If anyone would ever say that to me, they would automatically become an enemy of mine. I have zero respect for the weak-minded people that cannot keep their pants on, just for being horny. Being able to discipline yourself, in that regard, is what separates you from animals.

And no, I am not some prude person who finds sex to be filthy. Quite the contrary, I am "perverted" beyond what most are, by far, and obsessed with sex. But I would, personally, infinitely rather die a virgin than lose it to the wrong person. Of course, there is a total difference between people who, unfortunately, have ended up losing their virginity to the wrong person, due to a harsh path of fate... rather, I am talking about those who find that one should lose one's virginity for the sake of losing it. I could never understand why one would think that way... I guess it has to do with craving to be a part of a group, or something mindless of that sort.

Things like these are why I question what the hell I am doing on this planet. Then again, I guess there well may be a girl out there who feels the exact same way that I do, and who is fated to cross my path, one day. I do hope that day will be a day in this particular life, but if not... then I will just find her in another life. Time is starting to run out for me, since I am reaching thirty, but things certainly could be worse....

I never said go and have sex with everyone. I only said its easy to tell if someone acts like a virgin.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound as if I insinuated that. I mainly meant that as a reply to what the thread starter mentioned. My apologies.

So bang an escort then...You have to take ownership of it and not give a f**k anymore.

Isn't hypergamy awesome?

Captain Proactive and his sidekick Veiny destroyer. We'll be the new Pinky and The Brain.